Life of a Warrior
by Elpis of Hope
Summary: Hephaestion is now 30 y/o and reflects back to the 10 year campaign he has shared with "Alexander the Great". With his death looming over him, will he finally be able to rekindle and rebuild his love with his Alexander by using their past as guidence.
1. Chapter 1 New Beginnings

This story is inspired by the wonderful stories written by Fedia entitled "But the Warrior Comes First" and "Breath and Pulse". I hope you don't mind! This story sorta begins where you left off with a twist. Also, I want to thank all the other great writers who have brought to life Hephaestion and Alexander through their imaginative stories ie Lysis, Baliansword, KizzyKat, Moon71, Tribal Shimmy, Norrken, Rothalion, and all the other incredible writers.

**The Life of a Warrior:**

The sun beats unmercifully down slicing the air around him making it difficult to breath. Another sand storm is raging fervently through the camp, making it virtually impossible to maneuver or possess a clean vision of anyone or anything in sight. As he loosens the hood of his cloak, immediately his face breaks into a rolling wave of sweat. There is no escaping the heat and the sand of this distant land. The granular dark sands blows throughout the camp swirling in a magical dance leaving traces of itself on everything it touches. The King looks out into the Gedrosian desert laid out before him, into the horizon, and observes the continuous mounds of sand that roll into oblivion. He has been on campaign for 10 years, but nothing had prepared him for the conditions of the harsh Gedrosian desert. This desert has taken almost ¾ of his army including the camp followers. This track from India back to Babylon has been the hardest and most difficult of his campaign. Had he really chosen this Southern route back to punish his army for their refusal to march further into India? The King takes in a sigh and rubs the area of his wound around his ribs. The Mallian arrow had been suspected to be poisonous, and was meant to kill him. Yet, he prevails, although the recovery has been slow and at times painful, the King remains determined to continue on to "conquer" the rest of world. But silently he resolves that perhaps he may never see his dream come into full volition. "Ah to have seen the 'where the sea ends and falls' – to have known the end of the world" he whispers. At least to his men and to his close companions he "is" the same "King", who first began this crusade; his destiny. But his he still loved by them?

To himself, in the silence of his heart, he is tired and at the age of 30, his body and spirit have seen and endured a lifetime of pain, joy, and heartache. Silently he prays to the Gods that they have not forsaken him and soon he will meet up with Nearchus on the coast in a few days. He wants to reach Babylon to take up the administrative matters he has neglected over the years. It is time his kingdom consolidated and was ruled by the one sole sovereign, Alexander the Great, the King of Persia and Macedonia, the Pharaoh of Egypt and the son of Zeus and Amman. But, deeper in his heart, Alexander knows he is simply exhausted and wishes to just cease for a moment in one place. If only for a brief stop to share some needed time with his beloved. He draws his attention to the task at hand and lifts the tent flaps and walks through his antechamber into his private quarters.

Alexander has returned to his tent to look into the condition of his companion. It had been three days since their last encounter and Hephaestion has not recovered from his fever. During the past nights, Alexander has kept bedside vigil for any sign of hope that his lover would once again open his eyes and reach out to hold him. He longs to feel his warmth and the confirmation of devotion that had long since escaped them. Alexander knows that without Hephaestion, he will not be able to go on. A man cannot survive with only half of himself, half of his being and half a heart.

He reflects back to the brutality of their last moment together. Why did he need to overpower and possess Hephaestion? He vividly recalls his lover balled up in the corner of the bed after dismissing the six Nubian slaves who had been ordered to restrain Hephaestion as he forced himself upon him. What had happened to the tenderness of their relationship? He had convinced himself the love remained; but also he has seen that it had morphed into something unrecognizable since the days of their youth. As a youth in Mieza, their love had endured so much. He had convinced himself to believe that through all the trials and tribulation of the Indian campaign, the fierce battles and his other lovers; their commitment and devotion to each other would survive. But would it survive unscathed? They had both known that throughout their years together, their coupling had started to become voided of tenderness and gentleness and had been replaced with shear violence and aggressiveness. Alexander had tried to recapture what they had lost. But had he really tried? And what margin of success could he give it? Both men knew, their first real "coupling" had been based on violence. Back then, in the partially enclosed gardens, Alexander had taken his lover in blind rage. Hephaestion would later tell him he had consented to it to ease the remorse; but Alexander knew well enough that his need to dominate was a reaction to his father's disappointment in him for not taking his companion as was his right. Alexander's inability to "take what was his" would have cost him his place as regent during his father's absence. In turn, mislead by his companion's claims of taking on another lover, he had set on that as a prince, he would claim what was his gift from the gods. But in turn, he had merely made Hephaestion nothing more than a whore. The then young prince had tried to "compensate" his companion for the lack of love and compassion of the earlier transgressions in the gardens. He had wanted them to share the "first time" as they had dreamt and built it up to be. But the moment was lost and in the future, they would again encounter similar moments of "sadistic" lovemaking that would be the end result of violent fights, arguments and a need for domination.

As he approaches the side of the bed, Alexander calls to mind their last encounter.

"For the last time, my love, would you come to our bed?"

"No" growls Hephaestion "I am not your whore to whom you may summon at your beckon call".

Alexander looks up perplexed, "You know I love you to much to ever ….."

Hephaestion pulls his chiton over his head and kneels down near Alexander's bed. He takes his hand and glides it over the contours of Alexander's back. The sensation of Hephaestion's touch tingles every part of Alexander's body. Hephaestion raises Alexander chin to look into his dark eyes. Immediately, Hephaestion's heart melts but he suppresses his urge to concede to his lover and instead leans down and kisses him softly. He feels his desire building up but by shear will-power, he restrains himself from going any further. He swiftly pulls away and whispers,

"And I love you more" … he pauses and with all his courage, he becomes unafraid to face the man before him, so he continues on… "But we cannot allow ourselves to indulge as we did in the days of Meiza. We must not ignore our present responsibilities. If I am to be your Chiliarch; your second in command, I cannot be seen any longer as your consort, your mere lover.

Alexander rises up ready to protest, but Hephaestion gently places his hand on his shoulder to ease him down and again looks at his lover,

"I will not allow myself to lose face at the price of your men's faith and devotion to you. You are a king of many nations and tribes. I am but a shadow to your world. I will never leave you and I will always remain loyal. But I cannot risk being seen by your men or by your companions sneaking out of your tent like a hetaera. I must prove my worth as a true warrior of your army to reaffirm to your men that I am not your second command because of my skills in bed but for my ability to lead and fight. You know the Macedon way as instilled by your father in his army, I MUST earn through merit or the men will never accept me as Chiliarch. I will make myself worthy of you my King, my Alexander, if I must fight you to prove it."

Alexander shakes his head. "You will fight me to prove your point?" He rises up and swings his legs off the bed. He sits and looks down at Hephaestion with detestation. "Must we always have to fight to love each other?"

Unafraid to counter his lover, and feeling his own temper rising. Hephaestion sternly responds,

"Very well, if you have the need to take me, I will bend down for you and you can have your way. If I am to be treated as a whore, then so be it … MY King I will be what I am asked to be – forever your servant".

Alexander suddenly rises from the bed; he pulls Hephaestion up grabbing a strong hold of his arms. He looks up to him and raises his voice calmly but with conviction,

"I am no longer a young prince in need to prove himself to his malevolent father nor am I the blind son of a manipulative mother. I am KING and I would remind you of that fact General Amyntor. As KING, I will decide the rank and file of this army and I alone will decide who will command and lead. YOU will be Chiliarch because you have proven to be worthy to be my second in command should I fall. I have decided this and no other. When I announce your promotion it will be accepted by all as it is my right. As KING I dictate the orders in this army NOT YOU or any other man, companion or person. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"So you would have me as your whore", whispers Hephaestion.

Quietly, Hephaestion simply bows his head and straighten up and turns to walk towards the tent flaps. With startling speed, Alexander charges after Hephaestion and grabs hold of his arm, "Will you have me ORDER you to stay?" But Hephaestion refuses to turn around. Alexander feels his rage building up in him. He clinches his fist and trembles in his emotions of both complete distain and love towards this man in front of him.

"I have forewarned you what would happen should you attempt to resist my offer to my bed," hisses Alexander.

Hephaestion again refuses to submit and takes another step towards the tent flaps. Sensing this, Alexander barks, "I order you to stay".

Before Hephaestion is able to turn, Alexander has pushed him down onto a nearby couch and again orders him, "Stay here". Without haste, Alexander orders the guards outside his tent to watch over Hephaestion to insure Hephaestion does not leave. "You are to use whatever means to keep him here. Should you fail in your task, I will have you flayed and on your knees scrubbing the arses of my horses."

It was at this moment; Alexander comes completely blinded by his rage and conflicting emotions. He storms out of his tent determined to prove his point to Hephaestion. He will make this man realize he too can and will "fight to prove his point". As King he will use all that is in his disposal to make his general stay the night.

Alexander returns with the six Nubian slaves…

000

A moan from his lover returns Alexander's attention to the present. Slowly, he reaches for the cloth near the bed pallet and wrings it through the water bowl. He presses it down on Hephaestion forehead and down the side of his check and parched lips. He then returns the cloth into the bowl. He reaches out for the thin sheet laid over his lover and pulls down to reveal the well sculpted tan chest. At the age of 30, his companion has not lost his youthful masculine physique. He has been sculpted by the very gods of Mt. Olympia blessed with the strength of Apollo and the ability to love gifted by Eros. Alexander has never been able to deny this man's beauty. Casually, he gazes upon the glistening blue stone hanging down a leather cord resting on his chest, perpendicular with his heart. It settles on Hephaestion's chest as a monument to their eternal bond to each other. Alexander grasps hold to his own stone hanging around his neck recalling the Theban lovers who once wore these necklaces. These same lovers, who died reaching out to each other, during the battle of Chaeronea. In honor of these fallen lovers, Hephaestion and Alexander had vowed to preserve the same devotion and love towards each other, even beyond death.

Exhaling, Alexander takes the cloth and gently wipes the well curved rippling chest, and slowly encircles the area around the stomach. He notes Hephaestion breathing has become more steady and calmer than two days earlier. His fever appears to have reduced. But still his lover has not awoken. The compunction of the earlier nights begins to haunt him.

Again, he reflects on the dreadful night, had he not thought the request to Hephaestion had been a simple one. He had only longed to share an entire night with his lover. Hephaestion had been gone for weeks, sent out on yet another scouting mission in search of water and/or nearby village for supplies. For weeks prior to his mission, they both had not been able to indulge in an intimate moment together. But earlier that night, they had managed to hide behind the shadows of the dining tent to take some time together. Their coupling had been swift, driven by passion and a deep desire to own each other again. Alexander especially had needed his lover with a profound desperation and carnal hunger. Like the steep cavernous mountains of the Hindu Kush, so deep was his desire to dominate his lover time after time again throughout the night. He needed to brand him - to reaffirm that Hephaestion was his and his alone and no other. But his lover had denied him his request and simply rebuked his offer to stay the night. Hephaestion had flatly denied Alexander plea to lay with him in "their" bed opting to bend over against the wall like a mere whore. When did their relationship… their lives turn for the worse. When did love become blurred with hatred and lovemaking turn into rape?

A tear slowly escapes down his eye. He is overcome with a feeling of melancholy and quietly rests his head on Hephaestion chest. He lies across his lover; he grieves for the loss of his greatest gift, his one true love. He prays for a chance to redeem himself and to show the gods that he has not forsaken their gift to him. If necessary, he WOULD exchange his empire for his loved one. He will make amend to this lover if only he would awaken from his deep slumber. It is with this realization; he resolves that his basic existence began and ended with Hephaestion's love and presence.

Hephaestion's heart beat lullabies Alexander to close his eyes and he finally succumbs to Hypnos power. For three days, he has not slept in fear that his lover would slip into the realm of Hades without notice. Hephaestion had been his responsibility; it was his duty to care for him. Moreover, Alexander wanted to be by his side to remind his lover that he was not alone that he was never alone. It had always been the two of them against the world; as it had always been their dream to rule it.

A hand caresses the top of his head. He feels fingertips playing with his hair twisting them into knots. Immediately, he recognizes the touches and turns to face the better half of his existence.

"Xander….wher??" a soft voice lingers in the air.

"Phai ?? Shhhh my love… you have been taken by fever…." Alexander takes Hephaestion's hand into his own and rises up to greet him with a smile longer than the Euphrates. "Let me get the physician… "

With a nod of acknowledgement, Alexander yells for his pages looming in the shadows, and orders them to summon his personal physician. He quickly returns his full attention to Hephaestion offering him some water.

Hephaestion looks down at his lover and wonders back to his dream. He had received a vision of his own death. He had never been much of a man of gods. It had always been Alexander who saw himself specially connected and aligned with the gods. A part of Hephaestion wanted to attribute his dream to his illness; but he could not ignore the feeling it left him. He had known what he saw was his own fate, their future. The dream had left him feeling desperate to cling on to his life with Alexander. He had been told, perhaps by a shade from his past, that his death would not come at this moment; but that Thanatos would claim him before he reached Babylon. Upon looking down at his love, Hephaestion decides that no time would be further wasted with his Alexander. He resolves that their relationship needed to be renewed and rekindled. He had been blessed with a foreshadowing of his death so now it was his choice to use his remaining time wisely. He is drawn out of his dream state when he feels a hand reach out for him.

"Phai, I am sooo sorry… I never meant to hurt…. I was a fool… Please forgi…" pleads Alexander, but before he is able to finish, Hephaestion takes his hand and cups Alexander face.

"We have both been fools but it is I who has been blinded by my selfishness and by the contempt held by those I care not for…" He pauses catching his breath… "It is you that I love and I do not wish to fight it anymore…."

Alexander grabs Hephaestion's hand with tears pouring down. Uncaring to those who may witness their intimacy, he leans in and kisses his lover's parched lips and whispers, "I thought I had lost you…. I love only you… you cannot leave me alone to th…"

"I will never leave you Alexander", interrupts Hephaestion "Lets stop this nonsense" and with a slight smiles motions Alexander to pour him another cup of water".

It is then; Hephaestion reaches a decision that he will not share his dream with Alexander. Should the dream be a glimpse into the future, so be it. He determines that the time together with his beloved would be better spent enjoying it then wallowing on the inevitable.

Taking all his energy, he raises his hand to cup Alexander's face and places a soft kiss if only to remind him he was still there. They stare intently at each other, both wanting to say more. But when had words been necessary between two who share the same mind, heart and spirit. The trance is broken, when the royal physician enters the tent to examine his patient. The road to recovery had now begun.

000

_Several days later, Back at the King's Tent_

Hephaestion settles down by a nearby couch. Although he is exhausted from the day's events, he feels renewed and appreciative for his rapid recuperation from his recent illness. He now sits and watches Alexander pace frantically throughout the royal private chambers. Hephaestion signals for the page nearby to pour the wine. During moments such as these, it is best to have the King attain a level of clarity before the next step or word can be taken. But to do this is to allow the King a way to release all his pinned up anger and frustration. As soon as the page fills the goblets, Hephaestion instructs him to leave the decanter and dismisses the page along with the others out of the King's chamber. He informs them to allow nobody in for any reason. Hephaestion then rises from the couch and slowly approaches the King. He then reaches out with a goblet and states;

"The executions were necessary Alexander", he begins. "The satraps and military governors have been abusing their powers and conducting themselves contrary to your rule".

"It was necessary to make them an example" retorts Alexander as he gulps down the wine and motions for more. "I will not be made a fool… this is my empire. Perhaps it is time to make a change."

Hephaestion raises his brow and looks quizzically at his King. "What change… for what?"

However, Hephaestion has had his preconceived notion of Alexander's statement. Change to Alexander was usually a direct response to his lack of trust to those closest him. Not since the execution of Philotas and his father, then later with Plot by the Pages, has he seen Alexander hell bent on reconstructing his army and/or his empire. How strange to think of Philotas and Parmenion. He has not thought of them for many seasons. Hephaestion had always respected the old crusty Parmenion. However, he had never been fond of Parmenion's son, but he had always looked to him to be a strong Calvary general. Philotas had been Hephaestion senior commander when they had left Pella and entered into their first battle at Grancius. As he raises the unmixed wine to his lips, he laughs quietly at how simple life had been, before Grancius.

0000

_The Battle of Grancius: _

"Being the King's whore does not make you a warrior" barks Philotas. "You would do more if you stayed with the camp followers if you are going to hold your spear like a woman".

Riding around the makeshift training grounds of Alexander mobile army camp, Hephaestion tries to dismiss Philotas comments and aims his spear at the wooden target located at the end of the horse way. With a firm grip on the center shaft, Hephaestion pulls his arm back and focuses at the red marked circle. He releases the wooden spear and hits dead center on the mark. Then riding at full gallop he pulls out from his sheath, his xiphos and swings and slices off the targets hanging off from the nearby trees. He repeats this exercise several times along with his cavalry battalion.

To Hephaestion, these training exercises are but a game to him. His father raised and groomed horses and thus his whole life had evolved around with riding and training with horses. However, battle maneuvers and war did not become a factor of his life until he had met his Alexander. Although his father fell in battle, he had never allowed himself to be dissuaded. Rather, he trained vigorously with Alexander at Mieza to fight as a warrior for the honor of his homeland, and his family. He had never allowed Alexander to win any match unless it was fairly on his own. But for Hephaestion, his true purpose for training was to be there to protect his prince and his future King. Since meeting Alexander, his life coincided with that of his beloved.

Philotas did not relent on his mockery of Hephaestion, disregarding his obvious battle skills. On many occasions in the presence of Alexander, he would make a conscious attempt to humiliate and ridicule Hephaestion in any possible way. There was no limit to his contempt and jibes may it be to attack Hephaestion riding abilities, lack of fighting experience and relationship with the king.

"Perhaps we should keep you with the women camp followers" laughs Philotas. But before he is able to jab Hephaestion any further, his attention is turned to horsemen galloping towards him.

Perdiccas and Ptolemy approach the squadron. Ptolemy shouts, "The King has called a war counsel. He wishes to attack at soon as possible". He turns as Hephaestion rides along side him. "He wants all the commanders to attend. AND Hephaestion, the King wishes to see you immediately" as he gives a mocking smile.

"Of course" hisses Philotas, "Now you can put your real skills into use".

"Keep your comments aside" snaps Perdiccas. "Should Alexander hear such gossips through the camp, he surely would have your head. He will not tolerate such insolence from his commanders".

Before another word is spoken, Hephaestion immediately rides at full cantor towards the King's tent.

Having reached the royal pavilion, he swings off his horse, and hands the reigns to a nearby groom. He strides into the entrance without a second glance to the guards and finds his King standing over a large wooden table examining his miniature layout of the battleground. Hephaestion stands opposite of Alexander and stares down at the spread out battle plan. Immediately he notices the Macadonian army is laid out in formation with the Greek phalanx set out in sections primarily in the center with the Thracian archers staged in the back rows. He then recognizes the companion cavalry situated bilaterally on the far sides of the infantry. Alexander had sent out his scouts on reconnaissance missions to gather information as to the layout of Darius' army. Thus, Hephaestion knows, the miniature statutes reflect how King Darius army has situated itself to attack against the Macadonian army. He notes the Great King has made the error to situate its cavalry in front of their own infantry with their leader's chariot located right in the center, an easy target. He smirked knowing even a child would be able to see how this would play out. Hephaestion is fully aware of Alexander's belief that, the companion cavalry was the hammer while the phalanx was the anvil. It was a battle plan they had played as children and used at Chaeronea. This battle plan meant the phalanx would hold the enemy in place, wherein the companion cavalry would attack on the flank or from behind the enemy. But what feared Hephaestion was his knowledge that his beloved would lead the charge across the river to personally claim his victory.

"I will attack immediately" Alexander voice carries with confidence and pride. He looks up with dark eyes reminding Hephaestion of the face of the great Ares with fire and strength set a blazed by Artemis. "They will be caught off guard".

"Yes, your men are ready" answers Hephaestion. "We can move immediately".

"Parmenion will need to hold the left and as soon as Darius reinforces his men, I will ride up to attack the center". The King continues, "I need Parmenion to hold the left and if all goes as plan, the left will create a hole and the "hammer" will crush and destroy Darius".

"You will have your victory my King" smiles Hephaestion. "The Gods have sent their sign of approval. I have seen the great eagle from Zeus flying over the battle site. "

"When have you been a man of signs" laughs Alexander breaking the seriousness of the moment and slowly walks around the table towards his companion.

"I love the son of Zeus or was it Amman? – regardless, you are a son god blessed and destined for greatness." smirks Hephaestion. "Don't come too close, I fear that a bolt of lighting may strike as proof of your power"

"Ah should you mock your King on the eve of battle?" counters Alexander.

Suddenly serious, Hephaestion quickly straightens, "NEVER! My Alexander!! I would never question your glory…your dream". He then reaches out and grabs in fiercely to embrace his lover. He takes in the smell of him and strokes out the small blond curls linger over his shoulder. He looks into his dark eyes and sees the strength of the army and all the gods built up in them. He shudders at the conviction in Alexander's stare. With his hand settled in the nape of his lover neck, he draws him in and takes in a soft kiss. But his King wishes complete dominance of the moment and pulls him in closer, hungrily licking his lips and demanding entrance. The fever of their desire sparks them into needing more from each other. Hephaestion feels Alexander's hands move down his back grasping to gather his chiton to remove it over his head. His eagerness is so desperate; Alexander begins to rip his lover's clothing off. The King then leads his lover to his chamber never ceasing their hold of each other. They finally break apart as they struggle to undress themselves without further haste. Suddenly, Alexander trips over his own feet and stumbles down towards the floor.

With an evil grin, Hephaestion looks down at his lover and slowly straddles onto Alexander's lap, who is now sitting up leaning on the bed. "Hmm… was this your battle plan to draw me in so you can attack without notice. I see you have raised your catapult aimed towards creating a hole to gain entrance?"

"I will have my victory…. scorns the King as he pushes Hephaestion beneath him swinging his arms above his head holding them down. He stares into the Cerulean eyes reflecting back at him. It never ceases to lure him into these bright and beautiful eyes. They are the gateway to his lover's inner being. His lover, who throughout the years they have been together, has never given less then complete and unconditional love to him. He is unable to grasp the power of his eyes and grabs his lover face diving in for a deep kiss. As Alexander starts to move towards his lover chest, he suddenly hears voices coming into the war room…

"Philotas, I urge you, we need not disturb Alexander on this matter" utters Seleucus "There is a meeting to be held shortly… we should leave"

"He needs to be aware… made to be reasonable …he should heed to my father's advice to attack at dawn" responds an anxious Philotas, who is looking down at the miniatures laid out before him. "He plays as a child with their toys" pointing down at the figurines.

"You should watch yourself" warns Seleucus "You need not..." but before he could state another word, the King enters the room obviously annoyed by the presence of the unannounced visitors.

With his arms crossed over his chest, Alexander stares at his two companions as if measuring out their worth. He then directs his question to the taller and lanky man. His dark eyes and blond hair makes him a quiet mystery among his peers from Mieza. Yet, Alexander knows his skills in the phalanx are invaluable. Seleucus is a warrior and fierce on the field. But as a man off the field, he is logical and levelheaded. Philitos on the contrary is slightly shorter with lighter tones in his features. He is sunburned and his blond hair reminds the King of an untamed tiger. Philotas is vicious and the sole leader of his Companion Calvary. But he is also quick tempered and reacts on impulse regardless of the consequences. Philotas is a military man and like his father. Alexander has come to rely on their battle skills on the field. However, ignoring Philotas, the King turns to Seleucus, furious, "What is so urgent that it cannot wait for the war counsel?"

Philotas steps forward, as Seleucus tries to hold him back. "General Parmenion has urged you to wait until tomorrow at dawn to attack Alexander! Our scouts have confirmed Darius army has been here for several days. They are well rested and armed for battle…"

Alexander cuts him off, "Do you think I am not aware of this?

"I only merely wish to remind you of the facts. Give your army time to fully organize and set up for a battle at DAWN" replies Philotas with indignation. His attention is then drawn to the tall figure emerging out of Alexander's private quarters. Hephaestion comes into full view and stands in the background of Alexander.

"Ah Hephaestion" snarls Philotas, "Perhaps you can finally prove useful – YOU could use your battle skills to keep our King occupied until dawn".

Enraged, Hephaestion quickly jumps forward ready to lunge at the audacity of this despicable little man to again try to mock him before his King. "You should hold your tongue in the presence of YOUR King" he yells. "If you cannot than I shall have the pleasure of cutting it out to remind you of your place you little…" Before Hephaestion takes another step, Alexander reaches out to hold him back.

"ENOUGH" screams Alexander. Approaching Philotas face to face, and bellows out "I rule this army and we will attack immediately. I suggest you end this driveled behavior and gather your men and see to that they are ready and organized. I will meet you all at the war counsel. You are both dismissed" He then waves them out without a second glance.

"One more thing, Philotas!", snarls Alexander without turning to face the leader of the cavalry, "You will stay OUT of my personal affairs and should I hear you ill speak me again, I will have you sent to the cross. And… another thing, Hephaestion is no longer a member of your squadron. He will now ride as a member of my royal bodyguard." Hephaestion turns immediately at his King shocked and before he is able to say a word, Alexander raises a finger of silence.

"Yes my King", bows Philotas not daring to raise his eyes. He then steps out of the tent to gather his men.

The Battle of Granius went as according to the Alexander's plan. His strategy to attack immediately had taken the Persians unprepared to counter and defend an attack. They were simply too inexperienced and lacked the heart to fight against a well trained Macedonian army who loved their King. Parmenion had successfully held the left phalanx and Alexander was then able to lead his companions in a wedge shape assault upon Darius center. He had seen an opening and Darius army soon began to crumble and scatter in cluster weakening their defenses. The King was victorious not only had he killed several high-ranking Persian noblemen; but he had accumulated a significant amount of wealth to sustain his army forward towards the Asian coast. However, the day did not come without its costs. Alexander had ordered the execution of hundreds of Memmon of Rhodes Greek mercenaries, even after they had bartered for peace and the day had almost cost the life of their dear King.

With a chill riding up his back, Hephaestion can still recall the vision of Alexander fighting against the nobleman, Harcartas; when he had also caught sight of Spirthridates racing towards the King on his right flank. Hephaestion spurred ahead screaming at Alexander. But he had been caught up and stopped by several Persian infantrymen swinging their swords at his horse. He had tried to keep his eyes on King as he fought off the enemy. It was at that moment, he saw Spirthridates swing his ax down at Alexander knocking him off his horse. Hephaestion again screamed out desperately trying to push himself forward. It was at that moment, an ax was swung against this thigh. It had felt as if time stood still. He felt helpless as he watched Spirthridates swing his horse around ready to give the final blow at the stumbling King. Then suddenly with the speed of Zeus' lightening and out of the depths of the battle, rides into view, the strong and brave Cleitus the Black, who races towards Alexander to severe the head of Spirthridates. Alexander then regains himself and with the aid of Cleitus, remounts his horse to enter back into the battle.

This battle would be one of many in which Hephaestion would witness his King time and time tempt the fates of the gods. But this had also been the battle in which Hephaestion would take a silent oath with the Gods that he would exchange his life for his beloved if only to save him in battle; and also resolved that he would never leave his side again.

After the Battle of Granicus, Philotas never eased on his personal assaults against Hephaestion, but this was always done in his presence alone and never in the earshot of the King. Throughout the campaign, Hephaestion would come to despise him for his inability to accept the "Alexander's New World"; yet respected the man's battle skills. He had never felt any real hatred or wish any harm towards Philotas until he was accused as a main conspirator in a plot to kill the King, his beloved, his Alexander.


	2. Chapter 2 Execution of Philotas

**Chap 2**

Hephaestion's attention is brought back to the present as he hears his name called out.

"Hephaestion!!" Phai!" A loud battle call comes across from the other side of the room. Hephaestion turns to follow the thunderous sound in time to duck a half eaten apple from hitting his head.

"What are you doing Alexander? Giving a small self mocking smile, "Do you not believe you have not taken off enough heads today?"

"Where have your thoughts taken you? Have you not heard a word I've said?", growls Alexander as he walks towards him, "I swear by the gods Phai, you may be a great logistic and general, but of late you have had the attention span of a gnat! Or do I simply bore you?"

Now standing over him with a look of bewilderment and a shadow of annoyance, Alexander inquires again, "Well? Perhaps you would rather be somewhere else? Or maybe you would rather be with SOMEONE else?"

"What? Come now Alexander these little games of jealousy are beneath you!! I would have thought we had outgrown these silly thoughts?" Hephaestion rises gently pushing aside the King to walk towards the wine decanter for another cup of wine.

He turns gesturing to Alexander an offer to refill his cup. Alexander steps over and hands his cup.

"You are right. These recent events with the satraps and governors have clouded my mind with suspicions and madness." Responds the exhausted King, as he takes the cup of wine. "And this heat – by Hades balls this blistering sun is beating out my mind even further.".

"Alas", smiles Hephaestion, "As you have said before, my Great King, 'Remember upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all."

"Hmph" The King then turns away and waves his hand as if to clearing the air of the words.

Hephaestion watches as the king removes his tunic and meander towards his couch. As he stares at his bear chest lover, he cant help but be reminded of the powerful Herkales, with his well chiseled muscles and broad shoulders. How smooth his tan skin shimmers with the sweat of his body and the golden locks that reflect back the sun's rays. Even with the large scar of the Mallian arrow engraved onto his lover's upper chest, it only magnifies the masculinity and strength that exudes from him. Hephaestion slavers at him as he stumbles onto his couch, amazed at himself at how stricken he still is by Alexander's beauty after all these years. He raises his cup of wine never taking his eyes off his god. He reclines back taking in the sudden silence and relaxes himself calling into memory the day the King "bore himself" to his counsel of his companions. He recalls it was the day of Philotas' execution.

Again, Hephaestion recalls the day Philotas betrayed his King.

_Execution of Philotas- 330 BC_

Hephaestion was unable to contain his trembling hands. He sat anxiously shifting side to side to try to find some comfortable position on the couch. He faired no better than his king, who now ceased his fever pacing and muffled growling and now stood with his back against his desk intently concentrating on something inanimate on the wall.

Their attention was finally deflected to the tent flap as Cleitus and Perdiccas entered into the antechamber. Cleitus could be seen whipping the grime from the blood and dried skin splashed on his face.

They stood at attention focused at neither Hephaestion nor their King. Alexander pushed himself from his desk with a look of contempt, as if readying himself for one of his old tutor, Leonides' beatings, and stared at his generals. Alexander would not have trusted any other with this delicate task. As he looks at them, he cant help but notice they are the polar opposites in their features, skills and character and; yet they were steadfast loyal to their king. They were as different as night and day. Cletius is the epitome warrior. He stands tall with dark eyes and dark wavy hair. This old veteran of his father's guard has never lost his beauty from years past. In Alexander's army, Cleitus is by far his most vicious and toughest warrior. His loyalty to Alexander was unquestionable. It is no wonder his father was so fond of this man. Perdiccas on the other hand, was a golden vision with his blue eyes, golden tan and sandy blond hair. He was strong built and fearless. It was no wonder he was very popular with the men, he was the camp "charmer". From the all the youths from Alexander's days at Meiza, Perdiccas was one of the smartest and devoted; but he was also one of the biggest "tease" to both men and women in and around the camp, second only to Ptolemy. Yet, underneath Perdiccas' alluring personality also lays a cold and calculated killer. He can brandish both a sword and spear as if it was an extension of his own body. In the heat of battle, Perdiccas was untouchable. Even more importantly, Perdiccas had long supported Alexander in his conquest of Asia openly accepting and engaging in the cultural integration.

As if to break the tension in the air, Cleitus steps forward, "My King, Linnaeus has spoken out the details of the treacherous plot to have you murdered. He has implicated several pages and guards including some who are a member of your personal escort. The pages have collaborated to the plot and…. "

"What... who among the guards have been identified" blurts Hephaestion as he steps towards Cleitus. The old general stares down at the King's lover. Although he would never openly agree with their relationship; he in fact personally understood it. He has long sit aside the vicious rumors that Hephaestion was a mere sycophant to the King; rather instead viewed the young man as the voice of logic and reason to the young King's at time irrational and ill-temper character. He saw this young beautiful Hipparch as the nail that held Alexander down to reality, when their King's dream pushed him to far from himself and from his army. Cleitus was all too familiar on the joys and heartaches of loving a king.

"General Amyntor.. be calm. Let the man finish his report. And sit your arse down" as Alexander waves Cleitus to continue on.

"The pages Linnaeus, Hector and Damion have confessed that they were aware of the plots told to them by the guards. Linnaeus has given great detail of what his lover, Deleon had confided to him. The plan was to have you, Alexander, killed on the night of the Dionysian festival. Your guards, led by Deleon, were to surround you during the performance and carry out their deed as you sat watching the play." Cleitus pause gauging his King reaction, determining whether his life was to be threatened, as it was known to the army of Alexander's quick temper and even faster ability to sheath his sword as a result thereof.

Taking Cleitus' silence as his cue to speak, Perdiccas steps forward and proceeds with their report.

"My King, the pages have implicated Lycurgus and Aniketos along with Deleon as the guards set out to strike the fatal blow to murder … you. We have already gathered these men." He then hesitates, stares up to his King and continues, "Also, my King… a "companion, a peer" of your cavalry guard has also been implicated".

"WHO!!" screams Alexander unable to retain any sense of self-control. At once, he grabs hold of Perdiccas chiton. "WHO among my trusted friends has betrayed me?" The King is breathing heavily into his general's face with both tears and anger seeping through his voice and shaking body.

Without the apparent flicker of fear, Perdiccas looks down at his King and answers out "Sire, it is Philotas, the leader of your companion cavalry."

The King steps back as if stricken by an arrow. He takes in the shock of the realization that one of his eight childhood friends would wish him dead. Then suddenly the realization sets in that Philotas throughout his reign as King has been a constant thorn on his side openly disagreeing with his Asian Campaign and his relationship with Hephaestion. He had failed to see the signs of malcontent.

Infuriated Hephaestion screeches out, "Are you sure, Philtos? I should have known, for weeks now he has become more vocalized about his discontent and vexation towards our pursuit of Bessus and most recently Alexander's marriage. Where is he Cleitus? I will have this man's head." Hephaestion is unable to contain any decorum.

Cleitus in trying to calm the man before him places his hand on his shoulder. Placidly as if a father comforting his son, "Philotas has been taken under guard in his tent. His weapons and pages have been collected. Of course he has denied any involvement or knowledge of this plot against Alexander. But we have him by the balls Hephaestion. We have him!!"

Hephaestion shrugs off Cleitus hands, ignoring his reassurances, "We will need to question him immediately. We must ensure there are no other conspirators involved lingering in the shadows still intent on carrying out this treacherous plan."

"The camp has been sealed" responds Perdiccus. "Under no circumstance, will any man, woman, child or animal be allowed in or out of the camp. Both Ptolemy and Nearchus had taken charge of these duties. We are secure."

"Cleitus and I are prepared to go and question Philotas immediately…"

"No!" exclaims the king. "You both have been up all night and have proven diligent in your duties my friends. You need to rest. I will have Crateus and Coenus carry on with this arduous task."

"My King" pleads Cleitus, we are more than capable to …"

Alexander cuts him off, "Go and rest. I will need you again soon enough." He then waves them out.

As the generals head out of the tent, Hephaestion turns to the King. Just as he fears, but nonetheless expected, he observes Alexander's trembling hands and dark eyes. Hephaestion recognizes the madness consuming his lover. Alexander's "Daemon" is slowly overriding his lover's mind and body. He will soon be acting out on instinct and lost to his need to thwart the situation at hand. It is this very "Daemon' that drove Alexander into action at Thebes, at Tyre and in the gardens back at Pella. Hephaestion knows that he must divert his King away from the darkness of his mind, and lure his lover back to him – back to reality.

Hephaestion straightens out and prepares himself for the ensuing battle to reclaim his lover. He turns to him and informs his King, "I will also take part in questioning Philotas".

As if recognizing Hephaestion presence for the first time, Alexander responds, "What? No! Phai! I cannot have you involved".

Before Alexander retorts another word, Hephaestion snaps. "I am ALREADY involved. Philotas for years has mocked you in your pursuit of Asia, Darius and us."

"I say NO!!" screams Alexander as he grasps for some shadow of reason. "Your involvement in his torture may be looked upon as self motivated and may later raise questions as to the validity of Philotas' guilt."

Shoving Alexander back, "Do you question my loyalty and valor as your general and friend? Have I given you any grounds to question your trust in me?" snaps Hephaestion.

Reaching out to place his hands on Hephaestion shoulder, as if to steady his rage quickly building up and blinding all his senses, he looks up at his lover, "Of course not Hephaestion! But we both know that since Grancius, you have carried a deep seeded hatred towards Philtoas. The animosity you hold towards this man has been apparent. Moreover, as Senior Hipparch you stand next in line to lead the companion cavalry. I cannot wish for your involvement if only to ensure to the army that you have not acted for personal gain."

Seizing the opportunity to strike, he shoves Alexander away. "Hades balls Alexander!! This plot and Philotas involvement of course is personal… for I too am Alexander. You cannot ask me to idly stand back and step aside. I must be given reassurance for your safety and given quarter to punish those who would jeopardize this. By all the Gods Alexander, they tried to kill you and take you away from your dream, your army and ME!!"

He looks across at Alexander feeling the harsh glare and sensing ever more his lover's Daemon overtaking him. Yet, he pushes forward. "Had I been killed in battle or had my own life been put to a threat, would you not want revenge – justice as Achilles had sought for Patroclus' death at Troy?"

Alexander's expression hardens at his lover's gull to make him out as a failed comparison to the myths of his ancestor. "How dare you question me!! You know more then others; I am nothing without you Hephaestion! I would turn every stone throughout this god forsaken region to seek my revenge. BUT this is NOT about ME!!" He shoves Hephaestion down incensed by his lover's constant lack of faith in their love and to his own devotion to "his" Patroclus.

"Must I remind you again Hephaestion, AS KING, my integrity and purpose will not be put into question. BUT rather your involvement in this will give credence for others to question your status in this army. Should Philotas be found guilty, supporters for his cause may rise and try towards you for their revenge!"

The punch hits Alexander hard and fast. He stumbles back and falls onto the ground, he looks up to Hephaestion standing over him with his fists clenched ready to charge.

"To Hecate tits" screams Hephaestion. "You know the laws of the Macedonian army. The men will decide Philotas faith not I. Your men will determine whether Philotas is found guilty. What's more, my GREAT KING" in a tone of indignation, "Crateus and Coenus will be in attendance and they along with the other guards will witness and partake in the torture."

Wiping the blood from his lips, Alexander glares with vexation towards Hephaestion. His wrath engulfs him brought on by the compounded rage towards Philotas' betrayal and Hephaestion's stubbornness. Swiftly and with the force of the furries, he rams into his lover folding him onto the floor. The punches, the blows and the kicking consume them. They are overtaken by their emotions knocking and breaking any and everything within arms reach. With amazing strength, Alexander straddles Hephaestion onto the floor hitting him blindingly not recognizing that it is lover receiving the blows. But Hephaestion takes on the frontal attack refusing to reciprocate the punches, using his hands only to deflect the battery ram of Alexander's fists repeatedly aimed at him.

Alexander is screaming in blind fury. "I am the KING!!"… "Who am I to trust now?"… "Will you soon betray me?" "By the Gods I……"

The siege against Hephaestion is finally contained as Crateus and Coenus rush in pulling apart the King from atop the general.

Coenus is scarcely able to hold Hephaestion up as he guides him to the nearest couch. Coenus has fought in many battles and has seen the casualty of war through the death and anguish of his very own men. Yet the sight of Hephaestion tears him apart. The beautiful general looks as a ragged doll ripped to shreds by the dogs of Hades. Hephaestion is covered in blood. His right eye is quickly sealing shut, his lips are torn apart and his chest is covered with bruises and scratches. His whole body is turning various shades of black and blue. In the corner, Coenus watches as Crateus tries to settle the King down. The King is slumped in the corner of the tent, shaking and mumbling incomprehensibly. But suddenly, as if awoken from a nightmare, the King finally recognizes the form being held up by Coenus. With a burst of urgency, Alexander quickly kneels to the side of his beloved. With a look of shame and confusion, he yells out to other generals, "Leave us!! Now!!"

Coenus looks down at the barely conscious general who acknowledges with a nod, reaffirming to his fellow companion that he will be safe with the King.

Alexander slowly takes in Hephaestion as if he was a precious porcelain doll and tries to catch his breath.

"Hephaestion!! Why did you make me do this to you?", cries Alexander as he rocks him in his arms.

Hephaestion sits quietly. He struggles to pull himself up. Contrary to how he may actually look, he convinces himself that this was not as bad as previous encounters with Alexander's Daemon. He manages to sit up on the couch as Alexander desperately tries to examine the damage.

But Hephaestion pulls slowly away and reaches out to place his hand on Alexander face. "I am fine. It is but a few cuts and bruises". He places a soft kiss as a sign of reprieve for his lover's obvious tormenting heart.

Alexander offers a faint smile as if to reassure his lover he understands. "I am sorry….again" he murmurs. "But Hephaestion, you do not need to always make yourself my kicking dog. I am capable of handling myself... I can find other outlets to clear my mind. I know my Daemon resides in me but I cannot use you like this."

"My love, it was my foolishness that made me press forward my persistence to be involved in Philotas' torture, it was I who set you off, nothing more" responds Hephaestion, with his eyes towards the ground.

He looks down at his brave lover and places a gentle soft kiss on his lips. He pulls aside a strand of hair then allowing his hand to cup his face. Softly he sighs, "I know your games Hephaestion. We are no longer boys…. He pauses and embraces his lover, "Just the same, I will heed to your request, should it be your true desire. I trust you will do what is necessary to find the truth and uncover Philotas' involvement."

He pulls Hephaestion's back and stares intensely towards him, "But know these are delicate matters which not only implicate Philotas but his father". The King then takes his hand to wipe the blood sliding down Hephaestion's nose. "Go and clean up my love. I will talk to Creatus and Coenus and apprise them of the severity of this situation."

As if rejuvenated by the Gods with a second breath of life, Hephaestion lifts himself off the couch, holding back any notion of discomfort. Briskly, he walks towards the tent's flaps when he hears Alexander from behind.

"I want you to report back to me once it's over. And Hephaestion, I truly do love you!"

As if basking in the glory of victory, Hephaestion stands a brief moment smiling to himself before taking his leave.

0000

The torture of Philotas was gruesome and unmerciful. It was at this night, Hephaestion discovered his own personal daemon. Filled with contempt and resentment, he was unable to contain the hatred he felt towards the impudence of this man to think he could actually take his Alexander away from him. The moment becomes surreal with emotional rage dictating his actions. As he personally wields the knives and slashes the whips upon the former cavalry leader's body, he finds satisfaction that he will finally see the destruction of this man. As the night progresses, his wish becomes simple, he will see to it that Philotas and all the others dies for their involvement in the plot. He barters no exception and bestows no mercy. Hephaestion even find himself laughing at Philotas' plea that his own guilt was nothing more than plain ignorance in not believing the other guards' intention of killing the King as genuine.

"You are an impenitent fool if you think I will accept your plea." snide Hephaestion, "You still knew of the plot and yet withheld revealing it to anyone. For that you are as much a part of this deceitful plan as those who carried the very dagger aimed at our King."

The torture went on all night and for every pain inflicted by Hephaestion it had served as both a release of his rage and for his own daemon.

Towards the end, a confession was made and by early morning, Hephaestion made his way back towards the King's tent.

As Hephaestion entered the tent, he saw Alexander was up and being tended to by his pages for the morning sacrifices. Upon seeing his general's arrival, the King immediately dismissed the pages and grabs for two cups of wine. Alexander holds back his astonishment at Hephaestion's poignant demeanor as he enters the tent. Never, not even from their previous battles, has Alexander witness his lover covered with so much blood and grime. Truly, Hephaestion had looked as if he had returned from the very depths of Hades. All was done for the sake of ensuring _his_ life and _his_ safety.

Unable to find any words, Alexander offers a cup of wine. Ignoring the King's offer, Hephaestion steps pass him to the water bowl intending to wash off the remnants of the torture. He was simply exhausted. The need for revenge and hatred had drained his body and mind of his energy. As he hung over the bowl trying to regain his composure, he gradually feels Alexander wrap his arms around him to bring him in. Initially, Hephaestion had wanted to pull away, but the warmth of Alexander's body and the comfort he brought kept him still. Reaching around his lover, Alexander takes the wet cloth and turns Hephaestion to face him. Slowly he wipes the splattered blood off Hephaestion's face and leans over with a soft kiss to his forehead and whispers, "Let me cleanse you my love. Allow me to bring you back to me". Hephaestion stands frozen staring at his lover, lost for words or for any thoughts at all. He feels the gentle caresses of the warm cloth and water trickle down his face to his neck and to his chest. He closes his eyes and immerses himself into the moment. He tingles at the touch of Alexander's warm hands pulling back his hair washing it through with the cloth. Slowly his chiton is removed. With each pin unfastened, a kiss is placed on his shoulders. Again, Alexander wrings the cloth into the water and new warmth is spread across his arms, his chest and down to his thighs. The slow strokes of the Alexander hands down his stomach and his legs awaken him. Suddenly, he feels the warm cloth wrapped gently upon his growing arousal. The sensation of the touch of and the heat against him makes him moan with desire. Then he feels Alexander's soft lips kiss upon him; taking him whole. Hephaestion feels the strength of Alexander's tongue swirl around him and leans forward wanting to feel more. But as soon as it began, his lover withdraws. Hephaestion moans at the sudden lost.

Slowly, Alexander makes his way up with soft kisses onto his lover's chest, his neck and his lips. The kisses on lips are hard and deep and Hephaestion welcomes it. He grabs hold of Alexander and desperately pulls off his chiton. His need to feel his lover against his skin overwhelms him. He tears off the pins and throws Alexander's chiton across the room. Alexander slowly pulls away and with a small smile whispers "Peace my love. Do not give into such haste."

Disregarding his lover, he retorts, "I need you my love. Please do not forsake me any longer".

Never denying his lover's request, he takes hold of his hand and guides him towards his private chamber never taking his eyes off him. He then resumes kissing him with more passion and fervor pushing him down upon the bed. The need overrides them and they quicken in their pace. Alexander straddles his lover kissing him more deeply as he grabs a hold of his lover's head drawing him in with more aggression. But Hephaestion responds equally. He takes Alexander on using a maneuver from the wrestling days of their youth; he tosses Alexander under him holding his arms against his heads. He nips at Alexander's nipples biting them hard drawing out blood. He rubs against him making the friction between them unbearable.

"I can NEVER lose you Alexander. I will kill anyone who even thinks to try to.."

"I know my love. I am right here. I will always be here."

Not wanting to hear any more. Hephaestion charges forward for a kiss demanding entrance with his tongue. He roams his hands throughout Alexander's body as if to reassure he was alive with him. He then sits up and takes his hand into the nearby bowl of oil and smothers his fingers. He then grabs hold of Alexander's legs spreading them apart then slowly coats him. He places his fingers into him causing Alexander to arch his back and groan. He pushes his fingers in deep pulling in and out gently gauging his lover's reaction. Then he wraps the oil upon himself and carefully pushes himself into his lover. The tightness and warmth as he enters almost causes him to lose it then. The feeling is insatiable. He pushes in harder and gains momentum has he thrust into him faster and deeper. Alexander lifts himself to wrap his legs around his lover drawing him in matching his movement. Hephaestion then takes his lover's arousal and coats it with the oil. He rubs him from the tip down trying to match the motion of his thrust with his hand. They are unable to contain themselves and become lost to their love and passion. Hephaestion lets loose first, and upon feeling the quick contractions of his lover's muscles, Alexander releases thereafter.

Together they collapse into each others arms trying to regain their composure and catch their breath.

Slowly they untangle themselves and without any further words exchanged, they snuggle close together. Oblivious to the world around them including the recent events, they allow for Hypnos to take them and they sleep soundly into the early afternoon.

_The next day, _

With confessions made, the Macedon Tribunal determines Philotas and the pages guilty with treason and without further delay, their executions were ordered. As dictated by the Macedon laws, the traitors were speared through the heart. No funeral rites were given and their shades were disregarded to be bound to walk throughout the land for all eternity.

Subsequently that night a counsel was held by the King's remaining companions. The meeting was solemn absent of its usual trivial bickering, boisterous jokes and heavy drinking.

With a heavy heart, Alexander stands to address his boyhood friends. Although Philotas was not popular among his companions, he had grown up with all of them and had shared the same boyhood memories. Though none of his friends would openly admit it, Philotas' death had hit close to home and the faith of his Parmenion would not be any easier.

As he stares out to his friends, he notices none of them will face him. He gives a deep sigh, he controls himself before speaking.

"We all know what must be done". I cannot allow any of you to carry this burden. I alone must take responsibility for the fate of Parmenion." To those in the room, it was known that Parmenion as the patriarch, it would be expected that his death be warranted. Further, Philotas' confession implicating his father's knowledge of the plot had solidified his involvement and destiny.

Taking a sip of his wine, Alexander continues on, "However, I do not want you to fear in raising any objections to this conviction against Parmenion, if you deem it unwarranted. Or"… The King pauses looking around the room, "Or, if you feel me to be a tyrant, nothing more than a ruthless king with motives outside his duty. If so to either or both, then speak freely my friends. I have always trusted you all the most as my advisors and comrades."

The King glances across the room once again no one rises a brow to face him. He feels his heart sink and a sense of loneliness creeps within his heart. He takes another sip of wine as if to gain some courage. The King then slowly unsheathes his dagger and holds it in his hand. He then walks out into the center of the room and faces to address his friends again.

"We started on this campaign five summers ago with the goal of conquering Asia. You have all known me as your prince, your companion and now your king." He looks up trying to catch any acknowledgment or response. Sensing none, he continues, "if anyone of you feels I have become unworthy to follow as your king then step forward and fulfill your oath and remove me from power. I will not fight it. I am not my father. But know, never had I dreamt of having to kill my very own friends for the success of this campaign, but now it would appear that I have killed one and would soon kill another."

Alexander then loosens his armor and unties his chiton revealing his open chest. He then continues, "Should anyone among you feel I have lost my way or fear I have become a tyrant, a man who was never meant to be king of Asia, then step forward and do your duty and kill me now."

Hephaestion suddenly is paralyzed by Alexander's offer. He feels panic shaking within him. Hephaestion is at a gasps at Alexander's words and instinctively he had wanted to rise from the bench ready to protest. But he had seen deep sadness and darkness swelling in his beloved's eyes. His King stood a defeated man before his companions. It is a look never before seen by Hephaestion or he doubts by anyone else in the room since King Philips' death. Hephaestion begins to feel his heart break and he starts to tremble in fear. But Hephaestion knows he cannot raise a protest because Alexander, the King's honor and valor is at stake. Thus rather than give into argument, he steps forward and stands next to Alexander. He stares out into the men before him and without a word, slowly removes his own armor and unties his chiton. Hephaestion resolves that he will keep his vows and join Alexander to Hades; if this should be their faith. Moments of silence passes and slowly heads turn as Perdiccus rises from his seat to approach the King and the general. He faces Alexander places a kiss on his cheeks and he too stands aside his King removing his armor and chiton. Soon thereafter, Nearchus and Ptolemy join them and before long the whole room is in tears embracing each other and surrounding their king as they did the day King Philip was assassinated.

With a decision made, each man offers reassurances of their loyalty to the King and support in the fate of Parmenion. With the companions leave, Alexander drops down onto a nearby couch exhausted and relieved from yet another strenuous evening. Upon sensing the presence of someone in the room, he looks up and like a beacon of light sees his beloved standing in the corner ablaze with unconditional love and support.

As Hephaestion approaches the king, he grabs a decanter and pours them a cup of wine.

"Well that was quite a bold and brave leap of faith, you demonstrated tonight?" trying to lighten the intensity of the evening. "You were quite a servant of Apollo tonight".

Alexander gulps down the wine whole and looks up at his beloved general standing beside him.

"I guess you too should win a prize. I do not think Thettalus of Cara made a more convincing performance. What is the point of making you second in command if you do not even fight for it. We make a fine pair." smirks Alexander. "Besides, I do believe it was the sight of you disrobing your chiton before the companions, which made them forget the purpose of the meeting. I truly believe I saw Cleitus and Perdiccus eyes bulging out and their groins rise high enough to lift the table."

"Ah how could we fulfill our destinies as Achilles and Patrolous if you get yourself killed first? That simply is not how I recall the story of Homer was written." He was no longer able to contain his laugher. "You are wrong my King, it was not my bare chest they were drooling over, did you not see Crateus lean forward hoping your chiton would drop to the floor in its entirety?

Then with a raised brow, Hephaestion sternly looks down at his lover,

"Still Alexander, I would not suggest you make this a common part of your counsel meetings. If you do it again, I swear by the Gods, I will just stab you myself and write a new story for Homer. I do not think I could take the anguish and the torment of seeing you up there making that type of request again."

"Fear not Phai, I have faith in the Gods. My destiny is to rule all of Asia and I will not rest until it is so". He quickly grabs Hephaestion bringing him down onto his knees before him placing a hard kiss. He then pulls away and smirks, "Now do you think I could get you to disrobe for me or do I need to offer my life for it again?.

00000

_Back at the King's Residence in Susa – January 324_

"General Amyntor!! Where are your thoughts again?" scorns Alexander from his couch. "And why do you have that ridicules smirk on your face?" Phai are you not listening to me again?"

"Yes, your plan to reorganize the army… the execution of the Satraps had been necessary to wield your power…" Hephaestion squirms out a half response.

"I cannot believe you. You sit there looking like a lost deer with this smirk on your face. And you have not heard a word I have spoken".

Hephaestion sighs and rises from the couch and in a mocking gesture bows and sardonically replies, "A 1000 apologizes oh Great King for my insolence." He looks up giving a wink. "Do you wish to have me personally whipped?

Annoyed, Alexander pushes his general flat onto the floor. "Enough of this!! There is something you are not telling me Hephaestion. Since your illness, you have not been the same."

Kneeling down, he cups Hephaestion face tightly. His patience has begun to wean on this man. He senses something is aloof between them; for days he has not been able to uncover the source to Hephaestion's change.

"You have been somewhat distant as of late." asserts Alexander. "Again, I ask is there something or someone distracting you? I have heard rumors of you and a young cavalry companion… you both have been seen spending late nights together."

"Do you mean Aetos?" replies Hephaestion. "Well yes, we have been spending more time … but it..

Before he is able to go further, Alexander straddles atop him and holds him down with all his weight. "I knew it!" screams Alexander. "There is another in your life. Do you love him? Who is he to you?"

"Alexander… wait.. it is nothing.. yes we have kissed but those were days long ago passed… I have no feelings"… pleas Hephaestion trying to explain. "I only love you and want nothing more than to rekindle what we have…"

The bolt of Alexander fist hits Hephaestion above his right eye. Then suddenly another hit to his left cheek. In anticipation of another, he is surprised to feel his lover clash his lips onto him demanding complete dominance. Hephaestion's arms are pinned to the ground and his struggles to free himself become frivolous, as Alexander has positioned his weight securely upon him.

"You are mine! You are mine!" bellows Alexander. "I have told you before Hephaestion, I WILL NOT share you with another."

"Yet you may share yourself openly among others" retorts Hephaestion. "If it is a whore that you wish then call Bagous or your wife. I will not be made to nothing but an object of lust and desire". With all his strength, he moves to the right and manages to throw Alexander off him.

Now hovering above his lover, he spats out, "I only want you Alexander no other. Why cant you see that. Have I not proven that to you time and time again? Does not everything we – I have endured since our youth and this campaign not confirmed my love for you."

Alexander springs up to his feet, facing towards Hephaestion as if ready to challenge a readied assault. Although filled with heartache and disappointment; he had not wanted to fight with Hephaestion again. Hephaestion had spoken the truth. They had again found time to spend together and today, he had only wanted to enjoy each other's company, if only to talk. Yet, the recent events had clouded his thoughts, again he had allowed his anger with the satrap and governors overwhelm him. More importantly, he had allowed his foolish jealously blind him.

Hephaestion catches his breath and wipes the blood dripping down his brow. As if he was able to read his lover's thoughts, "Alexander, I know you are troubled with the recent executions and the conduct of old guard. It too am disappointed with it all. Aside from that, you must understand _My Alexander_, I only want and love you!"

The King feels his heart ache and his anger dissipate. He steps forward and embraces his lover tightly. He looks up and pulls him close kissing him feverishly needing some form of affirmation of Hephaestion's words.

"I have always only loved you Alexander. If my last days were only spent to see and hear you speak I would be but a fulfilled and happy man." Whispers Hephaestion. "For years I feared you would one day cast me aside, so I fought with you to both give us distance and to give you release from yourself. Yet throughout our time together, we have become intertwined by our fates and hearts; I have long ago lost where you started and I where ended." Slowly, he takes his lover's hand and leads him into the private chamber. "Come, let us find ourselves in each other".


	3. Chapter 3 Life with Bagoas

I hope I do a better job with keeping everyone on course with the story's timeline. Please bear in mind that Hephasetion is reflecting back on significant moments during the 10 year campaign that impacted his relationship with Alexander. Also, please be reminded this story flows from Fedia's original story, esp with regards to their time at Mieza ie all the violence in the garden.

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**Chapter 3** – _Life with Bagoas_

_The next morning, At the King's Residence in _Susa – January 324

Hephaestion is awoken to callused fingers lightly tracing the bruise over his right eye, down to the swollen cheek of his face. A smile as bright as the sun glows upon him as he opens his eyes to look at the golden god shining at him. "Alexander did I over sleep. What are you…." before he is unable to utter another word, Alexander tilts in and kisses him passionately and deeply.

The King motions for everyone to leave the room. He then slides over closer to his friend on the bed, "Phai, You are with a slight fever again." whispers Alexander, "Throughout the night you were consumed with a nightmare that I suspect has now left your body drained." Trying to hide his distress, he reaches out to fuss over his lover's pillows, "I had tried to wake you as you called out for me several times during the night. But you were deep in slumber and… You appeared so distraught my love.." Alexander then turns away unable to look down at his lover, feeling completely embarrassed and repulsed with himself, "Perhaps, if I had not pushed you so hard last night," murmurs Alexander, "The damage I have done to your face …. Maybe I am a tyrant."

Alexander drops his head in remorse and utters, "I am sorry for attacking you last night, Hephaestion… I was filled with adolescent jealousy and….. I again allowed for myself to hurt you."

With an endearing smile, Hephaestion reaches out, "I believe it was I who attacked you." As he had resolved, Hephaestion would not share his reoccurring nightmare of his death with his lover. Last night's dream was more vivid. He saw the faithful night he lay bedridden and alone to face death in Ecbatana without his Alexander beside him. He had called out for him over and over again throughout his dream; but his lover was nowhere to be found. Was he to die without his Alexander by his side, without his love? Was he to die alone? Hephaestion believed the foreshadowing dream was bidding him to take hold of his remaining chances of rekindling his love with Alexander. His time was dwindling for he knew that Alexander had planned to move to Ecbatana by Autumn. He reaches up to clasp his lover's cheek, and whispers, "I will always love you!"

"My love, please do not make excuses for me" utters the King brushing his finger over his lover's swelling lips, "I fear that my weakness will be your demise."

Hephaestion stares sadly at his lover too familiar with the pleas for forgiveness being asked, once again, after one of their confrontations. During their years together, although tested, he had never truly doubted the love Alexander possessed and held towards him. Hephaestion knew he had made a personal choice as a student in Mieza to love the man before him unconditionally through all the trials and tribulations of their lives. He would never be able to deny his Alexander, the King, his lover anything nor would he be able to do so if had the choice. His heart and life were molded with his lover that to separate them apart would only kill them. Hephaestion understood that beneath all of Alexander's power, genius, and charisma laid a simple man who happened to be the Great King of the New World. His love for Alexander the man, was pure and surpassed the value he placed on his very own life. Within the depths of his soul, he accepted Alexander for all this traits, for his weakness, his guilt, and his loneliness; but must of all for his strength, his love and trust.

Hephaestion looks up, "I took as much as I gave" as he reaches out towards the bruise over Alexander's brow. "I am afraid I have left you with a bruise from our encounter last night."

"It is nothing" grins Alexander, encouraged by Hephaestion's teasing as an acceptance to his apology. "The others are all too familiar with how we are towards each other. We have been battling each other since our youths. Do you recall the fight we had after our battle in Chaeronea ….after you had told me of your offer to Cleitus?"

"An offer that the old runt of a general denied." Retorts Hephaestion, but with a grin, "I also recall how we made up that night."

Taking his hand to place over his lover's cheek, he leans in, "Still my love, I am sorry for my weakness." He then sits up and sternly looks at his lover as if to scowl one of his foot soldiers, "Regardless, you have become ill again, so I demand that you rest here today."

Ignoring his lover's request, Hephaestion pushes himself up with his elbows prepared to hoist himself from the bed. "That is Absurd" snaps Hephaestion, as he pushes the King back, "I feel fine.. I fee..ell…" Suddenly he is taken aback with the lightheadedness and dizziness of his skull, and is overwhelmed with a wave of nausea building up within him. Instantly, he lays himself back into the bed in hopes that the room would stop spinning. "Perhaps you are right, maybe a little rest will do me well." he sighs.

Having risen from the bed, the King pulls a chair near the bedside closest to his lover, "I have called for my physician to come in on you this morning." informs Alexander, "He will report to me immediately of your condition and will ensure that you remain in bed today."

"Yes my King" replies Hephaestion sardonically. "I will heed to your request, there will be no need to order me."

"Good" replies the King, as he sits taking Hephaestion's hand, intertwining their fingers, playfully rubbing them together. He tilts his head to the side and stares idly at his friend, "I have called for a counsel with Crateus and the other companions after the morning sacrifices. I have decided it is time for a change, I am to send the old guards back to Macedonia."

"What??" questions Hephaestion as he pushes himself up again with his elbows, "Why?"

Alexander gently places his hand on Hephaestoin's chest pushing him down. He then leans his elbows to his knees looking pensively at his lover, "It is time for a change of the guards. The old veterans of my father's army grow tired and notably more adverse to the new ways of my kingdom." He moves a strand of Hephaestion's hair and continues, "I will send about 10,000 of these men under the leadership of Craterus back to Macedonia to replace Antipater. I will order Antipater to return with fresh men back to Babylon."

"I believe it to be a wise decision Alexander" smiles Hephaestion placing his hand over the king's to show his support, "But I fear that these men may misinterpret your good gesture and will bitterly refuse to return home."

Enraged, the King shoves Hephaestion's hands aside and abruptly jumps from his chair knocking it back, "Then I will have them executed" retorts Alexander, "I will look upon any form of defiance by them as absolute treason against their king!!"

Standing over his lover, the King gives a harsh look then pivots to rush towards the doors of his chambers. But before he reaches out for the golden handle of the large doors, he turns to Hephaestion with a smirk, "I will see you tonight….my love… There are a great many things I will want to discuss with you regarding our future plan … for our families. So rest!"

"ALEXANDER" calls out Hephaestion…"ALEXANDER!!"

00000

Hephaestion sits casually back in his chair taking in the panoramic view of the lavishness of the large colorful palace gardens facing the King's chambers. He cuddles the goblet of wine in his hand whirling it around as he allows his thoughts to drift to Alexander's last words. "Future Families?" Hephaestion had run through his mind all the various scenarios to explain his lover's statement. Quietly, Hephaestion had always longed for children and perhaps a wife; but the harshness and ordeals of their 10 year campaign had never allotted any time for such prospects. His life had always been for Alexander's army and kingdom; they were the off springs of their relationship. Yet, he was also very mindful of the King's disappointment in not being able to bear a child with his Queen. The recent death of his first born only created a deeper detachment between Alexander and his estranged wife. The King was well aware of the need for a legitimate heir to carry his legacy and to sustain the unification and stability of his new kingdom. For many years Alexander had eluded the discussion of producing an heir. His mother, Olympias had advocated for a child even before King Philip's death and Old Parmenion had appealed to Alexander before the conquest of Asia even began. Hephaestion smiles to himself realizing that Alexander the King would set in motion only those things in which he wanted to see in full volition and having a child early on in his reign was not a priority. For years, Alexander held on to his mantra by openly professing that "Only sex and sleep makes me conscious that I am mortal". To those who were unfamiliar with Alexander's humor mistook the comment as indifference to his concern in producing an heir or even to sex in general. Hephaestion knew the King's perspective to both notions were absolutely fallacious.

Hephaestion ponders further on Alexander's lingering words. Then it hits him, all of a sudden he recalls a conversation of their youth. He then dismisses the idea as preposterous….but mulls over the idea… when was anything Alexander did or sought after have ever been out of reach without a purpose. Hephaestion abruptly drops his goblet and sits up… had Alexander found sisters for them to marry?

His attention is refocused towards the chamber doors as they open slowly. Without having to turn around, he is immediately made aware by the gait of the footsteps that they were not those of his lover. He turns to find Perdiccas smiling at him as he walks in the direction of Hephaestion near the balcony.

Other than Alexander, Perdiccas was the only other man Hephaestion could truly trust among the companions. Unlike many of Alexander's other peers from Mieza, Perdiccas embraced the cultural integration of the King's new world. As a soldier, he was invaluable for his tenacity and enthusiasm both in the battlefield and as a diplomatic. As a companion, throughout the campaign, Perdiccas has never diminished in his loyalty and conviction in Alexander's vision. Throughout their years together, Hephaestion has grown to appreciate Perdiccas for a friendship that was not based upon any self-gain or preconceived notions. It was the genuineness of Perdiccas' nature that allowed Hephaestion an outlet from Alexander's ever demanding dream. He welcomed Perdiccas' cynical outlook as a welcome distraction from his relentless life with Alexander and did not mind the fact that he found Perdiccas to also be quite attractive.

Furthermore, the King never considered Hephaestion's relationship with Perdiccas as a threat and found their collaborated efforts to be both productive and practical. Their teamwork was useful in deflecting the factions and animosity usually created because of Hephaestion close relationship with the King. As a result of Perdiccas and Hephaestion's "working relationship", they have been sent out together on various missions over the years, to lead out forces against many of the tribes uprising against the Macedonian army and to build new settlements. It was during these missions, such as the trek through India over the Khyber Pass and the march home after the Hydaspes River battle, that these two generals developed a true friendship based solely on respect and admiration of their prospective skills. The consequence of their joint efforts has enabled Hephaestion to exemplify and solidify to the army and to the King his true worth as a leader. In each task assigned to Hephaestion, he has proven time and time again to be effective in leading large contingent forces of Alexander's army through foreign territories and conquering the local hostiles "by force or agreement" without opposition or with little casualties.

"Ah Hephaestion, our great King has deemed it fit that I have the daunting task of checking in on his most precious patient" jokes Perdiccas. "Personally, I welcome this distraction. Alexander appears to have something up his arse this morning. He is on a rampage, apparently set on reorganizing his whole army of 50,000 men in a single day. Word around the camp is the early counsel meeting is to be one filled with surprises."

"As you say, I am but a sick invalid", teases Hephaestion. "Besides you know better than to ask me such things regarding Alexander's intentions in administrating his army"

"Ah huh" responds Perdiccas raising a brow, "I see that you and our King possess similar raccoon eyes today" as he pulls a seat next to Hephaestion. "Another lovers quarrel?" Without hesitation, Perdiccas reaches out to brush his hand carefully against Hephaestion's swollen cheek.

Hephaestion flinches at the touch and turns his attention back to the palace gardens. Staring aimlessly into the morning sky, he utters softly, "It is nothing I cannot handle."

"I know my friend" compassionately replies Perdiccas as he tries to throw a faint smile at his comrade attempting to hide his concern. He is all too familiar with the tumultuous relationship shared between Alexander and Hephaestion. On more than one occasion, he has had the misfortune of witnessing first hand the ferocious treatment and brutality Hephaestion has endured for this love towards the King. To this day, he has been unable to put out of his mind the grim scene of Alexander's sexual assault against their mutual friend in the palace gardens so many summers ago. But perhaps the most vivid of his memory of the King and his general's "relationship" was the violent fight that ensured between them at Laomedon's place, subsequent to the then prince's exile to Molasses. Perdiccas is still unable to comprehend what motivated Pausanias to maliciously inform Alexander of Hephaestion "forced sexual encounter" with King Philip. Sitting back in his chair, Prediccas momentarily closes his eyes and calls to mind Alexander relentlessly inquiring on the details of King Phillip's sexual offense of Hephaestion's body. The young prince was insistent on the particularities of whether Hephaestion cried out, how he took it and whether he bleed. Perdiccas along with Ptolemy were helpless to intervene as the whole heartbreaking incident played out before them. They had been called out to stand watch to bear witness for Hephaestion's "presumed" personal betrayal of the Prince's love towards him.

Perdiccas turns to look at the newly named Chiliarch, and cannot help but admire Hephaestion for his constant courage and loyalty as a warrior and lover to Alexander. Through their relationship, Perdiccas has been offered a small glimpse of Hephaestion's vulnerability. He was simply a man deeply in love; which at times made him defenseless against attacks from those in the army including the King. Perdiccas recognized Hephasestion as an unpretentious man forced to continuously prove his worth as a warrior, and to set himself apart as merely being the King's whore. But lately, what concerns Perdiccas is the subtle changes Hephaestion has been demonstrating. As he stares at the contusion over his friend's brow and the swollen upper lips and cheek; he become suddenly aware of the fact that Hephaestion was allowing his fragility and vulnerability to be made exposed for all to see. It was if he was coming to terms to something in his life, as if he had accepted who he was and how his life was turning out with Alexander. With a gradual feeling of sadness, he takes hold of Hephaestion's hand to give it a soft squeeze and a soothing smile. Though Perdiccas would never admit this; he could appreciate the admiration and love Alexander held for the young general, for silently in his heart he too would have fallen for Hephaestion, had they lived in another life, in another world.

Perdiccas thoughts are broken when he hears Hephaestion inquire him of his newest conquests among the camp. Before he is able to respond, within the shades of the room, emerges a tall dark lanky figure with his eyes fixed to the floor. Both generals look up abruptly to find Bagoas walking towards them with a tray of food and a decanter of wine.

Quietly and unobtrusively the young boy approaches the two men sitting in the balcony. "My lords" a soft and tender voice echoes through the air, "I have prepared some cheeses and bread for your morning meal." Now standing next to the men, Bagoas, with his eyes fixed to the floor, humbly whispers, "I have been instructed by the King to tend to any needs you may have Lord Hephaestion."

Barely acknowledging the presence of the boy, Hephaestion offers a slight glance and nods, "I am fine Bagoas….. Thank you. Please leave the tray. I do not need your services. I will do fine on my own."

Bagoas meekly complies and without ever setting his eyes upon either general slowly steps back into the background. As Perdiccas watches the boy disappear through one of the secret passageways; he wonders to himself how often the young servant had used the pathway while the King was alone in this chamber. He dismisses this thought and turns back to Hephaestion.

"I am still amazed that the _Eunuch_ is still useful in Alexander's Court" states Perdiccas as he grabs a handful of grapes.

"Alexander has his reasons for him" replies Hephaestion. "I do agree with the King that Bagoas has proven to be valuable in teaching him the etiquette of the Persian courts and his service as a courtier to the local ambassadors of these foreign lands has been vital in Alexander's plan for integration." He raises his cup of wine and murmurs under his breath, "The boy is in love with him."

Perdiccas momentarily studies his friend taking in Hephaestion's last comment then shakes out any further thoughts.

"I had always wondered after Babylon how Bagoas was able to remain." casually states Perdiccas, trying to hide his curiosity, " I mean after you left on those missions … and well the distance created between you and Alexander…."

Hephaestion turns quizzically, "You mean to question me now about what happened during my time away from Alexander? You were there!!"

"Well know, but I mean…. ," states Perdiccas embarrassed for his intrusiveness. He tries to explain himself, "I know of your love for Alexander, as we all share; but why have you stayed Hephaestion? We have all borne witness to the damage and violence his dream and temper has inflicted upon you. If you could permit me to be so bold my friend, I have always wondered why did you take him back Hephaestion?"

"You mean why **I **came back?" replies Hephaestion. He slowly rises from the chair and walks towards the balcony railing. Without a second glance at this friend, Hephaestion responds, "Perdiccas you can give me all the logical reasons for leaving Alexander; but ultimately I have no choice in who I love, for the Gods have destined Alexander and me, for our souls to be one. I will always choose Alexander above all others." He then pauses, gives as slight sigh and continues, "When we were boys, I had feared Alexander the King would cast me out as soon as I had served my purpose. Back then, I had expected there to be limits and boundaries to his love for me. When Bagoas entered in our lives in Babylon, I was foolishly convinced I had fulfilled my purpose. It seemed the right time to leave so I did and …" Turning to his friend, "Well we all know how dark those days were for us… for everyone…"

Hephaestion is interrupted when the call of the royal trumpet is heard through the gardens.

"Well it would appear I will soon learn of the Kings grand plans" interjects Perdiccas in disappointment to his sudden departure. "I will report to the King that you are indeed resting and recovering." He steps towards his friend leans in and places a small kiss before whispering, "For myself, Hephaestion, I am truly grateful to the Gods that you returned. I truly believe without you, I do not think Alexander would have survived through this campaign."

Perdiccas turns to grab his goblet of wine and he smiles at his fellow companion, "Perhaps when you are better, we can go for a ride. I understand the region has some spectacular landscapes."

"Of course, Perdiccas. Soon I will be better and we can take that ride", smiles Hephaestion, trying to look enthusiastic.

"And perhaps then you can finish telling me what happened?, inquires Perdiccas.

"Perhaps" replies Hephaestion as he returns his attention back to the gardens.

As he listens to his friend leave the room, Hephaestion walks over to the table to refill his cup and returns to sit back in his chair recalling the day he first arrived to Babylon. The faithful day the young eunuch entered into their lives to test the very essence of their love and change the course of his relationship with his Alexander forever.

00000

_Babylon – Summer of 331 BC_

Alexander had ordered his army to enter the city in battle formation; he was not leaving anything to chance. However, his apprehension was immediately set aside by the enormous welcome he received by the townspeople of the ancient and grand City of Babylon.

The royal blue dragon and golden winged bull facades of the Ishtar Gate stood high on each side of the King, as he entered through a shower of rainbow colored flower pedals. The running sound of the Euphrates River splashing below the city tiles enhanced the dramatic beauty of the ancient city. Flanked by his personal armed guards, Alexander had commanded the spectators to follow at the rear of his army, as he entered the old city on a golden chariot riding towards the royal palace. Hephaestion had been sent ahead of the approaching army to greet Mazeaeus, the former commander of King Darius army, whom the young general had convincingly persuaded to "throw away the Persian right" at the battle of Guagamela. Mazeaeus had agreed in early negotiations to publicly surrender both his family and the city to the Alexander upon his arrival into Babylon. Hephaestion had requested to be sent ahead to ensure that the City be relinquished over without any complications or oppositions.

Mazaeus stood along with his family at the palace steps to meet the young general. The distinguished former commander of Darius royal cavalry welcomed Hephaestion with open arms embracing him as a long lost brother. As Hephaestion approached the heavy dark bearded and long haired commander, he could not help but appreciate the pride and humility that emanated from him. With a brief exchange of words, and as Hephaestion had expected, Mazaeus was both cooperative and accommodating towards abdicating the magnificent city, the heart of King Darus' empire to the New King of Persia. Together they turned to the loud call of trumpets as they stood watching the arrival of Alexander in all his magnificence and splendor.

Prior to entering the City, the young conqueror had insisted that all his companions dress in their best armory and to present themselves with civility and dignity to the conquered people. For Alexander, he wore his golden armor engraved with the Macedonian star in the center surrounded with the symbols of Zeus, Ares and Athena, over a white chiton lined with gold embedded trims. On his head, he wore a golden wreath with matching armlets. As Hephaestion gazed at his lover ride through the crowd, he is reminded of Apollo riding on his sun chariot across the sky, beautiful and glorious.

For Alexander, riding through the city wall surrounded by the sounds of acclamations from the cheering crowd, was nothing less than what he had expected. He was meant to rule Persia; this was in fact his destiny. Although Darius was still alive, he was nothing more than a refugee King on the run. After his second display of cowardice at Guagamela, Alexander knew he was the rightful King to be both feared and loved. As he enters the City, he feels love and recognition being bestowed upon him as the new conquer of Persia. He smiles and waves to his people gleaming with pride that one day, he will integrate the old with the new, and his kingdom will be of an innovative world infused and unified by various cultures, religions and languages. This new world would be ruled by one great and mighty leader, Alexander the Great.

The young king absorbs the moment as he reins the horses pulling his golden chariot into a halt. He looks directly ahead and at once centers his focus not at the approaching grandiose palace but at his friend, his beacon towards his salvation, Hephaestion.

The King quickly jumps out of the chariot to embrace his general to affirm to him the reality of the moment, for nothing in his life was real unless he was able to share it with Hephaestion. This was a day they both had dreamt about.

Exuberant with emotions, the King forgets himself and calls out "Phai" as he opens up his arms to take in his friend. But Hephaestion disallows the King's embrace as he bows down, leading all those present to follow suit.

"My great King" exclaims Hephaestion, "Welcome to Babylon!" He looks up with a solemn expression, "My King please allow me to introduce to you Mazaecus, the former commander of Darius cavalry, and his family, along with the other noblemen of Babylon and their families. Instinctively, Alexander had taken a step forward to raise Hephaestion up, but quickly deciphers his lover's demeanor to be his way of stepping into the shadows once again, to allow the moment to be solely for Alexander, as the King.

"Of course General Amyntor" replies Alexander, as he turns to face the approaching commander dressed in a fine silk green knee length tunic. Mazaecus again bows forward and without lifting his eyes addresses Alexander, "Oh great King, my family and the noblemen of Babylon humbly welcome you."

"Thank you Mazaecus. Your offer and your allegiance are well appreciated," replies Alexander, "Come let us sit aside these formalities and get out of this burning sun. I am parched."

"My King?" replies Mazaecus taken back with Alexander's candidness. "Please allow me to show you the royal palace." Just then the other companions arrive and Alexander allows himself to relax. He casually steps forward to place his arm around Hephaestion's shoulder ignoring the subtle protesting glare emanating from his lover. The new king boldly leans in and whispers, "Come my love lets us take a look at our new home." smirks Alexander, "I understand the King's bed is large enough for us to be lost in for days." Hephaestion is unable to contain a small laugh and playfully shoves the King with his elbow. The young general's mistreatment of the king quickly raises the brows and shock of the nearby noblemen; who place a watchful eye on the pair as they enter the palace doors.

The opulent beauty and splendor of the palace mesmerizes the King and his companions. The vast wealth displayed in the details of the furniture, wall tapestries and carpet excites the young men to their newfound wealth and conquest. The exploration of the royal palace is never-ending with rooms upon rooms adorned with gold and precious stones throughout the décor. Finally, at the end of the long corridors of chambers and living areas, they all reach the King's private section of the palace. At the end of the hall, Mazaecus leads the group of men to a large ornate double door.

"Here my Great King is where you may find the joys of your "palace," winks Mazaecus, as he pulls open the doors to the large open floor filled with beautifully half dressed men and women. "My King this is your harem!"

Alexander rightfully is the first to step in holding tightly to Hephaestion's hand as if uncertain as to what he may find. The rich smell of the gardens and incense overtakes his senses, while the soothing background music lures him in.

The young conqueror is astonished to the beautiful women and men flocking to him. He scans the room taking in the sight when his eyes become affixed to a young boy standing on the top steps conversing silently with those nearby. The boy is stunning with dark brown eyes, pale and delicate skin and long black wavy hair. He reminds the King of a perfect flower upon a bed of weeds. Alexander stares engrossed at the boy and finds himself blushing, when the young eunuch catches the King's attention and returns it with a shy smile. In response, Alexander releases his hand from Hephaestion and slowly walks ahead to ascend the steps in the direction of the young boy. Insensible to Hephaestion's presence, the King rushes over to the eunuch like a moth to a fire.

Hephaestion stands helpless and stunned to counter the King's hasty approach towards the young eunuch. It is apparent to him and to the other companions that Alexander has become smitten by the young boy. Uncertain on how to respond to the embarrassment and annoyance burning through his veins, he steps to the background watching Alexander stand before the eunuch as he is introduced through an interpreter. Hephaestion is powerless to stop his heart from breaking and the forecast of his future place along his lover's side. The fall from love damages more when it come to pass before your eyes. Hephaestion takes all his power to keep his composure and expression blank. All the while his hands are gripped into a tight ball and he feels himself trembling with collective feelings of pain and rage.

To add insult to injury, Hector approaches throwing an arm around the young general, and with a smirk, he turns to look at Hephaestion, "Ah do not look so sad Hephaestion. You must have foreseen this day would come." Hector then bellows out in laughter, "It would appear you will not be keeping our king warm tonight." Before Hephaestion is able to throw his first punch at Hector, Ptolemy steps forward between the young men shoving Hector aside. "You need not worry Hector. You know better than to comment on matters that do you concern you." The older general turns to Hephaestion offering a reassuring smile and leans in, "Ignore him Hephaestion, the boy is naive." The pulls the young general away from view of the King and whispers, "Hephaestion you must know only YOU can reign his heart. All is not what it may seem."

Hector chimes in, "Alas, but he has been replaced Ptolemy" pointing at the eunuch talking to Alexander, "by that young and exotic creature holding our King's hand!" Again, Hephaestion lunges forward causing a small commotion among those standing nearby.

Ptolemy restrains Hephaestion back with both arms, speaking firmly under his breath, "Hephaestion!! Remember who you are and think of those who are watching."

The young general vehemently glares at Ptolemy and shoves him aside. Unable to take in the whole spectacle of Alexander's new found love interest, he hastily leaves the room pushing himself through the dancing bodies bouncing against him. In the hallway, he inquires of the servants to show him his rooms where he can take refuge from his lover's betrayal.

Meanwhile, Alexander scans the room and is surprised by his relief to find Hephaestion nowhere in sight. Ignorantly, the King dismisses any raising concerns that he may have inflicted on his lover; rather opting in his confidence that Hephaestion would understand. And why not, reasons Alexander, is he not the Great King of Persia, why should he not be able to reap in the awards. He ignores any further thoughts and continues on with his introduction with the young boy, who he has learned calls himself Bagoas.

In his room, Hephaestion lays on his bed overcome with grief and a sudden realization that the day has come when he would have no place in Alexander's heart or his bed. He becomes disgusted with his weakness to contain the tears falling down his check. "What a fool you are" whispers Hephaestion, "You are acting like a self pity woman." He swings his legs off the bed as he walks towards the decanter of wine sitting on the bed stand. He gulps down one cup after another, reminding himself that Alexander as a King would always love selfishly. Their intimacy was never meant to go on; it has already gone beyond all "norms" and exceeded the expectations of everyone else. Hephaestion refills his cup and heads back to sit on the bed, unable to balance himself on his feet. His body is trembling with anxiety and a complete inability to logistically plan his next move. He crumbles to the bed sobbing in agony at the sudden loss of Alexander's love tearing at the seams of his heart, his very soul. Hephaestion overwhelmed with his emotions, curls himself into a fetal position allowing the feelings of loneliness and abandonment to consume him.

00000

Alexander bounces through the corridors thrilled with excitement from the day's event especially with his recent encounter with the eunuch, Bagoas. Initially, he had thought of rushing to Hephaestion's room as if to tell him of his new find; but fortunately realized the lucidity of his presumption that he could share this with his lover.

The King stops in his tracks contemplating as to why he should feel any remorse or compunction. He was the King, he had all the rights and privilege to do as he desires to whomever and whenever he wanted to do so. He was not married to Hephaestion. The King would not be bond to be confined to one person. He was not expected to take on only one wife; so why not more than one lover? Alexander convinces himself of this certainty and brushes aside any culpability for any of his actions.

Alexander reaches Hephaestion's door and without any hesitation enters the room without prior notice. His courage and resolution is overtaken when he finds his lover coiled up asleep in his bed. Cautiously, Alexander walks towards the bed watching the young general struggle with his dreams. The young king sits upon the bed taking notice of the trail of tears lingering down his lover's cheeks. Self-absorbed to his own happiness, Alexander fails to associate Hephaestion's saddened state to his recent conduct in the Harem. Without any further consideration, he slowly caresses the tears away to quietly admire the strong and beautiful facial features of his love. In his ignorance to recognize Hephaestion plight, he leans down to softly brush his lips against Hephaestion, then boldly drapes his arm across his lover's chest bringing him closer to demand a deeper kiss. In his dream like state, Hephaestion subconsciously welcomes the warmth of Alexander touches and tenderness. The passionate kisses and the feel of Alexander's hand roaming down his arm to his thigh up his chiton stimulate Hephaestion's desire. He is lost to his deep sexual hunger and desperation for signs of reassurances of their shared love. Hephaestion becomes aroused. As he feels the King shifting himself atop him lifting his chiton and placing a hold on his erection; he soon finds himself overpowered by the moment. But reality slowly sets in; he begins to have visions of the King and the young eunuch, and the others that make up the Harem. He then envisions himself standing among them. Suddenly, Hephaestion's eyes burst open and the floodgates of doubt and uncertainty engulf him. Was he no different from those in the harem to the King's heart? Was he just one of his consorts? Suddenly, all rationale and logic begin to escape from Hephaestion. The acknowledgment of their years together and their profession of love dissolve, as he saw himself replaced and cast aside from the King's bed by the eunuch. But he was more than a warm body in the king's bed; he was a warrior and general in his army. The moment becomes sublime and a state of revelation takes over Hephaestion, he was worth more! His emotions take a turn and he becomes enraged. Abruptly, he screams "NO" and with a shove of his hands, he vigorously pushes the King off him onto the floor.

"What… Phai?, "What is the meaning of this?, cries out the exasperated King, "Did I hurt you?" as he throws a look of bewilderment and surprise.

"I am sorry my King" replies a distraught Hephaestion, as he sits up from the bed, refusing to look at his lover, "I cannot do this."

"Your King?? …… When have I ever been _your_ king in _our_ bed?" questions a confused Alexander as he pushes himself up to his knees, "You know us to be co-equals when we are alone… here?"

"You are the new King of Persia" retorts the young general, "You can take as you want whenever you wish." He slowly stands to straighten himself and looks austerely down at the king, "But I do not wish to be a whor… I am sorry but I cannot."

Quickly Alexander springs to his feet walking head on to counter his general and with vexation, bawls, "You cannot or you will not?" The rage engulfing through his entire body at the audacity of this friend to think he could ruin his good mood. He stands with his fist clinched with his head tilt as if to predict his general's next move.

Hephaestion steps forward prepared to respond to Alexander's question. "Does it matter? I will not be used as a means to satisfy your sexual pleasures tonight. You can find yourself another as I am sure you have already done so." His breathing quickens as he brace for an encounter with his King.

"I see" snides Alexander, "You would have me kneeling at your feet begging for your petty forms of pleasures." Annoyed, he swings a surprised right punch against Hephaestion upper lip throwing him back to the bed. "By eternal right you are mine Hephaestion and I can choose to take you as I see fit." He glares down at his injured friend taking no notice of the blood flowing out from his lip. Alexander is completely blinded by his rage. He had enough of Hephaestion's antics of having to always fight to prove his point. He resolves to not indulge in another battle. The day had been perfect, except for Hephaestion's wallowing attitude that now led to ruin his glorious mood. There were others, he thought, who would more than appreciate his personal attention. Why should he waste himself on being rejected by one who did not want him. A sense of clarity dawns upon him, and he feels the dark clouds of his daemon pass over. Alexander composes himself and then leans in with one knee on the bed looking down at his lover, and with a mocking smile points his finger sharply against Hepheastion's chest, "You ..are worth ...NOTHING without.. ME!" He then pushes himself off the bed and storms out of the room.

Hephaestion looks up stunned by Alexander's reaction. Before he is able to find any words to respond; he helplessly watches his lover quickly walk out through the bedroom doors. As his emotions settle, the reality of the moment seeps into his soul, had he finally lost his Alexander to the world that he had wanted so badly?

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Alexander sits at the head of the dining couches staring out to his companions and to the noblemen of the city seated nearby. The evening had promised to be an endless celebration in honor of the New King of Persia. The young King calls again for more wine as he motions for the clearing of his table of the various empty cups scattered before him. Early in the evening, Alexander had resolved he would immerse himself into the festivities to forget his anger and infuriation towards his lover's disappointed behavior. Intentionally, he had kept his distance and attention away from Hephaestion, opting to have Ptolemy and Crateus at his side, at the head of the table. The evening progresses in true Macedonian fashion filled with vociferous singing and wild sexual innuendos, until a bell is rung announcing the commencement of the entertainment portion of the festivities.

As several of the candles are gradually taken out, the soft sound of sensual music begins flowing throughout the dimly light grand hall of the palace. Slowly, the room fills up with half dressed bodies swaying and pivoting to the tune and beat of the drums and flutes. The dancers seductively approach the king and the head table enticing each man present with their exposed bodies as they flaunt their skills and perversion among them. Then slowly and gracefully, the dancers move smoothly to the side as the main attraction takes center stage. Bagoas stands alone wrapped only in a small silk wrap and tiny cymbals clasped to the forefingers and thumb of each of his hands. The music takes on a new tempo, as it becomes more sexual and alluring, captivating the attention of the audience to the young boy as he rotates and swings his body to the rhythm of the drums. Bagoas' pliant body pulses with the beat matching each musical note. He dances in a trance lost to those around him enhancing the audience's sexuality and carnal desires. There is not a man in the room who is not drawn to the suggestions and offers emanating from the boy's body. Bagoas dance routine hypnotizes all those present in needing and wanting to conquer him, including the King.

Expectedly, Hephaestion is not amused to Bagoas' dancing skills; but more so, he is incensed with Alexander's behavior. Throughout the evening, the young general has sought to suppress his feelings of both insult and offense over the King's despicable performance during the festivities. He turns away from watching Alexander openly salivating over the young eunuch, reminding him of a panther ready to lunge at its next meal. He immediately refills his wine cup and tosses down quickly hoping the effects will soon dilute the evening away as a terrible nightmare. His attention is briefly diverted when he feels a squeeze on his shoulder. Hephaestion looks up to find his comrade, Perdiccas, standing over him offering a look of support and sympathy. His cup is then refilled by Seleucus sitting nearby, who leans forward to whisper, "Do not lose hope Hephaestion. He is not lost to you my friend." Then together in silence, the young generals watch the spectacle of the King and the young eunuch carry on before them.

Steadily, the music speeds up and Bagoas gradually makes his way towards the King. He stands before Alexander seducing him with the contours and swaying of his body. The King is lured in, licking his lips and staring passionately at the boy dancing before him. Bagoas teases and torments the King with his closeness allowing for the delicate silk wrap covering him to fling around, revealing himself. Alexander heavy in his cups is spinning with every turn and swing Bagoas' makes with his body. He is overtaken with pure lust and is unable to contain his attraction towards the boy. The men around cheer and whistle at the King encouraging him to take the eunuch, now fingertips away from him. Alexander reaches out and swiftly pulls off the silk material causing the now naked Bagoas to increase the momentum of his dancing ever more, seducing the King to approach him. Slowly the music fades away and the young eunuch step back, before Alexander reaches out again, breathing heavily and sweating profusely in exhaustion. Again encouraged by his companions, Crateus pushes Alexander up to panting boy. The young king sways as he tries to stand. He takes every step cautiously grasping for some form of steadiness as he draws near Bagoas. "Kiss him! Kiss him!" chants the crowd of men behind him. "Come on Alexander. Take the Boy and Kiss him!".

Hephaestion watches in horror as Alexander enthusiastically grabs the boy in with both hands and places a deep and fervent kiss into his mouth. The kiss continues on inspiring the crowd into a louder cheer and laughter. Alexander, enthralled in the moment, allows his hands to roam the back of Bagoas' pulling him closer to him. Moments later, the King finally breaks his hold and throws his arm around Bagoas, handing him his silk wrap. He then leads him to his couch setting him down to his right side, the seat usually reserved for Hephaestion.

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With the entertainment over, the party resumes to the heavy drinking and raucous merriment. Unable to contain his disappointment over Alexander's offensive behavior, Hephaestion takes leave from Perdiccas and Seleucus to head back to his rooms. At that very moment, Alexander also declares he will retire. Surprised by his lover's announcement, Hephaestion finds hope that the evening is not completely lost and that Alexander would be following him to his rooms. To his disappointment, as he turns to Alexander to receive his usual assuring glance, he instead watches the King leading the young boy wrapped in his arms out of the hall. Immediately, Hephaestion's expression grows dark with rage and jealousy. Sensing Hephaestion's reaction, Ptolemy along with Perdiccas offers to help him retire back to his rooms. Unfortunately the generals' efforts of preventing a confrontation between the lovers become frivolous, when Hephaestion ignores his companions' pleas and storms out of the room to follow the King. In his desperation to talk to his lover, Hephaestion rushes to the King's rooms.

The young general arrives at the King's doors just as Alexander and Bagoas walk up. Completely intoxicated and caught up in the moment, the King initially does not recognize his lover waiting at the door, mistaking him for a royal guard. Alexander waves for his doors to be opened, when Hephaestion steps before him.

"Ah General Amyntor! Have you come to bid your King good night?" sways the inebriated King. "I am afraid I will not be needing your company tonight. As you can see". As he pulls Bagoas forward placing a kiss on his neck.

"Alexander" pleas Hephaestion, "If we could just talk for a moment."

"NO!" yells Alexander, suddenly sober. "I do not heed to any orders from you. If YOU recall, it was YOU who denied me earlier."

"Alexander" utters Hephaestion

"ENOUGH!" screams the King, "I have no need for your services here. In fact, I think it might be best if you were sent away ... from me.! He then turns to nearby guards. "Thelos"

Just then Ptolemy and Perdiccas appear suddenly from the darkness of the hall. "Ah Good!" exclaims Alexander, upon seeing his other generals approaching. "Ptolemy, I want you to ensure that General Amyntor, is sent out at first light to lead the troops assigned the task of building the new settlement near Susa. I plan to head towards Perespolis by the royal road before winter." The King then turns to his calvary commander, "Perdiccas, I want you to accompany him."

"My King?" replies Ptolemy. "Susa sire? That is more than 100 stadias from here?"

"Do not question my orders Ptolemy" retorts the King. "If you cannot carry out my orders than I will find someone else."

"No my King!" steps up Hephaestion, with a look of defeat, humbly bows his head, "I will go and build your new settlement. I just wanted you to know that I lov …."

"Very good" snides Alexander, interrupting Hephaestion. "We are done here!" Then without another word, the King pulls Bagoas closer to him as they stride into his private chambers together.

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Stay tune to what happens next - it gets interesting!! :)


	4. Chapter 4 Life with Bagoas Continued

All: The "Life with Bagoas" has been split into 3 additional chapters – It turned out to be longer than I expected. Thanks for being patient and I hope you enjoy the update. All the Best!

P.S. Kudos to my Beta Readers- Lady Stella and Lady Pete –– "YOU GALS ROCK!!"

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_Life with Bagoas - Chapter 4_

_Back at the King's Residence in Susa – January 324_

Phai! Phai! The warm whisper of his name echoes into his dream as he is gently awoken to discover Alexander kneeling above him in his couch. Instinctively, he looks up to see brown eyes staring upon him in quizzically as if Alexander would be able to decipher his thoughts.

Hephaestion leans back further to take in the full sight of the divine being radiating upon him. "You are beautiful" comes a soft voice followed by a hard and demanding kiss. Quickly, Alexander's hands claw themselves to Hephaestion's robe hastily pulling the knot of his belt. Alexander struggles in his anticipation to feel the smooth skin of Hephaestion's chest. He is awarded for his persistence as the robe falls midway granting him full access to his lover. The King moves down his lover's neck to his nipple biting it tenderly, all the while moving his hand down to Hephaestion's thigh.

"I presumed the council went well Alexander," gasp Hephaestion reclining back allowing his lover to divulge upon him. Gauging on the King's carnal need for intimacy, he had expected the Alexander was in a better mood than when he left early in the morning to propose his wave of changes to his companions and counsels.

"As well as expected," comes a deep sigh.

"Hmm, so they have agreed to send back… the old guard" pants Hephaestion as he feels Alexander stroking his arousal taking control of his thoughts as he struggles to speak further, "I am surprised……"

With disappointment, Alexander abruptly withdraws his hand and looks down at Hephaestion feeling insulted for the doubt. "Surprised? What choice do they or anyone have on the matter?", furiously replies the King. "All decisions concerning this army are mine alone. I see no reason for…"

"Alexander…" interrupts a plea, "You misunderstand.. I am surprised only to see you back so soon. I had not expected you until early evening."

His rush to conclusion creates a feeling of shame as Alexander's expression quickly softens. "I missed you at my side during the council." Softly whispers the King raising himself up to be more leveled with his lover's eyes. "I want things to be different between us Hephaestion. Soon, all will know where you stand in my life."

"I have always been here Alexander. Only in death will I ever leave your side. "

The strength of the conviction and sincerity exuding from Hephaestion's blue eyes penetrates through the King as if to touch directly into his very soul. When looking upon them, Alexander knows absolute truth is being told to him. A reflection of a love that never ceased, though at times may have been displaced. Hephaestion reaches out to take Alexander in, breaking his daze and reigniting the passion between them through a long-awaited domineering kiss. Their shared desire from the single kiss nearly knocks the King off balance as he tries to steady himself above his lover.

Overcome by the renewed love, Hephaestion hungrily reaches out to seize and pull open Alexander robe to feel his body against him. Their movements become enthusiastic as their desire and need take over their senses. Alexander yanks down his trousers without releasing his lover. But, Hephaestion pulls away, breaking the kiss taking Alexander's breath away. With only a look, he slowly steps up to stand over Alexander carefully pushing off his robe to reveal himself in his entirety. The King stares gasping as if watching a god descend before him from Olympia. In response, Alexander feverishly removes his long robe to spring forward to embrace his gift from the gods.

Alexander hesitates briefly, pulling away to look soothing on at his lover, "Do you feel better? …. Are you up for this?" Hephaestion smiles bashfully gliding the King's hand to his arousal, "it would appear I am."

To reassure his lover, Hephaestion takes the initiative and leaps out of the couch to lead Alexander to his chamber. But before reaching the bed, Alexander playfully pushes Hephastion towards it and immediately pins him down. "I have yet to be with the Chiliarch?", teases Alexander as he places soft kisses down Hephaestion's chest, "What powers will you wield over your King?"

"If we listen to the others," utters Hephaestion as he arches his back in anticipation to Alexander's descent down his stomach, "my… power... comes from between... my... thi..ghs"

"I see and what may I find as the source of your strength?" with a wicked smile, the King makes his way further down kissing his stomach to his navel. "Ah … there … it … is!"

But their moment of rare intimacy is disrupted by desperate knocks booming from the chamber doors. The men had tried ignoring the interruption until a desperate and frantic plea comes crying from behind them.

"My King... My King..." employs the distressing voice.

"What!!" bellows the King, "I have told you Eumenes, I do not wish to be disturbed! Whatever it is will wait!

"My King it is of an urgent matter… concerning the old guards!"

Hastily Alexander springs from the bed. With no regard to his nakedness, he sprints to the door vehemently pulling it open.

"What is it Eumenes?" The eschewed secretary impervious with Alexander's appearance bows apologetically, but becomes distracted when he recognizes Hephaestion in the King's bed. He throws a fierce look at the Chiliarch moving out of the bed. His detestation and repugnance towards the general is apparent as he throws a disapproving glare at him before he returns his attention to the King.

"Alexander the old guards are in an uproar. They've gathered in the hall furious with your decision to send them home. They demand an audience before…."

"I have heard enough!" states Alexander with a look of disgust. "They will have to wait!"

"Alexander, there is a threat of a mutiny. They have packed themselves in the hall insistent that they will not leave without seeing you…"

"To Hades!!.. These ungrateful ..." Turning to his lover watching him moving towards their discarded clothing, and without a second glance to his secretary, "I will be there shortly. You can wait outside Eumenes".

Eumenes without any acknowledgement towards Hephaestion, now standing aside the King, quickly bows and takes his leave out of the room.

Hephaestion hands Alexander his robe and trousers, "I will come with you".

"No, this will not take long. I will not be giving any concession to my decision. I have given my final word on this matter."

"Alexander, I may be of some help." replies Hephaestion pulling over his tunic, "Have you forgotten who among us it the more diplomatic one?"

"I do know. But there will be no negotiation," consoles the King, taking a hand to stroke his

lover's cheek, and leaning in with a kiss, "I must insist that you stay Hephaestion." And with a sigh of disappointment, "I have planned for a small surprise for us tonight. I do not want our evening ruined by the insolence of these retched old men."

"Alexander, I can..."

"Phai please indulge me just this once for me." raising a finger to interrupt before leaning in for another tender kiss.

Not wishing to fight over Alexander's request, Hephaestion submits. His compliance surprises the King who finds himself lost for words. He had prepared for a battle but all the while was truly appreciative for the indulgence.

Having quickly dressed, Alexander turns to leave, but before reaching the doors, he stops with his back to Hephaestion, "Early today, why did you turn Bagoas away?", inquires Alexander, as he glances to catch his lover's reaction, "I had instructed him to tend to your needs. He could have given you a bath and soothed your aching body."

"What? I have no need for your boy's services. I am capable of taking care of myself," replies Hephaestion startled and incensed by Bagoas constant influence over the King. "I do not need your leftovers…"

"Be calm Hephaestion, I did not wish to quarrel with you. The boy is nothing more than a mere servant, nothing more," calmingly explains the King trying to reassure his lover "I had thought we were pass any misgivings regarding him. You must know by now I can only love you. He has not shared my bed since…."

"Forgive me Alexander." interjects Hephaestion, "You are right. Let us set this matter aside. I will see you later this evening."

"I will not be long. I intend to return before dinner," smiles the King as he timidly steps through the chamber doors.

Upon filling a cup of wine, Hephaestion walks out to the balcony watching Alexander cross the gardens with Eumenes and Ptolemy. Hephaestion grins to himself as he recognizes the visible anger and annoyance surfacing in the King's mannerism. The whole scene in the garden reminded him of the days following his return from building the settlements in Susa.

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_Babylon – Late Summer 331 BC_

The sounds of riders galloping into the courtyard distracts the King, as he sits in his private personal quarters, mulling over the various scrolls laid out atop his desk. The doors to his office burst open, as his page rushes in to inform that General Amyntor had returned with his men. Without hesitation, the King instructs Leon to inform the general that he expects an audience with him and Perdiccas in the main hall as soon as they have retired their horses. Shortly after the departure of his page, Alexander quickly gulps down his wine and takes another in hopes of controlling his nerves. It had been almost two full lunar moons since his confrontation with Hephaestion. Since that time, they have had no personal contact with each other with the exception of periodic status reports. The King makes a face thinking upon during their time apart, Hephaestion has managed to impressively perform his assignment. With diligence, Hephaestion has shown to be a competent logistics and diplomat more so than any other man in Alexander's army, himself included. The young general was proving to be a true warrior in his own right, separate and apart from Alexander as his King and lover. The realization of Hephaestion independence from him revives the fear that had been mounting since their separation. He was losing Hephaestion. To add to matters, the anticipation and uncertainty of their reunion with the strain of the upcoming march towards Susa and Persepolis had made Alexander insufferable, causing those around him to be unnerved and on edge. With a deep sigh, Alexander refills his cup clutching to the blue stone hanging on his chest, sending a small prayer to the gods for a happy reunion.

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Perdiccas and Hephaestion stood silently in the Grand Hall awaiting for the arrival of the King.

"Perdiccas, he makes us wait like servants" grunts Hephaestion annoyed for having been told to immediately greet the king to only be made to stand waiting. He was completely exhausted from the full day ride.

"Hephaestion, stop fidgeting! You look as if you are about to face a battle against the whole of Persia."

"I would rather be up against Darius at least then I would be able to see the enemy approach." Glaring at the empty chair centered in the hall, "I grow tired of this waiting game."

"Hephaestion this will be over with soon enough."

Hephaestion waited restlessly unable to anticipate the King's reception to his return back to Babylon. The uncertainty lingering in the air created a tension in his body that surfaced out as annoyance and rage. Hephaestion had no predetermined idea as to where his relationship with Alexander stood since their last encounter. Was it a relationship at all? During his absence, they had not exchanged a personal word between them. Alexander appeared perfectly content with weekly dispatches without a single personal inquiry as to his well being.

"I know Perdiccas, this is all too difficult." Exhaling a soft breath, as he shifts his helmet to his other arm watching attentively to the side door for the King's entrance, "I do not know what I am to expect when I see him."

"Hephaestion, remember the must difficult people are the ones that typically need the greatest amount of love." replies Perdiccas in a soft voice, as he carefully reaches out to rub a thumb upon Hephaestion's hand. "He is still your friend."

Hephaestion smiles at the gesture, but is disheartened at the thought of only sharing a friendship with Alexander. Contrary to the distance and time between them, he still loved him. The sounds of the side doors opening causes Hephaestion to calmly step away from Perdiccas. He quickly stands in attention as he looks on towards the King as he strides into the room with his entourage of attendants, including Bagoas in tow.

To their surprise, Alexander walks directly up to his companions embracing them.

"Hephaestion, Perdiccas.. It is good to see you again." grins the King, "I trust the settlement near Susa was a success."

Hephaestion, incapable to react to Alexander's warm greeting steps back staring away the King, suddenly lost for words. Perdiccas calmly steps forward.

"Sire the settlement is ready for your arrival. We have returned to collect further supplies and will be prepared to move out tomorrow. We plan…."

No longer listening to Perdiccas' report, the King fixes his gaze on Hephaestion taking note of the man's beauty. The general's presence only sorrowfully reminds Alexander of what he had been missing the past 2 months. His sadness only grows as he becomes aware that Hephaestion is looking pass him as if to take in his mere presence but disregarding his actual existence.

Then slowly the cerulean eyes beam upward at the King. "Alexander" he whispers in a low and indistinct voice. But before Alexander is able to acknowledge what he may have heard, Bagoas steps up to lean in the King's ear reminding him of the awaiting delegation from Opis.

Drawing his attention back to Perdiccas, Alexander throws an arm around his shoulder, "We will feast to your return tonight generals" announces Alexander trying to maintain a facade of excitement. "But you must excuse me. I have other matters to tend to this afternoon."

The King is led to a back room. But before he enters, he stretches to look back in hopes of finding some confirmation of the soft voice he had caught briefly resounding in the air. Did he hear Hephaestion call out his name? But his hopes for affirmation are depressed when he takes in the reality that the generals are no longer in the room.

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What had been planned to be a small intimate dinner had grown to a robust feast as many of the companions and other soldiers were eager to reunite with the generals and the men of their troop.

"Hephaestion" calls out Ptolemy pulling him in for a strong hug, "It is so good to have you back. I have missed you."

"Come Hephaestion, Perdiccas and Adonis, join us" follows up Seleucus motioning the three men towards their couch. "We are anxious to hear of the settlements in Susa."

"It is good to have you back Hephaestion. It has not been the same here since your departure" laughs Ptolemy, "Many have missed you here,… though, I cannot say the same for Perdiccas".

Across the table, Alexander watches Hephaestion over his goblet as he takes another cup of wine. He had ordered the undiluted wine to flow freely to celebrate the generals' return; Hephaestion's return. Truth be told, the undiluted wine was more for himself to give him the courage to face what he had grievously lost. During the past months, he has come to rely more upon heavy drinking to ease his personal anxieties and unhappiness. He stares intently at Hephaestion dressed in a plain white chiton laced with blue trims, draped over with blue chlamys clipped together with a _fibulae_ of Aphrodite. The wool cloak and _fibulae_ had been gifts from Alexander before their departure from Pella. The King gazes upon the general marveling on how time appeared to have stood still, encasing Hephaestion's beauty to that day the gifts were shyly given to him. Alexander is drawn into the youthful glow and luster solely owned by the man sitting across from him. Again he calls for more wine as he takes note of Philotas pulling a seat next to him on his couch.

"My men tell me that he spends much of his time with Perdiccas and Adonis", leans in the cavalry commander.

"It is to be expected they are under his command."

"Ahh yes, but until the early morning these meetings go to," Smirks Philotas, "You of all would know what these overnight meetings can entail..."

"I have no need for gossip, Philotas", the King cuts in, without a look of acknowledgment, "Is your life so dull you find it necessary to meddle in the lives of others?" now turning furiously at his commander, "Perhaps I should double your duties!"

"I am content with my life" rising from the couch throwing a mocking toast to the table across them, "as it would appear to be the case with General Amyntor." Philotas callously walks away leaving the King to dwell on his words.

Regardless of his apathy towards Philotas' comment, Alexander watches more intensively at the interaction between Hephaestion and his fellow commanders. He takes note of Hephaestion's demeanor towards them; the way he bites his lips when listening attentively, how his eyes gleam when he laughs, and the touches of his hand caressing over callused fingers. Unassumingly he watches Adonis lean in to whisper into Hephaestion's ear taking sight of how Adonis' lips brush against the general's cheek as if tasting the sweetness of his skin and the warmth of his breath. The King swallows another cup trying to dismiss the scene playing out before him. Suddenly the cerulean eyes of the general turn straight towards him as if accusing him of being intrusive to their intimacy. The king blushes in embarrassment but rapidly grows irritated at Hephaestion's apparent disregard for his presence. In response, Alexander swiftly pulls Bagoas down onto his lap to nibble at his ear and to kiss his neck.

Hephaestion had hoped that he would gain the King's attention if he were to achieve some eye contact with him. But much to his disappointment, Alexander responded to his gaze by reaching out for the young eunuch. At that moment, all hopes of reconciliation begin to dissolve and he sadly allows himself to indulge into the company of his companions. As he sits engaging in the conversations, he feels Adonis' hand discreetly rest upon his knee. After weeks of discouraging Adonis' advances, Hephaestion swigs in another cup of wine and casually leans in to take hold of the offer.

The King, full in his cup, slouches on his couch as Bagoas lies across his lap. Throughout the night, Alexander had sat discreetly watching Hephaestion interact with the other companions, with Adonis. His line of sight is broken when a tall figure staggers before him. Alexander looks up with a smile to see Ptolemy staring down at him with a wide smirk. The old general drops himself towards the couch missing it and landing near the King's feet.

"Alexander this has been …a feast … worthy of .. the generals … returns." slurs Ptolemy punctuating each word carefully, "I am afraid I have filled myself beyond my limits."

"I am sure you are not alone" empathizes Alexander, "By morning we will all feel regret for it." gradually shifting his gaze back across the table.

"Hephaestion looks good" replies Ptolemy following the direction of the King's stare. "Don't you think?"

"He is beautiful!" sighs, Alexander, unaware that he has allowed his hidden thoughts to surface.

Taking notice of the anguish in the King's eyes, Ptolemy leaning his arm across Alexander's knees, still staring at Hephaestion, in a soft voice, "Sometimes we can love carelessly…. but it does not mean the love cannot be reclaimed." Turning to the King, "He will always love you Alexander". After a moment of silence, the old general then pushes himself off the floor, "I believe I will go and retire," with a small nod, "Health to you sire"

Hephaestion purposefully refused to look up from his wine taking notice of Ptolemy's departure from the King. It wounded him to see Bagoas sprawled like a cat upon his master purring in utter satisfaction, taking comfort in his present station with the King. The feeling of a small kiss to his cheek redirects his attention as Adonis tilts his warm lips to his ear, "Come with me". Hephaestion feels his face flush as he becomes aware that Adonis' invitation is also accompanied with a hand gliding under the general's chiton to his inner thigh. The initial sensation of a human touch moving up him, coupled with his intoxication, awakens a desire kept in dormant for months. He turns to look into the deep green eyes challenging him to follow. Instinctively, Hephaestion reaches out to twist the small curls of Adonis' dark hair and slowly caresses his hand down the strong facial features of his jaws to his lip. He begins to feel himself drawn in and lost in the moment, until he catches the uneasy stares of Perdiccas and Seleucus firing towards him.

Perdiccas silently nods against Hephaestion temptation to kiss Adonis, shifting his eyes towards the deadly glare of the King from across the room. But Hephaestion makes not move to turn and instead grabs hold of Adonis' hand and gestures him to rise off the couch. Without any further contact, Hephaestion steps off his seat to follow Adonis' lead out of the room. In the interim, Alexander witnesses his worse nightmare come to full volition. The shock of the moment causes him to lose his voice and become paralyzed to make any movement to stop Hephaestion from leaving the room with Adonis. With his rage rapidly consuming him, he vigorously grabs hold of Bagoas groping at him, using him as a vassal for his emotional pain, his personal loss.

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Silently, Hephaestion staggers behind Adonis down the darkened corridors towards the captain's rooms. Unexpectedly, a hand comes out to reach to his own, pulling him quickly up against a doorway. While holding his hands down, Adonis pushes his body against Hephaestion insistent upon a kiss. Hepahestion's body spinning with emotions, allows the kiss to deepen, responding in tone to it. Adonis releases his hold of Hephaestion's wrists moving them to the side of his body sliding them under his chiton. The young general feels his erection growing in Adonis' hand as he is tenderly cupped and stroked. Hephaestion moans to the touch submerging himself into the waves of conflicting desires. His body is reacting faster than his mind is able to wrap around the reality of the moment. Slowly Adonis breaks the kiss as Hephaestion feels the skirt of his chiton lifted and without further notice, the captain takes him by the mouth. In reaction, Hephaestion arches his back thrusting into the warmth of Adonis' tongue, while twisting his fingers over the curls of Adonis' head. Hephaestion mind goes blank to the sensation until the image of the King comes to mind. "Alexander" utters the general, "Alexander." As if shaken from a dream, Hephaestion suddenly becomes conscious that he stood in a crossroad with his relationship to the Alexander and that the decision he made now would affect the future course of it. Guilt ridden for his weakness, Hephaestion forcefully pushes away from Adonis. The young captain lands on his back facing up to the General with a look of confusion and disappointment.

"I cannot… do this… Adonis" tensely states Hephaestion as he steps away from him. "Not to Alexander". He then quickly turns around rushing towards the opposite direction of his rooms.

Hephaestion walks aimlessly loss in thought as he wanders throughout the hallways of the opulent palace, showing little regard to those walking pass him or to where he was going. His life was in complete darkness without his Sun God to shine upon him. Hephaestion needed, wanted Alexander, but what purpose would he have for him now. He had been supplanted by the Eunuch and his only value would have to derive from his place within the army. No longer could Hephaestion see himself as the lover of Alexander, but as a warrior to the King. Yet he clung to a hope that he still held a place in the heart of his Alexander; but saw his hope undermined as he came to grasp that Alexander was no longer the boy of his youth but a man and King of Persia. The campaign was taking its toll on both their lives and now the affects of the new world was ripping them apart. Upon noticing the increase presence of guards, Hephaestion becomes mindful that he has entered into the hallway leading to the King's quarters. But the general does not cease in his walk, rather continues forward through the hall until he reaches the doors of the King. It is only then does he recognizes the panting and moaning echoing from within the room. The King was not alone and it is at this moment does Hephaestion's hope with Alexander finally shatter.

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_The next day,_

It is midday when the sunlight creeps through the heavy curtains of the King's rooms. Alexander tosses in his bed reaching out to the empty space beside him. He rolls to his back feeling more the effects of last night's wine pounding and aching in his head. As he closes his eyes, Alexander catches glimpses of the prior evening. Hephaestion piercing stare towards him; Hephaestion leaning into Ardonis' touch, Hephaestion leaving with Adonis. The general had made the decision as to the fate of their relationship and in response Alexander took Bagoas to his bed. It was a coupling absent of tenderness or love. It had served its purpose as retaliation against Hephaestion; it was a temporary outlet for Alexander's release of his pain and heartbreak.

After his morning sacrifice, Alexander gathers his companions to council to discuss the final preparations of their departure towards the settlement in Susa. The King decides after the meeting he will take the opportunity to talk to Hephaestion in private.

Upon reaching the assembly hall, the King takes his seat to only realize that not all of his generals were present. Hephaestion and Seleucus are noticeably absent. He quickly stands to his feet demanding from his commanders the whereabouts of the missing generals. Having received no response from the men in the room, Alexander bellows out his inquiry again with more indignation and impatience.

With some trepidation, Ptolemy rises from among the men, "They are out scouting the region near Persepolis"

"I gave NO such orders" blurts Alexander glaring at Ptolemy as if to blame him for Hephaestion's absence.

"Sire, you had ordered men to be sent to scout the region… to subdue any hostilities before our arrival to Susa." Ptolemy with some hesitation utters, "Hephaestion volunteered to lead the scouting party only this morning."

"He volunteered!! VOLUNTEERED!!", screams the King, "I want him here NOW!"

"Sire, he is now a full day ride ahead of us. His return would take two more." Explains Ptolemy, "May I suggest we move out our men today and have General Amyntor meet us at Susa."

Alexander though marked by extreme anger, manages to realize the rationale in Ptolemy's words. He gives a slight nod. "See to it that we move out in one hour," barks out the King with a look of resentment, "You are all dismissed!" He follows the men taking their leave when he notices the tall blond man shifting in the back of the room. "Perdiccas, stay!"

With passing glances of concern from his retreating companions, Perdiccas steps up towards the center of the room, where the King was now furiously walking back and forth in front of his couch.

"He volunteered to leave Perdiccas. Why?" cries the King as he steps before a nearby table bending forward with his arms trembling upon it. "Have I repulsed him into the arms of another?"

"No! Alexander he did not. He would never betray you!" quickly assures Perdiccas, fearful now for the safety of his friend.

With great speed, the King rushes forward to tightly grab hold of Perdiccas' shoulders shaking him forcefully. "Do NOT lie to me. I saw him with my very own eyes last night!!"

Without a glimmer of apprehension, Perdiccas holds fast to his bearings, "Alexander he went to his room ALONE last night after…" hesitating mid-sentence.

"Out with it man!" Speak up!, screams the King, spitting out his words of anger against his general, holding back his arm to strike the man before him.

"Hephaestion told me – he heard you!", glaring sternly at the King no longer restraining his personal rage, "He heard you in your rooms with YOUR EUNUCH!"

Alexander slightly stumbles back by the words as if grazed by a dagger. But with sheer desperation to justify his action, he pulls the general forward and with a swift shove hurls him down to the floor. With a look of indifference, the King then turns to walk away mumbling in defeat under his breath, "No matter, he is with Adonis Now!"

"Alexander! He takes no comfort in another – By the Gods I swear it!", counters Perdiccas catching Alexander's remark as he quickly pushes himself off the floor to stand behind the King.

"Except for you!" retorts Alexander without a second glance towards the general. "I hear the whispers of this army. I know of your late nights with him."

Perdiccas drops his head to stare down to the floor, "I am only his friend. You were, are his lover." he earnestly whispers and without taking a step towards the King, "I take no comfort in seeing you both in pain."

Catching the hidden meaning of Perdiccas' last words, Alexander stops himself to partially turn to face Perdiccas, "You mean to say he still loves me?"

"Alexander… he has never stopped!"

TBC


	5. Chapter 5 Life with Bagoas Continued

Life with Bagoas - Chapter 5

Alexander orders the army eastward, moving it swiftly along the lush fields nestled aside the Euphrates towards the Tigris River. He inspires the men to quickly move across the two rivers promising of great wealth when they capture Susa, the Achaemenid capital, with its large treasury and beautiful women. Not since their march to Thebes has Alexander's army pushed themselves so hard to cover so much ground in so little time. While the trek further across the rugged terrain and scorching heat should have taken six days, Alexander's army was no more than 25 stadias away by the fourth day of their march. The King had expected to reach Susa by mid-afternoon the next day. He had sent out scouts prior to making camp to inform Hephaestion of their position to request that he meet them in Susa by early evening of their arrival. His anticipation of his reunion with Hephaestion, coupled with word that Darius was on the run, had only made him more unbearable to his men and intolerable to his companions. Alexander had newfound hope towards his relationship with Hephaestion, and there would be no peace or comfort for the troubled King or anyone until he reached Susa.

"Have the scouts returned?" inquires Ptolemy as he grabs another piece of bread, "Alexander? Alexander?"

"What?" No not yet!" replies the King again lost in his thoughts. Though barely touching his meal, he again waves to his page to refill his cup.

"It is late" chimes in Perdiccas "Perhaps they have stayed the night and will arrive before we break camp in the morning."

"Perhaps" murmurs Alexander "Maybe in the morning," trying to look interested in the conversation.

The dinner goes on quietly, until Alexander abruptly rises from his couch and announces that he will retire. He had been in no mood for company; in fact he had no desire to be around anyone, since Hephaestion's departure from Babylon. He had only agreed to dine with his companions after their constant persistence. Upon stepping off his couch, he takes notice of Bagoas following at his heels; he waves him to stay and quietly takes leave out of the tent alone.

With the possible reunion closely at bay, the King was unable to contain the anxiety and stress of his meeting with Hephaestion. He had conjured in his mind all he had wanted and what he had planned to say to his friend; but feared that time had taken its toll and it would all be for waste. How was he to justify his selfishness and disregard for his love towards Hephaestion. Alexander knew he had never stopped loving Hephaestion; he had simply forgotten to show his appreciation and recognition for it. He reaches his tent and without any regard towards his pages, he crawls into bed praying that Hypnos will grant his a full nights rest. He had hoped that tomorrow would bring a day of better promises.

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_The night before somewhere near the Zagros Mountains_

"I have received word from camp that the King has been intolerable in anticipation of your return", teases Seleucus as he sits shinning his helmet admiring his new hair cut.

"Camp gossips do not concern me" replies Hephaestion as he continues drawing out a map of the region, trying to suppress his smile. "I am sure our King is more focused on finding Darius."

"Well personally, I cannot wait to get out of these mountains. The region has a bad feel to it".

"When have you been a man of suspicions" grins Hephaestion, "May I remind you, it will take the army at least six days to get to Susa. You would find it better to make yourself comfortable until we leave to meet them in three days."

"I would prefer if…" Seleucus is distracted to the sudden appearance of the Capitan of Hephaestion's cavalry stepping into the tent.

"Come boys, we should join the others for dinner. Some of the men have caught some local

game!" announces Adonis.

"Good! I grow tired of Hephaestion ignoring me. He finds more interest in his drawings"

Upon seeing Seleucus' departure out of the tent, Adonis walk up to his commander and, with a wide smile reaches out to touch Hephaestion shoulder. "You have been working on your maps since our arrival."

"The King would find it useful to know the region before we advance towards the Gates then down to Persepolis," turning to face his captain. "How did the exercises go with the men?" trying to maintain a tone of indifference. Since their ride towards Persepolis, Hephaestion has upheld some distance from his captain. Having received, once again, no personal word from the King, Hephaestion had come to expect the demise of his intimate relationship with Alexander to inevitably be at an end. For now, Hephaestion thought it best to forego any intimacy until he had sorted his feelings towards Alexander. He needed time alone. He had hoped volunteering to lead the small military force of 100 men to scout and retain the region near Persepolis would create the necessary time and distance. The general is taken aback when he feels Adonis standing before him placing his hands upon his shoulders. Adonis' flirtatious grin stirs a perverse reaction in Hephaestion.

"Come Alexander's maps can wait through a meal," offering his hand to the General. The young captain would not waver on his advances towards the general. He had felt that Hephaestion should not suffer alone and at the very least could offer a genuine friendship. Taking Adonis' suggestion, Hephaestion rises from the desk to look directly at the young man, fighting the urge to lean in.

"You wear this chlamys as if they are part of you," observes Adonis staring across at the general. He quickly reaches out to remove the blue cloak clasped together with a pin of Aphrodite off the general to place them over his head. "I think they would look better on me. Do I look to be more distinguished?" as he adjust it around him parading it before the General.

"It was a gift from an old friend." laughs Hephaestion watching Adonis playfully admiring himself. "I would ask that you hand it back," extending out his hand to reach out for wool cloak.

Before another word is spoken, a loud trumpet call goes out throughout the camp. A soldier bolts in almost knocking Adonis over, "General the scouts have located locale tribes riding with speed towards us just beyond the ridge fully armed!"

"What… Where." demands the general, "Hades Balls – these damn fools!"

Grabbing hold of the soldier attempting to steady the man's obvious nerves, Hephaestion calmly instructs him to gather the commanders and to immediately have them meet him in his tent.

Turning to his captain, "Adonis make sure the horses are ready. These ignorant imbeciles have decided to disregard my advise," snide the general feeling his instincts and rage overtaking him. "The stubborn fools wish to parley with the wrath of Alexander's army. Well, they will soon face their worse nightmare!" Then without further delay, the general rushes to pull his armor on and gather his shield and sword.

Upon the arrival of his commanders, they assess the situation at hand.

"They are about 3 stadias from here. The scouts approximates over a 100 of them from the various local tribes." States Selecuss looking down at Hephaestion's map, "They are coming from across this small mountainous terrain. They intend to meet us out on open field."

"They are idiots" chimes Adonis "Sheep lining up for a slaughter."

"Have you not heard, we are outnumbered!" interjects Agapios, the newly promoted captain of the phalanx. "Do you think we are the Spartans at Thermopylae"

"No" counters Hephaestion, "Marathon!"

"What?" replies Agapios the confused Captain.

"We will lead them into the center and we will have the cavalry flank them" explains the Hephaestion, "Remember the phalanx is the anvil and the cavalry is the hammer. We will encircle them."

"It will work!" enthusiastically responds Seleucus, "We will have the phalanx move forward pushing them back while we have the cavalry ride at both side squishing these bugs."

"Then see to it!" exclaims Hephaestion, "Have the orders passed down and have the men prepared. We will ride out to meet them on the field."

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Throughout the night, Alexander is plagued with a nightmare of himself alone, frantically searching out the faint call of his lover in the darkness of a battlefield; the call goes unanswered as Alexander is unable to find him. Suddenly the King is awoken out of his daze in a cold sweat relieved to know it was only a trick of Hypnos.

It was early morning and in the distance the trumpet call for first duty alerts to the King he will soon be in Susa. The soft voices of men conversing nervously within the confine of the tent immediately draw his attention. Hastily, he rises from his cot throwing his chiton loosely over him as he steps out into his antechamber. His sudden appearance startles the awaiting companions. The distressing expression on each man's face transfixes the King back to his nightmare.

"What is it?" demands Alexander glaring at each man feeling the tension in the tent.

"The scouts have returned Sire" steps forward Cleitus, his solemn expression betraying his emotions. "They have found General Amyntor's campsite. And there"

"Well out with it?" spats the King, "What is it?"

Coenus steps forward holding an article of clothing covered in blood. Instantly, Alexander recognizes the blue chlamys and silver pin fastened to it. "The camp was attacked by local villagers. This was found among the carnages."

"Sire, there was a fight and casualties were heavy," adds Cleitus, "Not a man was found alive! The bastards left nothing but the bodies!"

"Where is he?" cries the King "Did they find his body?"

"Alexander, the scouts swept through the rubbles of the site and did not find his body, nor that of Seleucus." Sadly replies Coenus. "The scouts are outside should you need to further inquiry them."

"So he, they may still be alive" counters the King as he leans against a nearby pole.

"Or taken hostage" replies Ptolemy

Grabbing the chlamys from Coenus' hold, the King desperately clutches to it as if he would find the answers to his questions. He stands with a cracked expression taking all his strength to hold his emotions. He feels his daemon growing within him. He will crush the men who dare to harm his Hephaestion. The King begins to feel his body tremble and his breathing quicken. His mind is focused on one objective, finding Hephaestion. He turns to face his companions, "Have the men break camp NOW! "I want to see the site for myself!"

Quickly the companions scramble out of the tent leaving Alexander alone to crumble to the floor gripping the wool cloak upon his chest. "I will find you Hephaestion even if I must follow you to Hades".

TBC

* I hadnt meant for this chapter to be so short - but my computer is being fussy tonight so I will send the rest of it tomorrow!


	6. Chapter 6 Life with Bagoas Continued

ALL: Please let me know what you think! Again Shout Out to my UK Beta Reader - You Are a STAR!!

Life of a Warrior - Life with Bagoas - Chapter 6

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The King moves the army swiftly across the dry plains to arrive at the abandoned campsite by early evening.

The King rides up a gasp to the sight before him. He had seen many battlefields but none held the possibility of his dead friend. Dismounting off his horse, Alexander holds tightly to the reins, if only to steady himself, as he steps over heaps of bodies and debris. The remnants of the battlefield reflect the hard clash that ensued between the two groups. The smoked filled air is unable to conceal the vast amount of dead bodies sprawled out across the field, left only to the elements and the local prey. The discarded tents are left scorched or uprooted from their place. The once pocket of lush filled field is now a graveyard for the vanquished. The dead silence of the field seeps into the bones of each man taking in the sight before them. Not a single breath of life can be seen or heard. It had been a massacre of untold proportions. Alexander stands silent, frantically trying to wipe out the image of Hephaestion's body as among those lying within the carnage of dead men.

"Have the pyres built and ensure that our men are given a proper funeral." orders Alexander. "I want all the bodies identified and accounted for before… "

From within the army, a shout comes from among the men diverting the King and his companion's attention to the horsemen rapidly approaching from the distant horizon. The riders' fast approach and hovering cloud of dust creates an appearance of ghost riders rising from the depth of Hades to make their claim. Immediately, the horsemen are intercepted by the foreword scouts breaking the illusion as they are directly led towards the King.

A shallow cheer reverberates from the army as they instantly recognize the riders to be from the Macedonian cavalry. A shadow of hope faintly emerges upon the King's face as he stands to receive them.

Upon removing their helmets, the riders bow towards the King without lifting their eyes to him.

"Sire" replies the eldest of the riders, "We are part of scouting party led by General Amyntor. We were attacked two nights before. Our camp has moved down towards the mountain side to gain a safer advantage against future attacks".

The King steps forward to kneel down to the man speaking, he lifts his chin to look up to him, with a tone of anguish, he softly inquires, "What of General Amyntor… does he live?"

"Yes sire, along with Seleucus and half our men" softly responds the rider, "We were sent out to salvage any weapons and food."

Overjoyed, Alexander embraces the man tightly lifting him off his feet. "Thank the Gods!!" exclaims the King, to the roaring relief of the men surrounding him. But suddenly, the King's expression grows dark realizing Hephaestion's failure to notify him of the recent skirmish. Pulling back from the rider with a sudden change in his expression, "Why did the General not inform me of this attack … exclaims the King, his rage now apparent in this tone, "I demand you tell me of his whereabouts NOW?"

"I cannot presume…… Sire ….on how to answer for General Amyntor decision …sire."

"Even now he will still try to avoid me," mutters the King under his breath.

"Take me to him" demands Alexander, "Ptolemy and Perdiccas you will join me. The others will stay and see to that the pyres are built quickly and meet me to where General Amnytor has relocated our men."

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_Somewhere Near the Zagros Mountains_

Hephaestion is exhausted after leading a small group of men through the nearby plains to ensure the stabilities of the local tribes. The ride had proven to be a welcome release from having to care and treat for the injured men from the recent skirmish. Upon his ride back to camp, he had thought it best to return to his tent then join his men for dinner. The general walks into his tent and settles upon a nearby stool set against the wall. He calls out for his page for wine as he slowly unties his armor careful to not tangle his bandages wrapped around his ribs. The injury had been a superficial wound across the left side of his ribs. But the day ride had not fared well to keep the laceration sealed; as Hephaestion was starting to bleed again.

"You are injured" a voice echoes from within the darkness of his tent, startling the general.

Immediately Hephaestion rises from his seat with his sword in hand prepared to defend against his unexpected visitor. The silhouette of a figure floats upon the tent wall as the intruder walks into the light slowly revealing himself.

"Alexand… Sire?… I had not expected you." The sudden appearance of Alexander shocks the General to stubble back in to his chair. Hephaestion focuses intently at the King struggling to understand whether he was before an apparition of his lover.

"Is that who I am to be to you now? Only your King" questions Alexander with his arms behind his back as if trying to hold himself back from the general.

"In light of recent events … I would not presume," whispering his thoughts out loud. Hephaestion slouches forward in his chair and shifts his eyes downward unwilling to see Alexander's response.

"Well then, you will explain General Amyntor, why no report was sent to me of the recent fight and relocation of this camp?" steps up Alexander his arms to his side clutching to an article of clothing. "Instead I received this?" throwing the bloodied blue chlamys into Hephaestion's face.

"I had riders sent out the morning after….."

"LIES!" screams the King lunging forward to grab hold of Hephaestion shoulders shaking him forcefully. "I have received no such reports."

Sitting firmly in place, Hephaestion stares defiantly towards the King, "They have not returned!" he spats out without flinching to Alexander's intimidation. "The men I sent out have not reported back… they still are missing!" Pushing his shoulder's forward, as he makes his way up to face the King, throwing the chlamys back at the King, "We were attacked by the local tribes…. And as you can see, we lost many men, many good men. And do not come to me accusing me of dishonesty and deceit. Of late, it has not been _I_ who has lied … Alexander!"" His underlying tone of accusation for Alexander's infidelity stabs into the King's heart.

Alexander scowls across at Hephaestion with mixed feelings of love and hatred. He had wanted this reunion to be different, but he could not excuse his general for his impudence, yet he could not dismiss his feeling of adoration for him. Unable to decide, he discards the chlamys and shoves Hephaestion back against the tent wall. "What do you want from me Phai?" inquires Alexander with his back to him.

Hephaestion falls back to his chair bending forward with his elbows to his knees shaking his head and with a deep breath, he looks up, "You need to let me go!"

Alexander spins around the heat of his blood burning within his veins, "What? You talk of deserting from this army? From me… our dream?"

"I will always be a loyal servant and advisor to you my King. But I can no longer be your lover so long as you have your boy. Things have changed… we have changed" explains Hephaestion with conviction, "You need to direct your energy on more important matters .. on your army.. Darius." With a sigh, he looks up, "I will not allow myself to be disgraced and undermined before this army. I will not be made your convenient whore."

"Are we to have this argument again? Through all these years, you have not been able to overcome your foolish boyhood insecurities." snarls Alexander "We are men now far beyond these pettiness."

Hephaestion bolts from his chair and stands to face his King, "We both knew this day would come.. where my purpose for you would be filled. Your father had foretold us of this… my fate many years ago. Do you recall your reaction to me when Pausanias had revealed to you that your father had raped me… do you remember your perception of me then?" screams out Hephaestion feeling his rage mounting in having to recall the violent day. Disgusted with Alexander's casual attitude to his position, he steps forward and shoves the King back.

He pushes the King again, yelling at the top of his voice, "How can you expect me to overcome these _insecurities_ if you continue to only need me when it suits your purpose. Well I have served my purpose! So NOW let me be simply you warrior- a general of your army." The sudden exertion shakes his body causing him to slump back into his chair, "IF .. IF you have ever loved me then you will release me from you," he whispers.

Alexander throws a fixed glare at Hephaestion feeling his own daemon consuming his thoughts. He steps forward to once again shove the general down trembling with extreme and uncontrollable anger toward the only person who has ever ruled his heart. "You are MINE Hephaestion. If need be then I will order you to stay!!"

"You can order me to stay Alexander, but you will only possess the body and the shell of the man. You will have no claim to my heart again." Incisively replies Hephaestion as he struggles to step up before the Alexander, flinching from the pain of his injury and of his decision. He would lie of his love towards Alexander; he would make the decision for them. Hephaestion thought it best to make the personal sacrifice and set aside his … their love for the sake of hopeful peace between them. But without warning and with headlong speed, the blow from Alexander comes at him before Hephaestion is able to recognize any movement from him. Another hit comes up into his injured rib compelling Hephaestion to fall forward to the ground.

"I see Hephaestion" hangs Alexander over him, "You will give yourself and your heart to any solider willing to take you to bed. Perhaps you have already done so with Adonis." spew out the King. "You are a whore so easily …"

"Adonis is dead" exclaims Hephaestion, "It was Adonis wearing my chlamys…. He died fighting for your dream Alexander," as he stumbles to get up. "Though it is none of your business, I had never been with him."

"But you loved him… I saw you together at the banquet" thunders Alexander "I know what happened in the halls of the palace.. You were."

Before the King utters another word, Hephaestion opens up and lunges forward to wrestle Alexander to the ground. Each man is struggling to gain the upper advantage over the other. But the King is outmatched by his general's stronger skills in wrestling, he finds Hephaestion above him staring down with dark eyes filled with rage and hatred. "It was not love, Alexander," shouting at the top of his voice throwing a fast blow against the King's jaw causing him to draw blood. "How dare you infer any wrongdoing upon me!."

The loud raucous from the tent causes the guards to rush in. Immediately the men withdraw as Alexander screams for the guards to leave. They are not to be disturbed.

Both men face each other from across the tent, throwing determined looks, gauging and anticipating the other man's next move. But Hephaestion is unable to contain his growing pain; he bends forward to catch his breath.

The King is a man of war, and taking no regard to his lover's present condition; strategically sees an opening and takes advantage of Hephaestion's current injuries. With great speed, the King seizes upon the general glaring down at him restraining his arms to his side. "You would live your life without me Phai?"

But the general is relentless. He vehemently struggles to free himself from Alexander's unbelievable strength. It is only when Hephaestion swings his head forward at the King, is he free to push himself away. "I live my life in the _contexts_ of yours Alexander. As I have always done and will do so until my death," spats out Hephaestion wiping the blood flowing from his lips. "But we both know I can no longer be your lover."

Hephaestion now standing several steps away from the King, instinctively recognizes the daemon taking hold of Alexander. On most occasions, Alexander can be a gentle and tender lover. Not since their days in Mieza has their coupling been the result of violence or aggression. However, Alexander is a natural fighter than a diplomat. His battle genius and prowess to beat his enemies is innate to him as breathing. His natural instincts when coupled with his daemon can manipulate the King to total domination and destruction blinded to those around them. Those unfortunate to be in the war path are but the casualties of the daemon's power and control over Alexander's venomous rage and hostility. Not since their alternation at Grancius has Hephaestion had to come face to face with Alexander's daemon. Tonight would be such a night.

With a sudden war cry, Alexander leaps up again crashing head on into Hephaestion hitting heavily and repeatedly into the general's body. The momentum of Alexander's frontal assaults subdues the general with only the power to react helplessly to each blow thrown at him. "You are MINE Hephaestion. I will NOT share you … I WILL not lose you Hephaestion" screams Alexander blinded to his emotions. "Why cant you understand this campaign is our dream."

The onrush of violence goes on as Alexander is unable to contain himself, fully consumed to his daemon's power. Since his departure from Babylon, he had not been able to concentrate on any other task than Hephaestion. His patience in all matter had grown thin and Hephaestion's stubbornness only fueled his daemon. He needed the general to understand his place in his life, his heart; but Hephaestion was not heeding to his words so now Alexander would show him.

The onslaught of Alexander's rage goes on, until out of nowhere, within the corner of his mind, he hears the voice from his nightmare. It is a tender calling for his name out of the darkness of his mind. Gradually, Alexander's unrestrained anger begins to wane and the assault of pain against Hephaestion slowly ends. The King is brought back to reality when he feels a hand caress along his cheek. He feels strong hands pushing against his shoulders. "Alexander…. Alexander" cries Hephaestion wobbling in extreme discomfort.

With a sudden realization of his vicious attack against Hephaestion, he springs away from his general filled with self denial and fear. Alexander sits at a distance with his arms wrapped around his knees rocking himself trying to grasp his emotions. Steadily, he body begins to stop trembling and his breathing becomes calmer, as if to finally be freed from his daemon' hold. He looks across at his lover struggling to sit himself up. Once again, Hephaestion is the receiver of his blind rage. As Bagoas had been used as a vassal for his revenge against his lover and to solidify his place as the new King of Persia; Hephaestion was his outlet for everything else. The man who has only loved him unconditionally lay before him mangled and shattered. There is blood trickling over Hephaestion's face, making him unrecognizable. The bandages around his ribs were torn and his body begins to swell with the marks of Alexander's beatings. Subconsciously the King motions to offer assistance but was uncertain of Hephaestion's reaction and thought it best to keep his distance. He watches helplessly as his lover pulls himself back to his stool grabbing hold of a nearby towel to wipe his face. Alexander looks upon his hands covered with the blood of his lover, and he crumbles within himself in shame and humiliation. Although the King had never lost a battle, in his heart he knew he had lost one tonight.

"I cannot lose you Hephaestion" whispers Alexander breaking the long silence between them. "You are everything good and the best of me. …. I need…love you too much to let you go."

Hephaestion looks towards Alexander sympathetically absorbing his words, unable to find any response. Alexander's proclamation of love encircles his heart with conflicting emotions. Upon watching his lover defeated and a broken man, he is reminded of their time at Molasses.

"You have known me to have other lovers Hephaestion" humbly inquires Alexander, now on his knees, "Why now, why does this boy affect you…us so differently?"

"He has taking my place by your side," painfully utters Hephaestion, "Along with your heart and your dreams from me. He has become all that I once stood for you in your life."

Alexander shoots up to a stance, "NO!" he screams, "You are Patroclus! You are not only the spirit of my life Hephaestion, you ARE my dream. I can never love anyone more."

"I have seen how you look at him Alexander," responds Hephaestion softly, "I know you all to well."

"You are mistaken Hephaestion," pleas the King, "How have I been such a fool to take you for granted – to presume you would understand this. It is a misunderstanding ... but I have never faulted in my love for you."

"How can this all be a misunderstanding Alexander?" utters Hephaestion, "So much time wasted and so much distance has been created between us."

Sensing an opportunity, Alexander takes his courage to slowly step up to cautiously walk towards his general. Upon seeing no movement to withdraw from him, he kneels before his lover to reach out to raise his chin. The piercing blue eyes reflecting upon him emanates the pain and loss; but he senses the love within them. "I cannot live without you, Phai. You have been the one for me and no other. You reign my heart over all others for all my life and thereafter."

"I cannot go back to the way it has been with you and the boy." Responds Hephaestion, "I really want you… I have missed you; but I do not know if you can give me what I really want… I will not be made to be a jealous man."

"Come back to me Hephaestion… Together we will build our dream. I will set aside Bagoas if this will ensure to you my commitment. I will… have not shared my bed with him since your departure from Babylon."

"But it is not what you want Alexander to give up the boy. You crave for the youth and beauty that he offers. I understand what he affirms to you - your place as King of Asia" explains Hephaestion, "I am but a mere boy from your youth, a general with no significant value in your army except creating forts and gathering supplies."

"You are more than that Hephaestion…"

"How could all this be so simple?" Hephaestion shaking his head in disbelief, "How have things become so .. complicated… so lost.. between us.?"

"Who knows why the Gods play their games on us," responds Alexander as he moves a strand of Hephaestion hair from his face, "But we are here and we have found our way back to each other again. I will not be foolish again Phai! By the Gods, I will not test our love again for another!"

With a deep sigh, Hephaestion looks across to the anguish expressed upon Alexander's face. "It is to difficult to hate you Alexander… than it is to love you." He moves his hand to touch the King's arm, "Would you do the same with me one day Alexander, set me aside? Am I only forestalling the inevitable? Or will one day.. will I have see reason to give you up?"

"Never Hephaestion.. only in death will we be apart." responds the King taking a step forward. "Come I will have the servants prepare a bath. I will call for the surgeon re-bandages your wounds." Alexander slowly takes another step up reaching out for his lover. Upon seeing no hesitation from Hephaestion, "I swear by the Gods Phai, I will never give you up. My father was wrong!"

He comes face to face to his lover and gently pulls Hephaestion towards him, embracing him tenderly. He leans into the nape of Hephaestion's neck and whispers, "I am sorry… I am..." but his words for apologizes are interrupted when Hephaestion takes hold of him and offers a deep and passionate kiss. The moment rejuvenates their heart and spirit as they feel themselves rejoined and reconnected. Alexander pulls him closer, his need and desire growing intense, when he feels Hephaestion fall limp within his arms.

"Hephaestion" sobs the King, shaking him as he carries him to his cot. "Hephaestion! NO!! By the GODS NO!!" screams out Alexander… "NO!… Guards!! Guards!!"

TBC


	7. Chapter 7 Life with Bagoas Continued

Finally the last chapter of Life of Bagoas. This chapter is dedicated to Aurelie. It starts off a little strong but it will be worth the read (well I like to think it does!)

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Life with Bagoas - Chapter 7

At that moment, upon hearing the King's desperate call, Perdiccas and Ptolemy charge into the tent. The sight before them stops the generals in there track, leaving them speechless. Alexander sits behind his lover on the small cot; firmly gripping him within his arms whispering words of apologizes upon the motionless body. Cautiously both generals walk towards them taking immediate notice of the large trail of blood leading to the cot. The gruesome scene reminds both generals of the dreadful night at Laomedon's place. Looking down at Hephaestion laid out on the cot, they both know he has once again crossed path with Alexander's daemon.

Without saying a word, Perdiccas kneels down to Hephaestion side painstakingly inspecting the damage. The horrid sight of Hephaestion's mangled and distorted face alone almost causes Perdiccas to heave. Hephaestion looks to be at the doorstep of death. His steady breathing brings hope to Perdiccas, yet he remains unnerved as he notices his friend's unresponsiveness. Perdiccas turns to take in the King's condition noting only minor facial wounds. But what captures the general most are the Alexander's dark eyes emanating a deep sense of desperation and guilt. Perdiccas realizing that the King is unable comprehend any reality outside the situation, calls out to Ptolemy, who stood jaw dropped to the scene before him. "Ptolemy!" calls out the general, "Ptolemy.. send for the surgeon and ... not a word to anyone."

Quietly, Ptolemy rushes out of the tent leaving Perdiccas to tend to the general and King. "Sire… Alexander" he whispers softly moving the King aside, "Alexander you need to let me tend to him." But the King is out of reach; he is unable to acknowledge Perdiccas' presence and only focuses on the man laid out before him. "Alexander" pleas Perdiccas again, "Please let me wipe the blood off him.. let us lay him down."

Slowly the King responds to the general's request as he carefully releases his hold of his lover. But he holds fast to Hephaestion's hand afraid that he would lose him to the Gods. "This is all my doing" utters the King, "I should have let him go… I should have loved him better." He turns to grab Perdiccas shoulder, with a look of fear, "He was coming back to me..."

Carefully, Perdiccas kneels up to Hephaestion, and reaches out for the nearby water bowl and wrings the cloth. He delicately wipes the blood off Hephaestion's face, silently praying to the Gods that the injuries uncovered were not severe. To his relief, he notes a cut lip, a gash above the brow and a few bruises on the cheek and jaw. With a deep sigh, he turns his eyes downward to inspect the other areas of Hephaestion's body and is directly drawn to the blood profusely seeping from his damaged ribs. Swiftly, he cuts Hephaestion's blood stained chiton with his dagger to slowly peel it down. He then slowly removes the torn bandages to uncover the stitches have been ripped apart and cut is now wider and deeper. Quickly, Perdiccas places a dry cloth upon the area to control the bleeding.

At that moment, he turns to hear voices from the tent flap and is relieved to see Ptolemy rushing in with the surgeon behind him.

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"He needs some rest" recommends the surgeon huddled quietly with Perdiccas and Ptolemy. "They both should rest. I have re-sutured the injured ribs and this should stop the bleeding. His face should respond to the salve."

"Will he wake soon" softly questions Perdiccas

"Yes.. he just needs to rest and allow the body to heal itself," states the surgeon turning to look at the King still holding onto Hephaestion's hand. "They should be watched.. to ensure that they… we do not want another encounter."

"You need not worry about them" counters Ptolemy, "The King will see to the needs of the general." He then takes hold of the surgeon's bag and quietly leads him out of the tent. "Now remember you will remain silent."

"I will stay with them tonight" whispers Perdiccas turning to look at Ptolemy. "You should get some rest yourself and I will meet you here in the morning. I have the pages retrieve some cots for Alexander and me."

'I will be in the tent across the way should you need me." assures Ptolemy as he turns to quietly walk out of the tent.

Perdiccas follows suit out of the tent to instruct the pages to bring forward two cots, while sternly instructing the guards to not allow anyone in the tent, per the King's orders.

As soon as the cots are prepared, Perdiccas gingerly steps over to Alexander trying his best to coax him to release his hold and sleep. "Alexander… you need to rest.. you will need your strength for Hephaestion when he wakes." appeals Perdiccas. "You will not be far from him.. Alexander … see your cot will be here next to him."

To his amazement, the King turns to look at the cot and hesitantly releases Hephaestion's hand. Silently he steps toward it and lies to his side to face this lover, never taking his eyes off the sleeping form. Perdiccas watches Alexander murmuring under his breath, "I swear by the Gods Phai – to lose you would be my death. … Please come back to me." Alexander stares longingly at Hephaestion until he is unable to fight the hold of Hypnos. With a sigh, Perdiccas takes the cot nearby and sits up watching intensively as the two men finally take their rest.

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_A couple days later,_

The first sound he hears are footsteps moving about within the tent. Hephaestion opens his eyes to turn towards the shuffling of glasses and plates. He quickly takes note of the surgeon sitting next him attentively watching every move Hephaestion makes.

"General.. you are back!" smiles the surgeon with a glee in his eyes, "You must be thirsty," raising his hand to the nearby page for a decanter of water.

"What has happened?" whispers Hephaestion, confused as to his surroundings, "Where am I?"

"You are in the King's tent" responds the surgeon filling him a cup of water as he moves to help the general up. "You have been asleep for a couple of days. Please be careful, the area around your ribs may be tender."

Hephaestion moves to sit up overtaken by a sudden soreness in his face. He grimaces at the pain as he allows the doctor to help him take the water.

In taking the drink, Hephaestion glances within the room, taking note of others who may be present in the tent. As if to read his thoughts, the surgeon explains to the general that the army had moved towards Susa and that the King was marching into the city to seize control of it and its treasury. He further informs the general, that Alexander had planned to move to Persepolis in a few days. The surgeon finally recommends to the Hephaestion to take in some broth and rest, assuring him that he would be up in a couple more days.

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_Later that early evening,_

The roar of a cheering crowd rouses Hephaestion from his sleep. He pulls himself up to hear the sounds of horses reining aside the tent.

"Alexander, come join us for drinks" calls out Cleitus, "Let us celebrate to our riches."

"You drink way to much my friend? Laughs Ptolemy "Your drunkenness will be the death of you one day."

"Come Alexander the men would welcome your presence," chimes in Seleucus, "especially if Cleitus is offering his good wine."

"A secret stash" laughs Alexander, "Well then..." The king is interrupted by his page informing him that the Hephaestion was awake. Without another word, Alexander hands off his reins and runs towards his tent.

"I would not expect the King to join us tonight" smiles Ptolemy throwing a subtle look at Perdiccas. Both generals had been weary of Hephaestion's decision to reconcile with the King and for days they had feared the possibility of another violent confrontation. But they placed their faith to the Gods and trust that whatever the outcome it would be for the best.

"No… he will be busy," half smiles Perdiccas, trying to mask his concern, as turns to his companions, "Come lets us find Cleitus' secret wine stash." But the young general does not move from his place; rather he lingers to listen for any sudden noises from within the tent. He stands silently until he feels a hand placed upon his shoulder. Perdiccas turns to it finds a soft smile from Ptolemy, motioning him to join the others. He reluctantly concedes looking back only once to affirm that all was well.

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Alexander is overcome with excitement upon receiving word of Hephaestion's condition. He bolts into the tent to find the general up and alert being tended by his pages with water and broth. Uncertain as to Hephaestion's reception, the King stands momentarily watching him until he catches a welcoming smile. Feeling confident, the King walks over Hephaestion waving for the pages to leave them alone.

"Joy to you Sire" smiles Hephaestion. "I understand you are a rich man now!"

"We have captured Darius treasury" responds the King carefully pulling a chair nearby. "I plan to take a small group to the Gates and will meet Parmenion and Cleitus with the rest of the army at Persepolis."

"We will march out soon."

"I had no plan to move until… I know you are better and well again."

"I am now." Shyly responds Hephaestion throwing a wink at the King.

But the moment is broken when within the background a metal item is heard clashing to the floor. Both men turn to catch Bagoas trying to make his way out of the tent. Before the King is able to react, Hephaestion places a hand to his knee, "It is okay. He has been very helpful to me today. Let him be Alexander. It is okay."

The King is simply taken in by Hephaestion touch to take any notice to what he had said. He gives no further regard towards Bagoas and diverts all his attention to the hand clasped upon his knee. Cautiously, he reaches out to it finding comfort. He then slowly slides it up his chest as he falls to his knees aside the bed.

"I am sorry Phai… I am sorry for everything. It was never…"

"Alexander, do you love me?"

Placing the general's hand to his heart, he looks tenderly at him, "I love no other more."

"Then we have an understanding."

"An understanding?, What do you mean? … replies the King slowly rubbing the general's hand within his.

"Alexander you do not need to give the boy up. I will not be made to be a jealous woman to you." explains Hephaestion with a small grin, "But do not parade him before me and make him understand his place…. Or I will".

"I would not dare the thought" laughs the King leaning further towards the cot raising his hand to caress his face. Hephaestion takes in the touch and nuzzles himself into the callused fingertips. "I have missed you. Phai."

Gently the King kneels up to bend towards the General and softly places a single tender kiss. Hephaestion moves to pull the king closer drawing the kiss to become deeper and more passionate. The tongues meet lapping in unison. Together their hands begin to roam leaving trails of sensation throughout their bodies. The general pulls away out of breath and staring thoughtfully at the King. "I do not have the strength yet my love," placing another small kiss, "Would you stay…if only to hold me?"

With a deep sigh of relief, the King leans in further for a kiss, "I would not ask for more. I can wait." Slowly, Hephaestion shifts himself in the cot tapping his hand onto it motioning the King to lay next him. Eagerly, Alexander takes up the offer and lies to the side placing his head upon Hephaestion's chest. He takes in the warmth of his lover body pushing forward as he feels Hepheastion's arm wrap around him to pull him in. In the silence of his heart, he promises to the gods to make sacrifices for the return of his lover. Together they lay in silence as the night blankets them into sleep.

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A few days past before Hephaestion is able to take any solid food. Alexander had been devoted and attentive to every need and request the general had required during his bed rest. The sudden attention amuses the general. With his injuries fully healed, the general is now up and moving about the camp and has managed to resume his duties having made assurance to the King of his restored health.

Sitting in his tent, Hephaestion was making arrangements for the final list of supplies and men needed for the scouting party in charge of searching out a possible alternative route around the Persian Gate. Alexander had finally agreed with Hephaestion to permit him to accompany Crateus' troop towards finding this passageway. The King had anticipated his plan for a frontal attack against the Satrap of Persis, Ariobarzanes through the Gate would take some time and effort to accomplish. Heavy losses were expected if an alternative path was not located. Already, Alexander had planned to split the army, with Parmenion leading the majority, to divide and counter the local resistance of nearby villages and decrease Ariobarzanes' manpower to hold the Gate. Hephaestion smiles to him in realizing the King was finally finding value in him as a warrior in his army.

"Do you have the strength now?" comes a voice from behind him. With a wide smile, recognizing the deep voice and the intent of question, he smartly responds, "Perhaps, if I can be persuaded." He notes the shadow of the figure approaching him, and relishes at the feel of strong arms wrapped around his chest. Warm kisses trickle down his neck as the King leans in to his ears, "I believe I can." Alexander turns Hephaestion to lift him off his chair while stepping forward for a hard and open kiss, unable to wait upon his lover's response. Alexander exertion towards Hephaestion causes him to trip back against the table he had been working on. The King is hungry for his lover and seeks only to reclaim him again. He hastily glides his hand down the side of his general's body as he rubs his body against him. He lifts Hephaestion chiton taking hold of his growing erection stroking it from the base to the tip feeling it grow to his touch. The moans from his lover inspire him further creating his own arousal. "Do you need any more persuasion?"

Pulling away, Hephaestion releases the pins to his chiton discarding it to the ground, and looks up to the King, "No!" pants the general, "Let us love each other as before."

"I love you Phai," breathlessly responds Alexander, as he shyly takes hold of his lover leading him to the cot where they revive and reaffirm themselves to each other once again.

TBC

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* This ends the chapters on Life with Bagoas ... time to move on... stay tune..


	8. Chapter 8 Death of Cleitus

_Chapter 7 – The Death of Cleitus_

_Back at the King's Residence in Susa – February 324_

Looking out to the athletes training in the arena, Alexander cannot help but smile widely taking in the sight of his lover's enthusiasm in the wrestling ring. Watching his lover, the King grins realizing Hephaestion's almost child like eagerness to participate in the upcoming games . The general had used all methods to convince Alexander to allow him to take part in the upcoming matches. The games were Hephaestion's idea to heal the King's army from the recent executions of the old guards. The execution had been in response to the uprising by the old veterans who had become resentful for being selected as among those to be sent home. Alexander fed up, finally contained the revolt by ordering the ringleaders put to death for conspiring to mutiny, for treason. Although Alexander had pardoned and paid out the debts of the remaining rank and file from the troops of his father's old army, a deep wedge had been created between the traditionalist of the Old Macedon ways and the activists for Alexander's new world. In hopes of bridging the gap, Alexander had arranged for a mass wedding in Susa, between the senior officers of his Macedonian army to Persian nobleman to create a unified and interracial bond. More importantly the mass marriages put into action his personal plan to create a blood line between Hephaestion and himself. Alexander had offered his Chiliarch the hand in marriage of Drypetis, the daughter of Darius and sister to his soon to be second wife, Stateira. Hephaestion marriage would make them brothers-in-law and Alexander uncle to his children. Together they had both hoped that a leader of Alexander's empire would one day be a "descendent of theirs".

Alexander had not expected Hephaestion to be so receptive to the idea of the mass wedding, in particular to his marriage to Drypetis. Upon his return from his meeting with the old guards, the King had planned for an intimate dinner with his general. Alexander smiles wickedly thinking back to the large effort and preparation put into creating a special meal of Hephaestion's favorite dish, chicken. But towards the end, the dinner was ignored as the lovers were more in appetite for each other, than anything else, throughout the entire evening. Alexander had anticipated another heated battle with his general once he had revealed his marriage plan to him. But to his surprise, Hephaestion only relished in the idea of being related to Alexander and prospects of creating off springs intermixed with their blood line. Although Hephaestion was not one to fancy women in particular, he was not ignorant to them. He would have some appreciation to having a wife. More so, Hephaestion was humbled to the King's request to have him join the royal family and wholeheartedly appreciated the unquestionable love Alexander had for him. Alexander silently moans as he reflects back to that night, recalling the heated passion and carnal desire expressed by his lover in both the acceptance and thankfulness of his marriage offer. The very thought of the evening arouses the King. But his thoughts are brought to the present when he feels a hand placed on his shoulder.

"Alexander. Alexander?" repeats Eumenes, "Several of the men have inquired if they would be permitted to wear the traditional Macedonian attire?"

The King stares bemused at his secretary's question trying to determine the context of it. He notes how Eumenes has not aged a day since meeting him in his father's office, what seems a lifetime ago. The secretary was no more than perhaps 10 summers older than him, but he always handled himself as a big brother to Alexander. To the King, Eumenes was diligent in daily operations of his army and men. He was meticulous in managing the expenses and vast treasures accumulated by Alexander now moving city army. Though Eumenes had never set foot upon a battlefield, he had seen himself in equal footing to all his companions and zealously demanded the same respect. As the King, he held high regard for his secretary and found his work to be exceptional and reliable. But as Alexander, his only vice with the man was Eumenes' deep seeded animosity towards Hephaestion and for that reason alone he held some resentment against him.

"Alexander, are you in acceptance to the Macedonian attire during the wedding?" further inquires the jagged faced secretary.

"Yes that is fine but be sure that the men look their best, no exception."

"As for the musicians, I have arranged for a renowned flutist from Athens to arrive in a day or two. I will make all the arrangement for him along with the others as they arrive."

"Very well" responds the King as his attention is quickly diverted when he notices Hephaestion's naked body running across the grounds to the nearby bathing house. Alexander springs from his seat as if to join his friend, but his sudden reaction only alerts his over eager guards creating a small commotion within the training area. The uproar from the stands attracts Hephaestion who changes his course and runs towards to greet the King. Alexander takes note of his lover's arrival and quickly waves off the guards now standing before him as if prepared for battle.

"Joy to you Sire" smiles the Chiliarch

"You looked good out there." Teases Alexander, "you may still have some youth in you left from our days in Mieza"

"Would you care to personally see for yourself?" as Hephaestion steps aside to swing his hand towards the training ring, "I will see to it that you get a fair match."

"Perhaps you can show me later" nods the King, "Someone must look after this army and empire. I do not have the time to indulge in such exercises." And with a small grin, "But I will be sure to seek you out when I am available."

"Yes your King." Hephaestion smiles mockingly bowing to the king.

"Very well, I do expect to see you in my office immediately after you have bathed." Subtlety winks the king. Without having to wait for a response, Alexander steps off his seat and heads back towards the palace.

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The doors to his chambers open silently without any announcement from his guards identifying his visitor. Sudden warmth enters the room as the King looks up from his paperwork to see Hephaestion strolling in as if he had just happened to enter into a shop to review the merchandise. Alexander gazes over his scroll ignoring the others loitering over his desk to watch the Chiliarch linger in the back of the room picking up various vases and laid out documents. The King leans forward to admire Hephaestion dressed in a blue and purple loosely tied robe overlaying his white chiton. The colors against the general's tan skin and blue eyes only exemplify his natural beauty. He patiently waits to catch a loving glance from the Chiliarch to give him final reason to remove the excess bodies in the room. Alexander calls out to Hephaestion motioning him to step forward as he waves the others to leave the room.

Hephaestion meanders towards the King stopping at the table to fill up two cups of wine. As soon as the room is emptied, he finally approaches his lover. Hephaestion hands the other cup to the King, and takes a sip of his own while looking at Alexander, "You wanted to see me Sire," he whispers, staring intently at him.

"You are late!"

"You were busy!"

Alexander sets aside both his wine cup and Hephaestion before stepping forward to take a full and mouthful kiss. Their lips touch before their hands enwrap themselves together to bring them in. Alexander intertwines his fingers around the back of Hephaestion's long hair while taking his other hand to pull down his robe. While Hephaestion has wrapped his hands around Alexander's waist bringing them under and up his robe to caresses his back. The King manages to pull down his lover's robe as Hephastion struggles to untie the King's with one hand. Impatient for more of a physical contact, the Chiliarch rips apart the King's robe as he tosses it to the ground. The feel of their bodies pressed against each other inflames them into wanting more. Hephaestion withdraws his kisses to turn the King with his back to his desk. He then glides down the King's neck sucking it as he draws blood. He descends towards his chest kissing each nipple as he slides his hand over Alexander's trousers to pull them gently down as he makes his way further to his stomach then to his navel. He slowly takes his hands to tenderly graze the outer thigh to direct them into his inner area as he places his lips at the tip of Alexander's erection taking him, teasing him with his tongue and stroking him with his hand. The sensation throws Alexander back as he grips the table trying to steady himself as he thrust into the warmth of Hephaestion's mouth. He quickly pulls Hephaestion up to face him as he feels himself ready to release and dives into a deep and long kiss. Without breaking contact, Alexander steps out of his trousers and leads his lover to this bed chamber.

In their efforts to rush towards the bed, the lovers crash into various items in their path. In one instance, they had landed atop a center table in which Alexander managed to anxiously remove the last of his lover's article of clothing.

They finally reach the bed only to continue in their battle of dominance as each man struggles to take hold, to tease and to divulge the other into submission. Always, in having more strength, Alexander manages to squeeze his lover down with his knees. He stares down at Hephaestion eager to feel himself inside his lover. He lays Hephaestion's arms above his head kissing him down his neck his nipples lapping his tongue around them. He then sits up to grab a hand full of oil and coats his lover's chest, stomach and erection before himself. Alexander allows himself to slide into place as he pushes himself slowly into his lover gauging his reaction and finding his spot. Upon seeing his lover arch to his second thrust, he pulls out again to the tip and pushes hard and deeper. Soon a rhythm is created between them as Alexander grabs hold of Hephaestion to match his force. The soft whisper of Alexander's name encourages him further as if he was trying to run and catch his lover. He finally feels himself release roaring his lover's name as he Hephaestion responds the same as his lets himself go.

Alexander moves up to his lover's lip giving a soft kiss and he slowly withdraws to lay on Hephaestion's side. Smiling, Alexander turns to move closer, "I told you I would beat you one day."

"It was worth the wait Alexander" breathes in Hephaestion, "But I wouldn't mind a rematch." as he pulls in the King to place his head to his heart as they both catch their breath. "I love you Xander" he yawns as Hephaestion allows his body to rest from a hard day of exercises.

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As Hephaestion sleep, Alexander carefully sits up to admire his lover's body. After all their years together, he is unable to deny the beauty and strength held by Hephaestion physique and form. A shadow of sadness creeps over the King as he traces the counters of Hephaestion's body. He stares at the scars and rough lines etched over his lover's body. It is as this moment, he takes in the realization that Hephaestion's body was a roadmap of his campaign. Tenderly, he touches upon the scar above Hephaestion's forehead from Grancius, the slash from a sword in Issus, the spear wound from Gaugamela and the knife gash below his rib after Cleitus' death.

Alexander places a hand over the jagged scar as if to heal it. He gives a deep sigh calling into mind the horrid night that he almost forever lost his lover. The night the King killed Cleitus.

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_The Death of Cleitus - Spitamenes, autumn 328 BC (Alexander's POV)_

_TBC_


	9. Chapter 9 Death of Cleitus Rekindled L

_Hi All! I guess better late than never - Sorry for the delay - I will blame Santa - LOL! Hope you enjoy these upcoming chapters! Oh yeah Happy New Year! _

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_Chapter 9 - Death of Cleitus - Rekindled Love_

_Maracanda, Autumn 328 BC_

In the distant horizon the large dust cloud can be seen engulfing the landscape. Hephaestion stood anxiously nearby the King's pavilion anticipating the arrival of his Alexander. He places a hand over his brow trying to focus on the approaching riders. He watches as a single rider breaks from the group of horsemen. A large dark black horse comes into view leading the pack. This rider is crouched low gripping tightly to the reins as he rides in unison with the large beast. To look upon the rider and horse one could imagine the strength of the gods illuminating behind them. It is a frightful sight as the large horse loudly neighs towards the General with its thunderous hoof beating upon the ground. Hephaestion looks on in amusement as the King makes a grand entrance into the parameters of the campsite. Instantly, he takes in the sound of a distant laughter echoing in the air. As always, the young General would recognize and distinguish his lover's presence and voice in any crowded room or entrenched in a fierce battle. In his heart, he is convinced that even in silence he could sense and detect his lover's thoughts and feelings without a single word spoken. This is what has become of their relationship through the years; they were one in the same, the existence of one man merging with the other.

As the entire group of riders harness their horses into the camp site, it is obvious to those observing that it had been a race with a clear winner and the King could be heard relishing in the moment. As the black horse canters before the pavilion, Alexander pulls hard on the reins causing Bucephalas to buckle and lift up its hind legs in the air. Hephaestion smirks nodding his head at the hilarity of theatrical entrance by a very dramatic performer. This was an old trick installed by Alexander to be used in battle to fight off other riders, and apparently, was now to be used as a symbol of a triumph victory over his companions.

Hephaestion looks upon his lover with a large grin holding back his desire to pull the King off his horse and drag him into his tent. Still riding atop his old yet intrepid beast, Alexander looks out and instantly catches sight of the general. He quickly reins his horse into a circle and paces it up to his lover.

"General Amyntor!" joyfully calls out the King, "I had no expected you until the morning."

Grabbing hold of Bucephalas' mane, Hephaestion tenderly strokes the horse's face. "We returned as soon as I received your urgent message" announces the general, "you had requested for my prompt return… and of course…"

"Of course you are not one to deny the King!" cuts Alexander, "And so now you are here!" Enthusiastically, the King leaps off his horse and swings an arm around his general while handling the horse to a nearby page.

"It is good to see you!" leans in the King, "Three months is far too long to be away…"

"From the King or from you", humorously inquires Hephaestion staring into his lover, "Who do you think missed me the most?"

"It has been both, but I must admit," stops Alexander to turn face forward to his lover, "It is I, your Alexander who longs for you the most."

"So _you_ have missed me" whispers Hephaestion wickedly, "Perhaps you would like to show me…"

The men are interrupted as the other riders pull into the camp behind them. "Hephaestion!" calls out Ptolemy "You have found your way back to the main army?" as the tall sun burnt general leaps off his horse, to hastily tug his friend forward to throw an arm around him, "When did you get back?"

"Where is Perdiccas?" chimes in Seleucus, "He had written that you had been presented with a large gift of top quality wine during this latest mission of yours!"

"Ahh.. the barrels of red wine!" smiles Hephaestion, "a local tribal leader had been quite generous to offer his whole supply in hopes of persuading Perdiccas to marry his young daughter."

"She was only 10 summers in age!" jokingly adds Seleucus, "Way too old for Perdiccas"

"And for you Hephaestion?" interjects Ptolemy, "What dowry was given to you for their offer of marriage to their daughters?" Hephaestion's faces blushes bright red. It was a true assertion that the General was unable to refute. Several local tribesmen had been desperate in their offers of marriage bestowing upon the General vast quantity of gifts including packs of horses, barrels of wines and precious metals for Hephaestion's consent to marry one of their daughters. Unfortunately for the General, word of these offers had preceded his arrival and now the camp gossip had spread through like wild fire, taking on a life of its own.

"Yes, I hear one of them looked like Cleitus in women clothing" teases Seleucus, "But a large and uglier version!"

"I can have her offered to you Seleucus should you so desire her!" responds Hephaestion, "I believe I can get the tribe leader to consider another of the Great King's fine general, though you do look more to be a sun roasted, under nourished and ratted flaring red haired land creature."

"Nay Hephaestion, you are far too pretty for me to compete." counters Seleucus, "It would appear again that you have captivated the locals with your splendor and beauty."

"General Amnytor has no time to consider marriage" protests the King, "He is already married… vowed to me.. and this army.." With the last comment, Hephaestion sharply glares at the King in surprise. An awkward silence lingers in the air between the two lovers. To finally break the silence, Hephaestion laughs, "Are you not already betrothed my great King? Looking away to avoid any slighted glances, "Have you already forgotten the "Little Star" you are set to marry next season?" 

"I have not forgotten nor have I over sighted the political purpose of the marriage. It will bring peace and perhaps beget me an heir," counters Alexander bashfully, "You know her place in my heart." Softly whispers the King into his General's ear.

"Alexander, do not play coy with me" teases the general, "I have seen how you fell for her when you caught sight of Roxanne among the captives at Sogdiana. But alas, my King, as always you will only follow what your heart tells you!"

"Phai!!" protests Alexander, "Do I detect jealously in your tone? My love, there is no other but you… and.."

"I do not need to be coddled my love", firmly replies Hepheastion as he takes a step forward away from the others, "Have I not already agreed to be your torch bearer during the union ceremony?!"

Without any further regards to the other approaching riders, the lovers silently enter into the King's pavilion. The companions take it upon the King and General's departure as their cue to search out other forms of entertainment. Once reaching within the confine of the grand tent, Alexander releases his hold of the General. He strides across the room and casually steps near his bathing area where the pages quickly surround him. The King stands looking straight on at the General and with a wide grin; he stretches out his arms to his pages as they slowly begin to disrobe him. Unfazed by those fussing around him, the King turns around, with his back to this General, and begins to drill him with a barrage of questions, "So tell me, was your mission a final success? What have the locales offered… other than a marriage proposal?"

Hephaestion initially walks towards an adjacent table to pour himself a cup of wine. As he turns to respond, he is amused to see the King standing naked before him. He hears the question put before him and walks over to casually respond, "The local tribes have willing offered their allegiance and have agreed to send further supplies to replenish our inventories. If I may also add, the final stages of the construction of "Alexandria Eschate" have been completed."

"Excellent news!" responds Alexander excitedly as he motions for a page to step forward. "I would expect Aristotle will be amused that I have built a city near the border between Asia and Europe. Jaxartes will serve as the northern border of my empire." With a small wet cloth in hand, the page gently reaches out to wash down the King's body. Hephaestion stands enthralled at the sight before him. The shimmering body of his lover permeates a mixture of beauty and strength. The battle scars and bruises fail to blemish the well sculptured body before him; rather they seem to add to the magnetism of Alexander's quality. But without a doubt, as Hephaestion stares fixedly at his lover's well tone muscular form, his internal consciousness for another person is suddenly aroused from their dormant state. For three months, the General had been depriving himself of any feelings of desire and need for any human touch, but now he was eager to be satisfied. There was no denying that the long separation between the General and his king was beginning to take its toll on their relationship. No longer were they fighting against each other to ensure their love and devotion; but rather battling against time. There was simply no time shared between the lovers, the thought of a simple moment in their lives in which they could spend together was as remote and distant as Pella itself. Since Alexander's initiation of his campaign against the last of Darius' murderers, Spitamenes, Hephaestion had found himself consumed with both the logistic organization of the military supplies and forts throughout the newly conquered regions and commanding forces against the opposition. Alexander on the other hand has been preoccupied and pushed to the edge in fighting an unseen enemy. This adversary would test the King's patience beyond those used against Tyre and created tactical challenges for Alexander, never used against any former enemy including King Darius. Alexander was finding himself adjusting his military strategies of the hammer and the anvil to a more "nomadic" approach, of encircling the enemy with a mobile force of archers, light troops and cavalry. Spitamenes, the former courtier of Sogdiana, had been relentless in raising revolts against Alexander from the Northern regions including Sogdians, Bactrians and Scythians.

In spite of this, what overpowered the King's mental and physical endurance was the composition of this particular campaign. This warfare was different from the Battles of Issus or Guagamela, because it was against the very people of the region as a whole. The King had found himself not waging battles against a large and vast standing army, but rather with small bands of rebel forces comprised of not only of the men of the tribes but also their women, their children and the elderly. The enemy stood camouflaged within the local tribes throughout the unknown territory, and as a consequence caused the usual strategist King to jump sporadically throughout the region to control and detain hostilities. Consequently, a full season would pass then another, until a year had escaped between the lovers, leaving a gap too large to fill with sparse moments of intimacy.

There was no refuting the simple basis of their love remained unscathed by the recent events or lack thereof. However, the intensity and the passion grounded in their intimacy had in all appearance began to wane. They were more loving friends than intimate lovers. Though the innuendos would be hinted between them with a whisper here and a gesture there; the substantial physically union had dissipated until it seemed more to be a distant memory than a reality of their existing relationship. However, truth be told, after the Rock of Sogdiana, Hephaestion was unable to idly stand by the sidelines as the King once again gave his heart to another. In response to the King's impending matrimonial union, the General occupied himself with taking on one mission after another.

It was during Hephaestion's most recent mission was an effort finally made by both men to "revive" what had been lost. Surprisingly, the initiator of this _revival_ towards the path of rediscovery came from the King himself. It began with the first correspondences sent to the General indicating that he had been missed not as a commander but as a friend and lover. Then the General began to receive scrolls upon scrolls from the King professing his undying love and desire. At first the written letters had taken Hephaestion aback uncertain as to what would invoke a sudden turn of events. In his correspondence, Alexander had confessed that his rekindled desire had been sparked by the duration of this particular mission, as it had been longer than any other. This mission had passed the two month mark and was soon entering into its third without any possibility of a future reunion in sight. But Hephaestion's instincts suspect the King's need to renew their "love" was inspired by a combination of factors some of which included the gossips of the general taking on a lover, the ill will held by his army of the King's new "barbarian" wife, or perhaps that Hephaestion was proving to be a warrior in his own right having grown outside the shadow of the King. Irregardless of the cause, the scrolls had inspired hope in Hephaestion and now with his return, he would disallow himself to hesitate from reconnecting and rejuvenating the _Love_ that had been lost between them. As he watches the King take his "wash down", Hephaestion smiles wickedly as he stands sipping the last of his wine and sets it down to step forward towards the King.

"That is wonderful news Phai" responds the King, "I want to the integration with the army with the locals to be…."

The King's thoughts are interrupted when he feels strong calloused hands gently move the wet cloth down his chest. Instantly he recognizes the new touches and leans slightly back to welcome warm kisses down the nape of his neck. Alexander turns to catch sight of the pages scurrying out of the tent and Hephaestion standing bare before him. "You are naked!" whispers the King with a glint in his eyes and wide silent grin.

"You are to tempting to not behold as you stand before me so exposed and vulnerable." Softly speaks Hephaestion as he steps closer into his lover to place a soft kiss on his ear, "I have been gone far too long from you Alexander to stand back and simply watch."

Taking in the kisses, Alexander leans back to feel the arousal tapping against his back, "I was wondering why you were taking your time to approach me." pants the King, "I do not think I would have been able to restrain myself any further…I was ready to"

Hephaestion's hand tenderly goes down the side of Alexander's body as he moves it around him to find his erection. The General cups and strokes the King into a slow rhythm until he feels him extracting the natural juices of his body. The touch breaks the King to turn to face his lover. Unable to hold back the sensation building up, Alexander turns smashing his face together with the desperate lips of his lover. For a moment the lovers are entangled in a strong embrace relishing in the touch and the warmth exuding from each other. Without releasing his hold, Alexander guiles his lover backup towards his bed.

The King leans Hephaestion down onto his bed and he begins to see for the first time what he had been missing for almost a year. Gazing down at the naked form before him, Alexander ponders briefly upon the awkwardness he felt towards his long time lover. It all seemed strange now but not so long ago; Alexander had found himself unable to overcome his fear of sharing his concerns and love with Hephaestion. He had looked upon this giddiness of a sudden need of adoration as weakness and to adolescent for this nature. But he needed to profess it before he lost his lover to the elements of their daily lives. His final outlet was his secret outpouring in the voluminous amount of scrolls he had written to his lover during their recent separation. Yet at the very moment as he stares at the only person who will forever hold his heart, he again struggles to find the words to express anything of substance. Simply put, the distance between them had made the King yearn for his general. It was only during Hephaestion's absence would he fully come to appreciate and realize that his lover was the only person of real value to him. It would seem that he loved Hephaestion more when they were apart and now reunited he once again found it necessary to redefine their relationship into a whole new level.

Without a word, Alexander continues to look down at his lover transfixed at the sight before him. The deep blue cerulean eyes staring back at him takes hold of his breath. For a brief interlude, an avalanche of emotions stirs within him. How did Hephaestion and those ocean eyes of truth now look upon his character? Long are the days of their innocent youth that have quickly moved passed them. Was he now seen by these very eyes as a great king, a malevolent tyrant or perhaps a lost soul. But among all these designations was he still Hephaestion's lover?

Alexander places his hand upon the warm body and feels a connection long since escaping them. He had not known what he was to expect when Hephastion had returned from his hunt and upon seeing his lover standing before his pavilion he was once more faced with mixed emotions of excitement and uncertainty. The King was fully aware that his written scrolls held no guarantees of reopening a door of possibilities.

For months, Alexander has been concerned with this campaign and inadvertently allowed Hephaestion to slip away. It was no fault of either man, just the inevitability of their current lives.

Or perhaps, Alexander had pushed Hephaestion away to allot him space in order to avoid hurting him. With this perception, the King's expression suddenly goes somber upon the thought that the once best friends and close lovers had begun to grow apart and the crack breaking them was growing each day that passed. The King cringes and immediately closes his eyes tightly to take in the actuality of the moment and once again comes to accept that the lapse of the current state of their relationship lay solely with him.

Sorrowfully, Alexander accepts upon himself that the daily life of the army and of ruling of his new vast empire had distracted him away from the other half of his existence. For the past three years, as King he had been in a world of his own shifting his focus from the capture of Bessus to spending almost the past two seasons containing the revolts led by Spitamenes. Life as the king had begun to become overwhelming and unpredictable. Most recently, the King had abruptly returned from Alexandria Eschate when he received word that Spitamenes was leading Sogdiana against him and blockading his garrison in Maracanda. Initially, Alexander had sent reinforcements to handle the situation; however, his men were outmaneuvered, ambushed and killed leaving only 40 cavalry and 300 infantry to survive. Enraged, Alexander had personally led his army 185 miles in three days to "obliterate" Spitamenes, who had again returned to besiege Maracanda; but to his disappointment, the former Persian Courtier had disappeared. To appease the infuriated King, those locals' natives who had remained and joined Spitamenes' attack against the Macedonian garrison were slaughtered. Eventually, Alexander would decide to stay a winter at Zariaspa in Bactria where he would divide his army among his companions to defeat all resistance in Sogdiana. It was during his capture of the Rock of Sogdiana did the King encounter his future wife. But the wedding plans would be delayed until Spitamenes could be contained and as a result Alexander had returned to Maracanda to regroup his men. In the interim, Alexander had sent Hephaestion back to "Alexandria Eschate" to resume the construction of the city and later assigned him as a key delegate in organizing the envoys from the various local tribes including the European Scythians and the King of Chorasmians. Now with his rear secured, Alexander was now focused on destroying Spitamenes, marching towards India and most importantly to rekindles his relationship with Hephaestion; if only to solidify it before his upcoming nuptials.

Once again the King's mind is racing with thoughts of his campaign, Sensing Alexander's hesitation and withdrawal, Hephaestion sits up and slowly pulls his lover towards him. As if awoken from a dream, Alexander flashes his eyes open and with a look of confusion and disorientation, he calmly is reintroduced to his surroundings.

"Where are you Alexander?" whispers Hephaestion with a concerned look as he begins to slide off the bed, "If now is not the time for us, then perhaps…"

"NO!" cries out Alexander as he moves up to wrap his arms around his lover leaning forward with kisses to his cheek down to his neck, "two months is far too long for you to be away on assignment"

With a soft chuckle, "Perhaps you can talk to my King" teases Hephaestion, "he has been obstinate in sending me away and…"

"You are wrong my love!" counters Alexander, "It is just…. It has been so long between us.."

Feeling fear and his insecurities taking over his fragile confidence, Hephaestion again shifts slightly back as if to prepare himself for disappointment, "Are your thoughts now of doubt?" sadly murmurs the General, "I know that we have been distant as of late, and should you feel otherwise of this …"

"NEVER!" exclaims Alexander pushing Hephaestion down on the bed taking him in to kiss his lips passionately and deeply, "I had only thoughts of reclaiming what is mine… ours again. Gods Phai! I have missed you!!"

"As have I Alexander…" softly replies Hephaestion, as he falls back into the bed to close his eyes. The feel of his lover's warmth over him encapsulates his body, mind and spirit. "I have missed us!"

Alexander looks up at his lover and to watch him submit to their love inspires the King. The gentle warmth that consumes his mental thought and physical body releases his fears and once again invigorate him with love. "I love you" comes a whisper to an ear as each man searches out and discovers what had been lost between them. For that brief time, the outside world becomes insignificant and irrelevant except to those confined in this very personal and closed universe.

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Outside the King's pavilion, under the heat of the setting sun, the short stocky secretary waits impatiently to be summoned into the tent. Though Eumenes had witnessed the General and the King stroll into the tent earlier in the day, he had thought it to be nothing more than a brief meeting. The old secretary was more aware than the others of the drifting relationship between General Amyntor and the King. For some time, Eumenes had joyfully watched the two lovers take upon separate lives and eagerly anticipated its final demise shortly before the King's wedding. However, the day had passed into the late afternoon and the General had yet to emerge out of the tent. Silently the secretary curses at the King for his ignorance in prioritizing his duties and responsibilities to his army and to his ever growing empire. As it had always been the case, Hepheastion's presence was a constant distraction and interruption in Eumene's ability to perform his job proficiently.

Alexander had been on the constant move during the past months destroying villages, building new cities and consolidating new alliances; all of which was becoming a daunting task on the secretary to maintain and adequately finance. Though Alexander's campaign had more than adequate funding to support any endeavor he sought, his constant mobilization and altering plans was overstretching the secretary's staff. It was not to say that Eumenes was incompetent to perform his own duties, on the contrary he was more than capable; however, he was not the King and the final word on all matters lay with Alexander.

On the King's own request, the secretary had worked tirelessly throughout the night to prepare for his mid-day meeting with Alexander. There was an array of areas to be covered concerning Alexander's ever-growing campaign. With the full army reunited back at Maracanda and the allegiances set, Alexander now had his eyes set on India. This new campaign would require careful planning and strategizing; however, Eumenes failed to see its likelihood if Spitamenes was still free roaming the region around them. In addition, Alexander had recently been notified by Artabazus of his request to retire as satrap of Bactria and the King had yet to name a replacement. Lastly, there was the issue of the final details of the plans for a conference of the command to be held tomorrow followed by an elaborate banquet to the God Dionysus. Eumenes had only recently been informed of these upcoming later events early this morning and the King had been insistent that they be finalized by the last call of the day's trumpet.

Once again lost in thought, the secretary steps up to the King's guards and with a scowling glare he declares, "Now listen to me, let me pass, the King is expecting me!" Without a look of recognition, the guards ignore the tiny man, "If you do not let me in, I will see to it that the King has you flogged for your impudence." Again the man is met with silence only fueling his heightened annoyance and agitation. "To Hera tits with you Hephaestion" curses Eumenes under his breath causing a small smirk from one of the guards, "I quickly grow tired of you…"

Before he is able to complete his thought, Eumenes' attention is drawn away with the sound of distant laughter. In a clearing, a few steps away, a group of men can be seen sitting under a nearby canopy watching in amusement as Eumenes flings his arms aimlessly at the guards mumbling incoherently under his breath. As they watch from their place, to the companions, the Secretary looked more to be babbling parrot, then a member of the high court, as he frantically tries to persuade the King's guards to concede to his demands.

"Come Eumenes!" calls out Ptolemy unable to take any more of the spectacle before him, "I do believe the sun is influencing your ability to realize that the King is currently not available for an audience."

"Yes join us!" chimes out Lennatus, "With all that pacing you will soon find yourself digging a trench before the King's tent. Then how will we be able to find you buried in the ground."

Though utterly annoyed beyond words, the secretary submits, and stalks over to the lounging men. He roughly grabs hold of the bowl of wine being offered by Seleucus and sulks down onto a near by stool.

"What troubles you?" finally inquires Lennatus, "You nervousness reminds me of Seleucus before the hetaera's tent waiting his turn."

"You don't expect the King to be your personal Hetaera!" laughs Seleucus out loud, "You should already know he only takes comfort with one man… well maybe one and a half. Is a eunuch still considered a man?"

"Do you wish to displace the good General Amyntor?" teases Ptolemy "You may find yourself old and gray before that day comes Eumenes. I do believe you are far too old to be the King's erastes!"

"And far to ugly and crusty" calls out Perdiccas as he walks up to settle down on a nearby log, waving towards the page for a bowl of wine.

"Speaking of the use of a hetaera" interjects Ptolemy, "Perdiccas, I see it took you no time to _resettle_ yourself back into camp life. I presume you will not be reconsidering the tribes offer for their daughter's hand in marriage?"

"Imagine it Perdiccas, you could be the Great King of the mountain men of this region!" jokes Lennatus, "Though you would have to forego your horse for a camel. But perhaps then … you could better lead a charge…"

"Aye! I think he is a new man now" laughs Seleucus, "now that his dipping stick has been satisfied."

The jibes and taunting takes a downward spiral turn involving attacks on personal character and sexual preferences. Eumenes watches the men around him un-amused and dismayed. "How you all manage to lead men into battle I will never understand" frowns Eumenes, "This conversation has managed to be sullied in a manner of a few minutes."

"Perhaps if you actual fought in a battle" counters Lennatus "You would understand us far better."

Reaching out to ease his comrade, the older general turns to the secretary, "Eumenes be calm" states Ptolemy, his own annoyance surfacing in his tone, "It is but a lighthearted tease. You of all should understand a little distraction does no harm."

"With all that has transpired these past days, I see no reason for such playfulness." retorts the secretary, "These are serious days my generals. Our king should be focusing on real and important matters other than his so called meeting with General Amyntor." Eumenes steps off his stool and looks down on the companions. "Are you not concern of Aristander's prophecy of an upcoming bad omen. I fear that dark days are among us men and we should be keener to our surroundings. The King most of all should heed to the warnings. General Amnytor is nothing but an unnecessary diversion to more serious issues."

"Eumenes you dare to provoke the Gods based solely on your lovesick jealously towards General Amnytor" angrily remarks Perdiccas, as he steps up along with Ptolemy to face the secretary, "Should any harm befall Hepheastion as a result of your silent desires to win the King over, I will personally see to it that you feel the tip of my sword driven into your chest."

"Perdiccas sit down!" reaches out Seleucus to pull his friend down, "Eumenes has no malice towards Hephaestion. It is just the heat of the region that cuts through our patience. We have all been drained to our core with the recent battles against the local insurgents. Do not worry. No ill fate will come to any of us!"

"Of course I mean no ill will towards Hephaestion" intently replies the secretary, "I only mean to alert you of Aristander's warnings to Alexander." And with a mocking bow, Eumenes turns briskly around and walks away from the companions.

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The morning ride with only Hephaestion and a few guards had been the release Alexander needed to start off his day. The King was beginning to feel the exhaustion of his recent 185 mile march and lion hunt in the game reserve of Baziar. Alexander smiles calling into mind his single handed kill of the fierce lioness during this enormous lion hunt. With Alexander's countless battle victories and regional conquest, there was no doubt in his mind he was outdoing his divine ancestor Herakles and only pleasing his true father Zeus-Amman with his strength and preservation. His destiny had been laid out by the gods themselves and his confidence in this only inspired his push for more. Now sitting under the shade of a large tree, the King lays back propped on his elbow as he stares longingly at his lover, strategizing how he will seize and conquer his General without prying eyes.

As Alexander lies back down, he smiles calling into mind he evening with Hephaestion, Alone and isolated from the outside world, the previous evening had proven to be what the two lovers needed. Their quiet and intimate escape together had given way for a complete and gratifying rediscovery of their love towards each other. Alexander beams perversely reminiscing the continued rounds of intimacy shared between them. The whole night was set reclaiming the interval of time lost during the past year, and not since their youth have the lovers been so aggressive, carnal and nefarious towards one another.

"The calmness of the region eludes the hidden dangers lurking beyond the Northern Mountains" observes Hephaestion, breaking the King's thoughts. Along with the General, they both look towards the Polytimetus River cascading over by the ridges of the Sogdia mountains. The King flinches staring out at the river trying to hold back the thought of the massacre of his men as they tried to cross the waterway. He swears silently in his heart for revenge of his killed brothers and promises a slow and unmerciful death for Spitamenes. Watching a large blood vein on Alexander's forehead turn into a hard knot, Hephaestion reaches out realizing the King's thoughts, "We will soon leave this place with its dark memories and head towards India. _But_, before we depart, the Gods will see to it that the shades of your men are set aright for the atrocity befallen upon them by your enemies."

"You know this to be true Phai, I will not rest until I have Spitamenes' head on a platter." studiously proclaims Alexander, "I will crush them all in this wretched land!"

"As you will Alexander… I have not doubt" confidently replies Hephaestion looking back at his lover. He smiles staring at his personal God. Though dressed in Persian robes and looking every bit the Great King, the General cannot help but wonder of the man behind the dark eyes. There was no question of the strength and fire that intensely burned within them and never has the zest for his destiny for living life wavered. Alexander on no account ceased to live life in perfect symmetry of his dream and his desire; though at times he may be lost to them, he remained focused and steadfast in his purpose as the leader of his new nation. But sadly he realizes then that his Alexander was changing with the wave of the times and silently he fears he will soon lose him to his dream. Yet, through the changes, Hephaestion love will never falter and until his dying day, he would do all in his power to ensure Alexander's dreams were fulfilled. Without a word, the General leans forward to place a heated kiss to convey his silent promise upon his lover.

Catching his lover's stare, Alexander attempts to interpret whether the eyes held a trace of pleasure or regret. Alexander looks upon his General and wonders silently to what the other man had come to realize of his new personage. As it had been, during their separation, Alexander had become all to engulf in fulfilling his role as the new King of Persia. Having fully embracing their traditions, their dress, their soldiers and soon their women, Alexander was aware of his evolution away from becoming solely a King of Macedonia and even further from the prince and Alexander of the days of Mieza. Alexander was not naïve to the grumblings of those who disagreed with his submersion into his position as "the Great King". Consequently, he recognized the strife growing among his men as he took on the customs of his conquered people and integration of the new with the old world. But as time went one and he remained undefeated against all those who challenged him; Alexander held only apathy for others who did not believe in him. He firmly knew his future and found his faith in the Gods ever growing in a self-belief that he was destined for greatest not as a mere mortal, but as a son of Zeus-Amman. He self-confidently now saw himself in line with the Gods themselves. There was no question he was surpassing his ancestors and setting his own mark in history. Yet when it came to Hephaestion, with their love, it came in the form of feelings and desires only captured and understood by Alexander, the mere mortal, and for that the Great King was ever humbled and grateful to it. He had every intention of having his lover, his best friend and his soul mate at his side both here on earth and beyond.

The touch of Hephaestion lips arouses the King and he becomes distracted from his thoughts. Before long, the King is pulling his lover above him as if to join them as one, and again attempts to lure him away from the reality of the outside world. To Alexander's disappointment, Hephaestion withdraws and regretfully whispers "We should return to camp. There is much to do before your council with the commanders."

"They cannot start without me" smartly grins the King, "I believe it was I who had called for the meeting… I see no reason in delaying it for…"

"As enticing as it would be to spend all day here. I will not see myself as the "distraction" that causes your generals and commanders up in arms and enraged for the unnecessary postponement of such an important conference."

The King dismisses Hephaestion's comment with a wave of his hand. "Soon the conquest of India will be the next stage of the campaign and the generals will again find themselves busy with other matters." casually remarks Alexander, "I would hope after the wedding… we would move on…" a look of shock surfaces on the King's face unable to stop the words from churning out. His constant insensitivity of pointing out the approaching matrimony dumbfounds the King. Looking up sorrowfully to his lover, "I am sorry Phai… I did not intend to bring up my…"

"No need Alexander ... it is the ways of our world" meekly smiles Hephastion. "You need an heir and I am relieved it is with someone you love."

Without haste, the King pushes himself up to sit next to his lover. "It is not love... it may be... but it could never compare for the one I have for you," pleas Alexander wrapping his arm around Hephaestion's waist.

"Things are… as they should be Alexander. It is the fates of the Gods," leans in Hephaestion, "I do not hold upon you any animosity. Your empire will soon have a queen worthy of its Great King and with the Gods blessing, a strong son to reinforce your reign over your vast empire."

"Phai, why must I continuously subject you with heart break…" whispers Alexander, "In all matters I can exceed and outdo that which is expected… but with you… I find myself stumbling like a feeble wretched fool."

"Alexander this downhearted, self deprecating tone is unbecoming of you," teases Hephaestion, "Come" playfully pushing the King away, "You did not call me out here to self wallow. You are too proud and all too self glorifying to make me believe you regret anything you do in your life."

Taking hold of his lover's face between the palms of his hands, he fixes his gaze, "As I have said before, Alexander, I knew the consequences of choosing to be with you and accepted them all because I love you. That has and will never change."

"Your love is the warmest place that ever shines upon me" whispers Alexander, "without it I would be lost and in complete darkness."

With a warm smile, Hephaestion again pulls away, "Alexander do you intend to discuss with me what you have planned for the Conference of Command tonight? Have you made your decision regarding Artabazus' replacement over the province of Bactria?"

With a smirk on his face, the King sits up and looks seriously and excitedly at his General, "I have and I …"

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It is late mid-day when Eumenes observes the King and his general returning back from their early morning outing. The secretary had waited again impatiently for an audience with the King. Another day has passed and with half the day lost, the Eumenes regrettably expects to find himself frantically organizing the last minute request of the capricious King. Walking up to the riders with a wide smile to conceal his irritation, the secretary's mood only further darkens as he approaches the obviously relaxed and jovial pair.

"Eumenes!" calls out Alexander, "Where have you been? I have been expecting your status reports since yesterday. You have not been relaxing on your duties again?"

"Sire I have waiting for you for most of …."

"No need to explain, I have heard from the others of your _enthusiasm_ to meet with me" cuts in the King, "I apologize… I have been unexpectedly preoccupied." Turning to smile at his General and reaching out to grab hold of his lover's hand, "We have time now to discuss this. Let us go to my tent."

"We?" questions Hephaestion, "I had not expected to intervene with .."

"Of course Sire, this has nothing to do with the General, I am sure he has other matters to tend with… now that he has finally returned to the army and." Quickly adds the secretary.

"Nonsense!" counters Alexander, "There is nothing Hephaestion does not already know." Stopping before his tent, the King motions over a page and whispers to his ear before slapping him on the back, "Now make haste Ianos."

As the three men enter the tent, the King's pages scramble to rearrange the couches and stools into a semi-circle. Taking a seat at the head, Alexander directs the men to follow his lead waving the nearby page for wine. "Now tell me Eumenes where are we with tonight's festivities? Ah!, I almost forgot, I have decided instead of sacrificing to Dionysus tonight, we will give homage to Castor and Polydeuces, the Dioscuri".

"Alexander?" states Hephaestion surprised to hear the King's revelations.

"Sire" exclaims Eumenes, "The twins?"

"To have honors equal to the gods" silently whispers Hephaestion with his eyes directly at his King. Alexander was looking to declare himself as both immortal and mortal as the twins, who now live among the stars for all eternity. As if able to read his mind, his lover turns to him with a broad smile glowing with pride as if possessed by the Gods themselves.

"I will quickly find Aristander and inform him of your changes, Alexander" looks up Eumenes with a still confused look. "What of your plans for the Conference? And of Bactria?"

"I have decided that…" just then the tent flaps open and the King's Royal Companions and Generals stride into the tent. And before the flaps fall, Cleitus rushes in along with a small flock of sheep following at his heel.

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TBC

_Again, sorry for the delay. I should have known better to have two stories running at the same time… ;| _

_P.S. Thank you again Ms Spence for your input – I must admit this was a tough chapter to start. But as always you brought out the best! (Contrary to your beliefs – ever so humble!)_


	10. Chapter 10 Dionysus' Fury

_Chapter 10 – Death of Cleitus - Dionysus' Fury:_

_Earlier before Alexander's Return to Camp_

The old general sits back on a small stool before his tent watching the servants stack up the pile of wood before the Alter in preparation for his sacrifice. He looks out aimlessly towards the open region and the life of the camp as he takes in another cup full of wine. Having declined offers from his men for an afternoon drink, Cleitus sits alone and isolated; yet focused on providing a proper offer to Dionysus, as customary for the time of the year. Though the King had planned for a grandeur affair later in the evening, Cleitus had hoped a personal sacrifice would grant him better days.

Most recently the old general had been pondering over his position in "Alexander's new army". Since Philotas and Parmenion's deaths, Cleitus had been unable to clearly find a firm footing as a commander in Alexander's army. The past few years since the assassination of his colleague and friend, Parmenion, Cleitus had been growing ill at ease and apprehensive of his relationship with Alexander and his place in his King's new world. To add insult to injury, he was silently and shamefully growing to distrust the one person who had always maintained a level-headedness and humility towards the older general, Hephaestion. Following Philotas' death, Hephaestion and the old general have been working closely in sharing the command of the royal companion cavalry. After Philotas' betrayal, the King refused to have the royal companions in the charge of one person. Though Hephaestion could have taken on his new found authority self-servingly and arrogantly, he handled himself to the contrary. Never during there joint command over the elite forces had Hephaestion countered or held contempt towards Cleitus' experience or judgment in managing the men. Rather, the two commanders had proven able to work well together and through their collaborative efforts had been successful in each mission or operation they undertook. However, most recently, Cleitus has been unable to stifle his growing antipathy and bitterness towards the fast forwarding changes occurring in the campaign. This deep seeded resentment was creating doubt for the old guard against everyone close to the King, including his last remaining ally, Hephaestion. The older general's worries were further heightened by the lingering rumors burning through the camp; the King was set on sending Cleitus to Bactria, as the new satrap. Discerning fewer allies to support his position in the army, commingled with his ever-growing anxiety and mistrust, the latest gossips were more than he could bear on his confidence. Cleitus was coming to grips perhaps that he no longer held a future along side the King's guard.

As a consequence of his insecurity, Cleitus has begun to openly display his hostility and enmity against Alexander's open acceptation of the "more barbaric style" of living. As a result of his vocalized opposition, many men from the "old guard" had come to speak up against the King's plans for further integration. The end result of this open revulsion had created a segregation of the old guard from Alexander's close companions and the new recruits of the King's conquered world.

However, with Hephaestion's recent return, the old general had become more optimistic. He held hope with the younger general's return; Cleitus may be able to find some support needed to reaffirm his position with the army and the King. The sound of riders rushing into the camp momentarily distracts the general from his concerns. He watches amusingly as the King and General cheerfully ride their horses up to the large pavilion.

Having taken down the last of his cup of wine, Cleitus is approached by his servant to commence the sacrifice of the three sheep to Dionysus, the God of wine, the instigator of ritual madness and ecstasy. As the general steps up to the Alter, the King's page rushes up to him announcing that Alexander wishes for his presence at the King's tent as soon as possible. Cleitus pauses on his decision on whether he should provoke the God's wrath or his King. Looking at the sacrifice and at the young page awaiting to lead him to the pavilion, Cleitus sets down his dagger and reluctantly follows the young man.

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_Back at the King's Tent_

"Cleitus my good man, I had requested for your presence at this brief meeting, but I did not expect you to also provide a live meal" teases Alexander, "Who are your little friends?" reaching out to pet the animals.

"I was preparing to sacrifice to Dionysus when… these are my offerings…" hastily replies the old general. "But I was called here before I could complete my sacrifice."

Instantly the King withdraws his hand from the sheep as if it was possessed by Hades itself. With a grave look, Alexander calls forward his page to quickly locate his seers, Aristander and Clemantis and to inquire as to the consequences of Cleitus' failed sacrifice.

Anxious to hear upon the King's decision, Eumenes draws Alexander's attention back to the pending questions.

"Ah yes" replies Alexander gathering himself back to the task at hand, "I have called you all here because I wanted you to be the first to hear of my decision as to Artabazus' replacement. After a long deliberation and a careful review of the requirement of the position, I have determined Cleitus to be the most qualified person for the position of Satrap of Bactria. I will have him along with the Greek mercenaries from Darius army sent out as soon as possible. They will be responsible for maintaining and stabilizing this region while we move on towards India."

Before the old general is able to respond, the King along with all the men in the tent stand to applaud the "_promotion_" bestowed upon the former guard of King Philip. Alexander steps to embrace Cleitus fully realizing the _promotion_ had been his perfect opportunity to both "gift" his fine general for honor and valor; but also to finally set him apart from his army. It had become common knowledge among his men, especially with his closest companions that the older General was increasingly becoming unhappy with the King's "new army". He was clearly the forefront leader of the growing enmity swelling among the army. The older general's open resentment towards the King's integration of the army, his recent wedding engagement and also with his "Persian" attire was wedging the army into two separate groups.

"Oh Cleitus, do not fret about your sacrifice to Dionysus, I have sent word to Aristander to personally prepare a proper devotion to the God for your safety as soon as possible." calls out the King, "You will soon enough grow to appreciate your new position as satrap of Bactria."

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Walking out of the King's tent, Hephaestion feels a firm grip around his forearm. He turns sharply to find Cleitus tugging at him. "Hephaestion may I talk with you?" inquires the older general. "This may be the only chance we will have before the festivities."

With only a nod, Hephaestion steps in line with the Cleitus as they walk towards the distant main tents. Having shared the responsibility of the royal companions, Hephaestion had only deep respect and admiration towards the old guard. Through their joint efforts, the young general had gained vital knowledge and experience in tactical battle skills and strategizing. He was forever grateful to Cleitus, for his constant patience and guidance in homing in the young warrior's command over the elite cavalry. Further, since his youth, Hephaestion had always held a special place for Cleitus for his continuous allegiance and support towards his relationship with Alexander. On more than one occasion during his time in Mieza, the older general had interceded on his behalf, before King Philip and the then young Prince. It was Cleitus, who suffered the ramification of his groveling pleas to fight along side Alexander at Chaeronea. His release of Hephaestion from his squadron had earned the older general several slashes by King Philip. Cleitus had been punished for disobeying the King's direct order of keeping the two young men apart.

"Did you know of the King's decision before this meeting?" questions Cleitus, "Do you know of his reason for casting me aside now before we leave for India?"

"He only seeks to reward you Cleitus" softly counters Hephaeastion, his words barely concealing the true meanings behind them, "You know the King to be generous towards those who are loyal. You will be a rich man in Bactria, a man with vast powers at your fingertips".

"I hardly see this as a generous retirement plan." Spats Cleitus, unwilling to accept the explanation, "If I am no longer needed, I would much rather be sent back to Macedonia."

"You know more than the others that the King has the final say regarding the organization and structure of his commanders and the army." quickly replies Hephaestion, "I do admit I had foreknowledge of his decision to assign you to Bactria; but I assure I had no part in his decision. Truth be told, I only found out of Alexander's decision shortly before this meeting today." The young general reaches out to grasp his friend's arm as if to convey his sympathy, "I am sure Alexander held only the best intentions for your promotion into this position."

"Promotion! I hardly see directing a group of rejected Greeks and barbarians as an elevation in rank." Counters Cleitus, "He has given me no opportunity to contest or counter _this_ so-called generous offer." Slightly moving away from Hephasetion's hold, "Did you know, that our King has ordered me to move the men out by early morrow?" Lost for words, they move on silently as they reach the sacrificial site.

Cleitus stops in his pace to turn to his co-commander, he places both hands on the young general's shoulders and leans into his right ear, "Be careful Hephaestion, one day you will find yourself falling from your pedestal and hitting the ground hard. Be weary of a King's favor as it can be sharp and painful. But… then again you have lived through this King's ….. love far longer than I had expected." Moving back to cup his hand on the young general's face, "I have always found you to be too good for Alexander. Perhaps I do regret missing my opportunity with you. But I will always appreciate your friendship and will settle on this to guide me through my new position in Bactria."

"Cleitus, I will always remain your friend!" whispers Hephaestion, making no effort to withdraw from the older general's hold, "Take care of your self!"

"You are a good man Hephaestion" states Cleitus as he leans in to kiss both cheeks of the young general, "Never lose sight of who you are and be strong. I fear that you will lose yourself to our Great King's madness, to his daemon one day."

At that moment, Alexander steps out of the tent with Leonnatus and Perdiccas good-humored and eager for the upcoming meeting and banquet. As he looks up, he immediately stares fiercely towards Cleitus' hands cupping Hephaestion's cheek. Instantly the youthful jealously he had once held towards the older man's relationship with his lover surfaces to infuriate the King. Though the King saw Cleitus as a strong and ferocious warrior of his army; to Alexander the man, he held personal bitterness and suspicions which festered in him like an ant hill. Alexander's rage towards the old general was based upon his longstanding belief that Cleitus had been the cause for the violent and sadistic outcome of his first coupling with his lover.

While boys of Pella, Hephaestion had been under the charge of Cleitus' command. His lover's _close working_ relationship with the old general had been a necessity and requirement for their military training in the army. Alexander and Hephaestion's relationship during their early days in Pella had been at a level consistent with their young ages. They had both become curious to their bodies and to the new found love towards each other. However, it had been Hephaestion who held back from engaging in any level of intimacy, other than the _norms_ of tender touches and passionate kissing. For weeks, leading up to the brutal _transgression_ in the gardens back in Pella, Hephaestion had been obstinate in rejecting the Prince's pleas for a more "intimate relationship". Hephaestion had wanted to wait until the right moment. But as it would always be the case, outside factors would intervene and for the then young prince it had been his father's refusal to grant him regency during the King's absence. Shortly after being cast off by his father, Alexander had sought out his friend and found him in the gardens. As they lay intertwined, Alexander's bruised ego had been further fueled by Hephaestion's refusal to consummate their relationship. Enraged by his misery, Alexander roughly embraced his comrade demanding an explanation for his continued denial in wanting to _love_ him. It was not until Hephaestion had implicated a previous affair with Cleitus did Alexander come to his breaking point. Losing his mind to the images of Cleitus with his friend, he sought nothing but to stake his claim upon Hephaestion. His friend had been meant for Alexander only and he had no intention of sharing him with another. Though, later and throughout the years, Hephaestion emphatically denied any previous relationship with the older general. However, Alexander remained unconvinced and as a lover, he maintained his derision and watched Cleitus closely. His decision to have Cleitus share the command of the royal cavalry with Hephaestion did not sit well with the King; but he would trust no other person in his army with such an important task than his closest companion. Nevertheless Cleitus and his lover proved to be a formidable team and with their continued success, Alexander would come to accept the working relationship.

Now as he watches his lover held in the arms of the older general, Alexander is unable to set aside his hostility as he stares at the two men standing before him. Perdiccas quickly notices the change in Alexander's expression and realizes the source of his resentment. "Alexander, come away from this. The old man is leaving tomorrow and you will have no further worries for his influence or position in your army," states the young commander, "Trust Hephaestion. He has returned for you only … and no other."

"Yes!" chimes in Leonnatus, "Do not let Cleitus ruin your celebration!"

Hanging to the words of his comrades, Alexander realizes the rational in their statements. He again smiles in agreement and allows himself to be lead away to the sacrificial alter.

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The sacrifice to the twins has been a grand and elaborate affair. The King himself stood dressed in his find Persians Robes looking ever so regal and distinguished. There was denial to those around where Alexander perceived his place with the gods.

"He looks as if he is one of them" whispers Neandro to Cleitus, "Does he not recall how his own father was taken down by the Gods when he erected his own image along side the twelve."

"Keep you voice down Neandro!" warns Cleitus, "There are many here who believe our King to be the son of Zeus-Ammen and would seize any opportunity to gain his favor." turning to his young commander, "Even if it meant your own life. Be careful lad!"

With the sacrifice concluded, the commanders and King are led to the banquet area where the evening progresses in true Macedonian fashion.

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Alexander takes in another full bowl of wine to recognize yet another flattering toast to his past heroic deeds. The affect of the wine filled evening was beginning to take its grip on the King. Alexander delighted in the waves of euphoria and happiness consuming him. Having his lover back at this side, he finds himself able to finally relax and rejoice in the festivity. As he looks out into the room to his men interacting and celebrating merrily rejoices the King as he finds comfort to the display of unification among his comrades. It had been some time since his _all_ commanders have engaged in any shared activity outside of a battle. It brought great joy to the King to see his new and old brothers so at ease and free of the strains and anxiety of the campaign in Sogdia.

Taking another cup, Alexander feels a warm hand set itself upon his knee gripping it as it moves slowly up his thigh. Without the slightest movement or inclination, he welcomes the open display of affection. The King turns with laughter in his eyes as he looks at Hephaestion sitting next to him. With a wide grin, his lover tilts over cautiously into the nape of his neck.

"You are quickly filling yourself well into your cups sire." whispers Hephaestion, "I was hoping we would take our leave without notice to make our own offers to the Gods."

Alexander is unable to contain his enjoyment in Hephaestion's surprising assertiveness. Overjoyed he responds to the request by pulling his lover to him, embracing Hephaestion to hungrily ravish his lips. The act reaffirms to all presence _who_ in fact held his heart. "You and I will have the whole evening and the days that follow, my love", laughs Alexander in utter amusement to his lover's face turning various shades of red. In a low voice, he slants forward, "I humbly take your offer for a sacrifice Phai, as I would hope you will accept to take mine." The room roars even loader with amusement to the open display of affection between the King and the General. Alexander now taken in further to the heightened merriment and the lively affair calls over the servant for more wine. The King suddenly moves up as he raises his bowl to the crowd, "To Hephaestion! For his success with the local tribes!" He then turns to bow face down to his lover, and with a soft look, "And to the Gods I thank for his love and safe return to me." The room comes alive with further applause and perverted remarks packs the room with more laughter and wine filled bowls.

Hephaestion's expression goes dull as he moves back from his lover's embrace. His attempts to ease Alexander's alcohol intake had proven futile. The young general had taken notice of the early warning signs of Alexander's erratic demeanor. The King was becoming more bold and self confident in his boasting ego and self pride. To Hephaestion's disappointment, Alexander was enthralling in the sycophants of the room, accepting their enhancement of his position with the Gods and with the army. Hephaestion knew well enough, the King could be quite volatile and irrational when his ego was being pretentiously stroked; add to the mix large a amount of undiluted wine, Alexander's temper could be dangerous. Realizing his lover's shift into complete intoxication, Hephastion scans the room as if to gauge the reaction of those present. Inauspiciously, he takes notice of the small fraction of men in the room. He observes upon the expressions of the older commanders comprising this group, their obvious repulsion and distain towards the King's "supernatural being" behavior. Hephaestion was not naïve to their sentiments of abandonment and rejection by their King. They believed themselves to be displaced and set aside for the favor and support of the new recruits of the new empire. Hephaestion's concern grows heavy as he takes in the sight of the man sitting in the forefront looking the most agitated and unpleased; his old friend Cleitus. The old general was making no attempts to conceal his sulking appearance as he sat back into his couch not amused with the King's eccentric performance.

As the night progresses, the cups of the men overflow ensuing heavier drinking among them. This wide spread inebriation among the men creates some to step forward bold with their imagination and acclamations. Several of the men begin to call out comparisons of Alexander's deeds to those of the twin gods, Discouri. They were looking to tap into Alexander's love of _Homer. _It was well known among the Greeks, in The Odyssey, the famous poet had described the pair as "having honor equal to gods". The Discouri twins were two brothers, Castor and Pollux, one fathered by a mortal and the other by Zeus. When Pollux was offered a choice by his father, Zeus, for a place in Mt Olympus or half of his immortality to his brother; Pollux chose to save his dying brother. This choice allotted the twins the power to transcend their lives as both gods in Olympus and deceased mortals in Hades. As gods, the twins were worshipped by the Greeks as divine heroes of the battlefield and the protector of the army. With Alexander's earlier sacrifice, he sought to confirm his alignment with the gods as possessing both eternal and human characteristics. He was both the son of a god and a mortal man. Alexander was a human combination of the Twins. The men of the room were encouraging this perception by depicting Alexander as a god for his profound strength and courage off and on the battlefield, as both a commander and King. Through the boistering of the young companions in the room, Alexander was unable to contain priding himself to be worth of the comparsion.

Though Hephaestion never openly disagreed or really doubted Alexander's ancestral linkage to the Gods, he could not help contain his dreadfulness as he listened to the young men of the army robustly boost Alexander's "god like" status. A few had gone as far as to suggest that "_only envy that could only deprive the living of the honors due to them from their friends._"

Cleitus scowls at the preposterous declaration of Alexander's past achievements and divine status. He did not see his King as a god, but rather the same little ill-tempered youngster of Pella. He nods in disagreement to the words of the unfounded praises flying in the room. The older general takes another cup of wine to numb his senses and hopefully his ears as he tries to block the ludicrous acclamations being made. Cleitus wholeheartedly believed Alexander's deed were nothing more than mere exaggeration – simple tales larger than the Gods themselves. Unable to refrain himself any longer, Cleitus steps off his couch. He sways momentarily but quickly finds his balance.

"Nay!" calls out Cleitus capturing the immediate attention of most in the room. The laughter and talking dies down, with only the lingering conversation of astonishment and shock towards the old general's reproach.

In a calm and somber voice, Cleitus walks up in the direction of the King, "Such erroneous exaggerations these _sycophants_ make to the King!" bellows out Cleitus, "These great deeds of Alexander.. these victories at Gaugamela, Issus or even over Darius were NOT the personal achievements of our great King." He turns to look at the others in the room and raises his arm to swing it through the air, "Nay, these great deeds of our _King_ comes from the blood and sweat of the Macedonian army as a whole."

Hephaestion watches as Alexander's daemon begins to cleave to the King's emotional rage transforming him into a vicious lion ready to prance on his kill. Alexander's eyes goes dark as he flinches to each word blurting out of the old general. The King takes all his will to sit quietly containing his need to viciously react. His hands were clasped tightly around his knees as he sat up straight following the older general walking about the room ranting openly of his disagreement and disgust with the King. Alexander feels Hephaestion's hand cup his shoulder to try to ease his tension; but Alexander roughly pulls away. He was not about to allow his ego and pride to be insulted and made into a mockery by anyone.

"Do you mean to imply that without Alexander this army would be able to gain such victories against such enormous odds?" calls out Leonnatus, "Was it not Alexander leading us into every battle? I tell you, it was because of our King's brilliant commanding skills and military genius that we were able to be the victors against Darius' vast armies." The King's royal companion takes to his feet trying to control his spinning head, "By the will of the Gods themselves, Alexander has shown his tenacity and undisputed battle skills time and time again." He lifts his cup towards the old general, "Old gizzard have you no memory of all the battles fought where we stood outnumbered and outflanked? We have fought many enemies here, upon their own land and because of Alexander leading this army we are able to stand here undefeated against them all!"

Hephaestion looks across the couches to Ptolemy and Perdiccas, his trusted allies, pleading them to gain control of their drunken companions. The open dispute between the young companions against the older general was only provoking the aggression and tension growing thick in the room.

Unaffected by the passionate words of his fellow commander, the older general stumbles forward to point to Leonnatus, and the other young companions, "Have you forgotten whose arm saved our _Great_ King at Grancius?" counters Cleitus confidently, "Spirthridates' sword would have killed your _immortal_ King without my intervention!"

"Perhaps the Gods placed _you_ in harms way to save our King," steps up Seleucus from his couch, pushing away Perdiccas' hold of his forearm, to stand next to his comrade, "Alexander saved many of our brothers that day, far more than you! Do you not recall our King being forced away from his chase of Darius to save the ass of your comrade, Parmenion?"

"Parmenion was a great general who had fought along side King Phillip long before you took your first breath as a babe!" exclaims Cleitus, "This army is the backbone of Philip's vision and strength. Philip built us up from broken tribes into a unified country." Clietus steps back to look over at his old guard, and waves his hand across the room once again, "Never had Philip saw us inferior but as equals my Macedonian brothers!"

"And what great achievements did Philip accomplish in his lifetime?" chimes in Leonnatus, "It was his son, Alexander, who won his great victory at Chareonea!"

Now feeling his emotions taking hold of his mind, Cleitus steps up towards Leonnatus and Seleucus with his finger point at them, "Neither one of you would find yourself here without a great army, an army that was first created by a true Macedonian King, Philip.

"I have taken s further than my father had ever dreamed up!" yells out the King, sitting up at the edge of his couch, unable to serve back his patience, "Had it been up to my father, we would have never seen beyond the Greek Coastal cities," Again, Alexander shoves Hephaestion's attempts to sooth his growing rage.

Stepping off his couch, Alexander comes forward to face the older general, "Hold your tongue old man!" calls out the King, "Do you dare to call me lesser of a King?" The men of this army, my brothers, have gained more glory and riches than my father had ever given them! I have taken us farther than my father's diminutive imaginings. I have taken my brothers to a new world vast and endless."

Unwilling to heed to the whispers of his fellow men begging for the old general to step aside, "How far do you think you would have gone without this army behind you?" chides Cleitus sarcastically, "This army was already a well experienced and greatly commanded army when you took hold of it as a boy!"

Hephaestion again reaches out to Alexander watching his lover's daemon take hold. The general's lover, the man of reason and empathy no longer stood before him; rather he was being replaced by a beast held by a malevolent spirit prepared to react and be guided by his pure emotion and arrogance. Again, Alexander rebuffs his lover's reach, almost snarling at the gesture. But Hephaestion is insistent, unwilling in his efforts to be dissuaded, he again tries to lure his lover back to rationality. The young general leans over, "He is but an old man with settled ways!" confidently whispering to his lover, "He will be gone before sunrise tomorrow Alexander. Let this rest. Do not let the men see you disparage your commander."

Alexander turns to Hephaestion with a murky and dangerous look; "You dare to defend him when he openly insults me. Cleitus challenges my status as a worthy King and discounts my personal victories!" Alexander drinks down another cup has he falls back into his couch.

The dark storm of bitter hatred stews within Alexander as he looks out to the man who was the last remaining commander of his father's guards. Swollen with contempt and annoyance, Alexander follows the ranting and raving madcap before him unable to recognize the man who once stood by his side as a friend and confident. Cleitus had been a vital force in Alexander's personal and military life. The old guard was the first to proclaim his succession, support his initial campaign and fought feverishly to guard his side in many battles. Cleitus, as well as his intermediate family have been a facet of Alexander's life from birth until now. The old guard's very own sister served as his wet nurse while he was a babe. In Alexander's heart, he understood Hephaestion's counsel to be wise and true, that Cleitus was drunk and only venting his own distress in his new position as satrap. But as the King, he could not allow the old general to verbally antagonize and disgrace his position or his leadership. His own pride demanded he react and bring to an end the old general's outburst, no matter the cost. However his mind and heart would make him see who exactly stood before him, a drunken old friend. He found himself on the fence of heeding to either his self dignity or that of his friend. His thoughts are interrupted as he once again hears his lover turn to speak to him.

"Nay Alexander, the men know the truth of your achievement and of your great glories." States Hephaestion maintaining a level of assurance, "You are but a god among us mortals!"

Unfortunately, the young general's efforts backfire only further enraging Alexander. The King leans forward gripping tightly upon his lover's knee, with heavy wine on his breath and a look of fury in his eyes, "You too would mock me!" spits Alexander, "Perhaps you would see yourself happier living with your wishful lover. Was it not Cleitus in your heart when you decided to lay with me back in the gardens?"

Hephaestion is taken back with the old aged accusation, now feeling his own rage building up through him, "I will not let this be about our lives… our love Alexander. This is but a trifle argument between you and an old friend." He looks up to direct his eyes across at the old guards sitting huddled behind Cleitus, "I will not let your anger usurp us as you should not let it blind you against Cleitus. This is but a small war of words fueled by the tricks of the God of Wine. Let this pass Alexander!"

Alexander hisses and looks scornfully at the old general sitting a distance from him. He takes down another drink from his bowl, motioning for the servant to refill it. As he glares at Cleitus surrounded by the commanders of his father's old guard, feeling his emotions being pushed to the point of no return. Listening to Cleitus' insolence and fiery words were further infuriating Alexander, as he is reminded of his sister's wedding, of Attalus' insult and qualms over his legitimacy as a true heir of Macedonia. Alexander grips his bowl gulping it of its contents. He swears under his breath as to restore confidence to himself that he was no longer a boy who could be mishandled or be disrespected. He was the Great King, the rightful King of Macedonia, Pharaoh of Egypt and King of Persia! Alexander sits back on his couch to contain the rising emotions of hatred towards the old guard. With only sheer personal conviction and reservation, the King manages to momentarily dismiss Cleitus' outburst and accusations. Alexander takes all his strength to sit calmly back into his couch, yet ready to attack at a moments notice. He turns to Hephaestion with a stern glare as if to warn him not to interfere should this badgering not cease shortly.

Realizing a subtle calmness over his lover, Hephaestion throws an expressional plea to Ptolemy and Perdiccas to restrain their drunkard comrades. The companions' outspokenness was shaking the foundation of already unstable relationship between the new recruits and young companions of Alexander's new army against the old guards of King Philips.

Desperate to alter the direction of the evening, Hephaestion steps up; "Brothers!" calls out the young general surprising himself over his own initiation. Alexander looks up nonchalantly, but with an obvious annoyance lingering on his facial expression. But Hephaestion ignores the growling of his lover, and turns towards the men, searching out for one individual. "Eumenes!" exclaiming smartly, "Have you not prepared the entertainment tonight? Come let us call him forward to see what the old goat has managed to find to amuse us tonight!"

The crowd roars with lewd comments and energetic applause trying to encourage the secretary to come forward to address the audience. The old secretary was initially taken back by Hephaestion's announcement, but gradually realizes the true intention for calling him forward as he takes sight of the young general's despairing expression. A diversion was needed to calm the heated tension boiling over within the confines of the tent.

Without further delay, Eumenes proudly strides to the center of the room. He raises his bowl to the crowd then to his King, "My sire, Generals and honored guests! Let us put aside our squabbles and open ourselves to be joyfully entertained." He lifts a toast to the men before taking a mouthful, "I call forward Eliladio, a poet and singer from Athens. He will invoke upon your imagination", the general pauses looking at the group of young companions, "well to those who possess an imagination, but for most in the room, he will inspire you with his words and soothing voice."

The sudden sound of the music draws the room's attention. Walking to the center to replace the old secretary strides up a short and hefty man lost in his oversize ratted chiton and wearing a wreath covering his balding head. Eliladio was a poet and singer renown for his telling of stories significant to those glories of Alexander's achievement throughout the campaign. There were no denying Elialido's poems and songs were effective in sparking the imagination of his audience, specifically the King. Alexander had been fond of this poet, requesting his performance at most of his banquets. But Hephaestion had found Elilado's stories to be insensitive and more often hyper exaggeration that lacked vital and important details. The young general cringes and braces himself as the poet prepares for his song. The pompous poet would look to find a way to gain Alexander's favor, regardless of the cost.

Elialdio looks out prideful and arrogant at the audience; he clears his throat and begins in a loud hum.

_The day is bright under the firing sun;_

_The river flows quiet and calm;_

_Macedonian men of the old guard are eager to cross, to rush in without a fight;_

_No sound can be heard, no threat in sight;_

_Alas, beyond the banks, lurks a fray;_

_The enemy awaits to attack its pray;_

_Macedonian men of the old guard have no zeal;_

_Yey, they are ambushed, are made an easy kill;_

_Macedonian men of the old guard run confused and in dismay;_

_They are unable to decide among themselves to whom should lead the way;_

_Without their King the old guards are cowardly lost;_

_Without their King, their lives are taken without a cost….._

The image of the old guard scrabbling through the battlefield with their tails between their legs leads the room to come alive with callous taunting and mockery. The room reverberates with laughter as several of the men yell out for an encore performance.

Watching the hilarity of the room causes Cleitus' temper to burn through his vein. The men spoken by the poet had been led by his brother-in-law, Andronicus, the husband of his sister Lanike. He raises his cup and hurls it at Elialido, fueled by rage; he is barely restrained from lounging at the poet by a group of his men. As he is held back by men at each side, Cleitus swears towards the poet, "You dare call these men of Macedonia cowards!" bellowing through the laughter rising above the room "You have no knowledge of the nature and circumstance of this skirmish!" He leaps out once more but is held tightly by Neondro, "You are a foolish man to raise such unfounded accusations of these courageous men before their brothers in this room… before their comrades!"

"Come Cleitus!" laughs forward Nearchus, "It just an exaggeration, a comedy of sort of the battle at the Polytimetus River. It is all in good humor!"

"Alas, had Andronicus sent forward word to the others across the river, the old guard would not have been ambushed!" calls out Leonnatus, almost laughing in his words, "A new recruit would have known well enough to not enter a fast moving river in the heart of the enemy's territory."

"True!" chimes in Coenus, "Alexander had entrusted these commanders to lead the men. The outcome of the battle only shows that old _ways_ of Philip's army has no place in Alexander' new world.. new army!"

"You idiotic imbeciles!" steps up Neondro, "You would disrespect the very men who have fought in more battles than all of you combined!" The old guard of Philip's army, points to the young companions, "Have you forgotten it was Andronicus who taught many of you how to hold a sword, when you but a scraggier runt running naked in Pella!"

"I have not been a boy in many seasons old man!" counters Coenus, "And bear in mind, I have fought in greater battles than those led by Philip and have been granted far more riches from Alexander's victories!"

"Ah yes, _our_ _King_ have always seen himself in line with the Gods!" snides Cleitus, staring intently at Alexander sitting anxiously in his couch, "Is it now Zeus or Amman who is your father? Well Great King, as I see you now in your "Barbarian ways", you are no _legitimate_ King of Macedonia. You have become more Asian than Macedonian." Cleitus takes a full swig of his cup and widely swings his arm across the room, "All that you have accomplished in this campaign is through the old guard and from the original plan of King Philip. The success of this campaign is Macedonia's achievement, not Alexander's!"

"Enough!!" bursts out Alexander, over his fading laughter, "You push me too far old man! My patience wanes thin with your obvious disregard and disrespect for my position as King and Commander of this army!" Quickly the King steps off his couch to make a move towards Cleitus. Hephaestion grabs hold of him firmly calling out to Ptolemy and Perdiccas.

Hephaestion struggling to contain his lover commands his comrades and to the guards pointing at Cleitus, "Get him out of here!" The room rolls with a mixture of laughter and fury as the old guard is dragged out.

"Remove your hands off me!" barks Alexander, feeling his head ache from the throbbing influence of the alcohol, "I will not be made a fool by my commanders or by you!" shoving Hephaestion away from him as he staggers forward.

"Alexander restrain yourself!" sternly whispers Hephaestion, "All are watching you! You must be an example to your men. Cleitus is but an old man who is too filled in his cup!"

"You just cannot contain how much you feel for him can you General Amyntor!" snides Alexander, trying to steady himself as he leans forward for another bowl of wine, "Even now you will defend him over ME!" Unable to charge against the true culprit of his aggravation and unrestrained anger, he takes aim at the one person who knew his internal strife. Upon hearing his lover come in the defense of Cleitus' deplorable behavior renews his juvenile jealousy and insecurities. Alexander was unable to perceive beyond his own feelings of hostility, was unable to hear the truth behind Hephaestion's words; rather he remained in a state of disparity between his daemon and his self control.

Hephaestion grabs hold of Alexander's wrist, slightly but forcefully pulling him back forcing his lover to drop his wine cup, "You intend to demean what we have gained as of late, on a matter long ago settled! Cleitus means nothing to me! I am but thinking of YOUR BEST INTEREST Alexander!!"

The doors burst open with Cleitus staggering through cursing against his friends and fellow companions trying to pulling him outside.

"Ah Cleitus, you have returned to face the truth." madly laughs Alexander, "Perhaps it would be best for you to remain outside. _If you are trying to disguise cowardice as misfortune you are only pleading your own case_!"

Cleitus makes a futile attempt to move swiftly towards the King as if trying to attack him. But he is again held back by his comrades. "You are no Macedonian King! You are a mere man who seeks to glorify himself by the achievements and victories of his men, the real Macedonians in this army!"

"You Age Old Fool!" cries out Alexander, moving now to his feet off his couch, "You dare speak maliciously to me. You are brave to think you will not pay for your outburst this night!"

"Nay, but I do pay for it!" retorts Cleitus, turning to his old guards behind him, "We all pay! Our dead fare better than us to not live to see my Macedonian brothers whipped and beseeching Persians for some acknowledgment by their King!" He looks to his comrades for support but none makes a move to his side.

"Remove him from here!" yells out Hephaestion, stepping up before Alexander, pointing out to the old guards, "Take him out of here NOW!!"

Alexander shoves aside Hephaestion trying his rush forward to reach Cleitus. But he is held back by a firm hand of his lover. Hephaestion looks compassionately yet sternly at him to make him realize his position and those who were watching in the room. Hephaestion pulls his lover in, "Alexander! Let this be! He is but a fool as you say filled in his cups!" The King glares back, staring out into the room, feeling the eyes of his men fall upon him, anticipating the worse from the King. Again, Alexander concedes briefly but looks above his lover's shoulder, at the older general as he tries ease his temper.

"Cleitus, do you see yourself far better than your King to openly voice forbidding offenses in my presence?" screams out Alexander, over Hephaestion's shoulder, "Do you see yourself more able to lead and rule this kingdom than I?"

"I am a free born Macedonian!" counters the old general, "As are all your Macedonian brothers. We are free to speak our mind. Or has that changed in your new world?"

At that moment, Alexander's daemon roars within him for blood, for reparation, for his injured pride. Unable to control his emotions any longer, he leaps up calling for his guard into motion that his life was in danger; but to his own dismay, no one was willing to charge against Cleitus.

Astound to the response, Alexander walk out into the room glaring dissipatedly towards his companions and guests, "Alas!" turning to catch sight of each man in the room, _"I too walk in line with Darius, led as a prisoner by his own brothers, with nothing but his name as King. I am to be deserted by the very men I lead!"_ Ever the dramatic actor, the King, slowly turns away from the men and starts to walk to his couch with his head downward in disappointment.

To the relief of all in the room, Cleitus is once again removed from the room but only briefly, as the old guard forces his way through his comrades to head straight into the direction of his king pointing his finger, "_Alas my King, in Hellas what on evil government!"_

Every man's blood is up in the room. The glowering and furious look of each companion is fixed against those sitting behind Cleitus. The room falls into complete silence and mortification to the old general's words. The quote from Euripides drama, _Andromache_ was an unquestionable act to defame the King's position. As all present were aware, the line from the drama was meant as an accusation against Alexander for his selfishness as well as his lack of skills as a leader. The passage inferred it was the army who set up the victory over the enemies, yet it was only the general who reaped the honors. In other words, Alexander was of no greatness comparable to the Gods, but rather a meek King and commander whose successes came from the strength of his army. It was the support of the army that granted Alexander's victories, the same army who was now being held without appreciation or acclamation by their very own King.

Fully aware of Eurpides drama, Alexander's eyes go completely black and becomes completely blinded with rage. With his daemon fully invoked beyond containment and comprehension, Alexander rushes away from Hephaestion and grabs a pike from a nearby guard and runs towards Cleitus as he was being led out of the room. The old commander turns to the sudden sound of commotion in time to face his King possessed with a look of death, as he suddenly feels the pike run through his abdomen.

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"Clear the room!" bellows Hephaestion to his companions, as he holds onto Alexander's shaking body lying on the floor with his head on his lap. Tightly enfolding the King close, the young general looks to his friends again, "Quickly get everyone out and secure the doors!"

Ptolemy and Perdiccas tread around Hephaestion, looking down at their broken King crying uncontrollably and muttering incoherently under his breath. "Ptolemy!" calls out Hephaestion looking up to his trusted friend, "have the camp sealed off and allow no one in or out!" The young general further orders "Make sure the guards are doubled around the perimeter." The blue eyes inflamed with concern and anguish move over to the only other person he could call a true friend, "Perdiccas, have the companions gathered. We will need to call for a council!" He then reaches out for his friend to pull him close, "But before that make sure they take control of their men and have them ensure the army that the King is well and that this is all but an unfortunate tragedy. We must make them calm and maintain order!"

Hephaestion then looks to Bagoas hanging behind the shadows of the hall. "Bagoas! Come help me bring the King to his rooms!" Without hesitation, Bagoas quickly kneels to the floor aside the general to help lift Alexander to his feet. But their efforts are interrupted as more men rush to their side.

Alexander is oblivious to his surrounding detached to the realism that he had just tried to take his own life. Having pulled out the same spear that he plunged into Cleitus, he had tired to turn it upon himself; but Hephaestion intervened, shielding his body in harms way. Thus to kill himself, Alexander would have found himself spiking the one person who held more value to him than his empire and perhaps his own existence. After releasing the spear, Alexander collapsed hopelessly to his knees with no regard to those around him. The King is swallowed by his own personal grief and shame for the death of his old friend. Believing he had brought this disgrace upon himself, he sought only to humble himself to his Gods to the dead corpse of his old comrade.

The King's body shook distressingly, a seizure of his emotional imbalance of fury and regret. His grief was genuine to him as a mortal would mourn for any loved one. He had not wished-for the death of his friend, but only wanted to end his antagonizing verbiage. Alexander's pride and ego fueled by his personal daemon closed his mind and senses to rationale as he lounged forward out of pure anger.

Alexander's mind flashes over to the last image of Cleitus looking at him with both disbelief as well as acceptance of his fate. It was if the old guard had come to terms that his services were no longer required, that his purpose for his king had been fulfilled.

Facing the warm caress of his lover's hand stroking his cheek and hair brings Alexander out of his darkness. Looking up, the King finds his beloved solemnly staring down as if trying to covey a thousand thoughtful words in one look. The deep blue cerulean eyes do not hide their truth, the look of concern, sorrow and despair reflected back at him. Alexander stares lost as if to measure the level of love he may have lost from Hephaestion for his despicable, tyrant like behavior. He was desperate to determine whether the love of Hephaestion had wavered or possibly lessen from the fear that one day he too could be spiked through for his own words. He finds his own answers as he listens to Hephaestion takes command of the room.

Alexander watches his love take control of the situation, barking orders. The King is relived to the solid compliance of other companions to his general's instructions. Unable to hear what was spoken, Alexander is comforted to know that Hephaestion had not sought to desert him in his darkest hour.

His lover had stepped up in his place when he had lost his way from his himself. Hephaestion remained his foundation; his bedrock to bringing him back to reality.

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Unexpectedly Leonnatus, and Seleucus step up with a few guards. It always amazes Hephaestion how his fellow companions can become easily sobered from a night of drinking when duty called. The young general looks up to the two instigators of the dreadful night. They stood obviously grief stricken but stone faced. There was not a shadow of remorse or regret emitting from them for Cleitus' death.

Hephaestion looks down at Cleitus' body lying motionless across the floor in his own pool of blood. The old guard had found his own demise by countering against the very man to whom was sworn to protect. Staring at his dead friend, Hephaestion reflects upon how Cleitus had always spoken of a glorious death. To be killed on the battlefield among his brothers. He had talked of a death of a heroic soldier, a divine warrior worthy of a place in the Elysian Field. But the old general's personal pride and foolishness took that dream away, for his appalling and perfidious conduct of this night would forever be itched upon the mind and heart of the Macedonian men and of the King. Carefully, Leonnatus, moves up to the body along with several guards to carry the body to Cletius' tent. His body was to be washed and cleaned until he could be laid to rest. Hephaestion breaks his stare to look up to his companion, "We will need to hold a counsel to decide his funeral." With a slight bow of his head, Leonnatus removes the body out from the hall.

Looking down at his distraught King, Hephaestion gets to his feet to help bring Alexander out and away from the darkness and calamity of the evening. He looks to a nearby guard, "Go and find the King's Physician!" orders the young general, "Do it quietly and with haste!"

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_Back at the King's Residence in Susa – February 324_

Alexander is unable to distinguish the soft voices as he slowly opens the double doors of his lover's rooms. As he enters, Alexander searches out for his lover, before he is able to focus over the four servants fussing over Hephaestion's wedding tunic. Alexander grins to catch his general's expression give way to his annoyance of the whole scene. Not yet having his presence noticed, Alexander sits silently in a large chair in the corner of the room watching the spectacle before him.

Another tunic is placed on his lover and with an even louder sigh; Hephaestion accepts the red golden silken coat. Standing ever so still, Hephaestion stood defeated as the servants once again bustle over his coat cutting, hemming and adjusting it over him. Alexander watches in awe at the god before him. The sun only enhances the colors of the coat as it dances and complements Hephaestion golden muscular body against his long auburn hair and oceanic blue eyes.

The King smiles as if to agree that there was nothing that could overshadow his lover's beauty. Regardless of the situation, through the grime and grunge of a bloody battle to the soft silk woven tunic, Hephaestion's strength and love had never faltered. The man was constant as the stars and unvarying in his presence as the sands in the desert. If Alexander was to be regarded as the sun god, Hephaestion was his moon, to whom he would chase throughout eternity to be by his side.

Well hidden in the darkness of the corner, Alexander sits quietly amused. He holds back his laughter as watches another tunic bought out. Hephaestion glances over in the direction of the King, as if to hear the silent laughter dancing in his lover's eyes. Focusing on nothing in particular, Hephaestion speaks out, "How long were you planning to sit there before you would come to greet me?"

No longer able to hold back his delight, Alexander steps up to approach his lover. The servants immediately scurry among themselves to pack the suits away as they recognize the other man in the room. A young boy quickly removes the coat off the young general, leaving him to stand bare-chested with only a thin pair of silk trousers loosely tied around him.

Alexander pauses momentarily as he takes in the sight of Hephaestion's body. The scars of his battle wounds rehash within Alexander his recent nightmares of the deaths of Parmenion and Cleitus. Instinctively, Hephaestion takes notice of his lover's hesitation and quickly steps up to meet Alexander near his seat.

"Where have your thoughts been of late Alexander?" whispers Hephaestion as he embraces his lover, "You appear lost in your own world and have been quite remote."

Alexander lowers his head in denial unable to find a persuasive response. The young general pushes away slightly to take in a full sight of his lover, "I see and feel you but your mind appear to be in a far off land. Where are you? "Hephaestion's expression goes dim, "Is it me? Have I …"

"NO!" desperately exclaims Alexander. Without another word, Alexander gingerly withdraws furthers from Hephaestion's hold and stands silently to gaze upon the only person who held his heart and life. He then reaches out to touch the scars of Hephaestion's body following each jagged wound with his fingers. Though Alexander had no fewer scars than his lover, there wasn't an area of the King's body that did not have its own traces of wounds from his years of campaigning. But these scars were expected as a commander and King of his army. However, the battle marks on Hephaestion's body only reiterates to Alexander the burden his lover has carried to follow and love him. As he touches the darkest and lowest scar, he is brought back to the events proceeding after Cleitus' death. This wound came from no enemy but from Alexander himself. This was the heaviest consequence and penalty carried by Hephaestion to stand by his King.

"Alexander" whispers Hephaestion realizing where his lover eyes had settled. "Alexander you must stop punishing yourself for this. You were not yourself and I am as much to blame for it as you!" Taking his hand to stroke his lover's cheek and place a soft kiss to reaffirm his explanation. He then slowly moves back to reach out for an article of clothing, "My love, you should not dwell on the past. We do not have much time together to waste on trivial matters."

The last words of Hephaestion's statement startles Alexander, he immediately grabs hold of his lover's hand. "What do you mean!" as his grip tightly, "Why do we not have much time?"

Hephaestion's face goes white as he scrambles to find a persuasive justification. With the wedding a week away, the young general's own personal nightmares of his imminent death were becoming more vivid and a nightly repeated occurrence. It also brought no comfort to Hephaestion to realize that Alexander had begun the early stages of his plans for their move to Ecbatana by the late harvest season. He knew his time with Alexander would be coming to an end. The young general had been preoccupied with making his own preparations to ensure the King was well cared for after his passing. His concerns for his lover without him deeply worried Hephaestion. But his silence is broken, as the grip of Alexander's hand around his arm goes tighter as Hephaestion is again questioned about his remark.

With a meager smile, Hephaestion covers his lover's hand, "I only mean to say that we will only find ourselves growing older sooner musing on matters we cannot change." now facing his lover again, "Must I also remind my King, of his plans to take on two more wives. I have no doubt he will have any time for me!"

"On the contrary!" smiles Alexander; "I expect to find myself seeking you out more after the wedding!"

"Well then" pulling his lover in for a soft kiss, "My king your company will always be welcomed!" Hephaestion turns away from Alexander, scanning his room for something to cover his chest. "We must go and meet the others to discuss your new plans for Ecbatana." The young general releases his hold and walks towards a discarded chiton near his coffer.

"What troubles you Alexander?" casually states Hephaestion as he settles upon his bed to pull down his trouser, "Will you not share your burdens with me?" Having not heard a response, Hephaestion gets to his feet and turns to reach out for his chiton. He stands to come face to face with Alexander. Surprised, Hephaestion finds himself sitting back down on the bed.

"Alexander!" gasps the young general looking down to the now kneeling King. The look of despair and sorrow mirroring back at him breaks off Hephaestion from any further thoughts. "What is it my love?"

But the King does not reply, instead he runs his hands up onto Hephaestion's knees gliding them bilaterally up his thighs. He stops to look directly at his lover and bends forward to lead Hephaestion to him with his hand cupping behind his neck. The young general does not resist the hungry and desperate kiss from his lover. Their lips collide into each other and deepen as each man pulls their bodies closer. Alexander loses his balance and topples over his lover's naked body. But the King does not break their contact as he struggles to tug the pins of his chiton. With Hephaestion's assistance, Alexander pushes down his clothing to kick it off onto the floor. The warmth of his lover's body against him triggers the King's senses, settles his mind and brings harmony to his entire existence. Alexander takes pleasure in the moment having spent most of the day trying to occupy and distract the tensions from his recent nightmares. But now with his lover, he comes to accept that the Gods do decide the fates of men. As it was Alexander's destiny to conquer and integrate the Greeks and Persians, it would also be the Gods' judgment for the deaths of his fallen companions and commanders. Hephaestion was wise and profound in his assertion that the past could not be changed; however, Alexander had other reasons for wanting to ponder on the past. He sought to redeem his lover and to make mends for his past transgressions. He pulls away abruptly from Hephaestion to stare longingly at him. Without an explanation, he leans forward for a strong embrace, "I vow to make it right for you Phai! I promise before the Gods to amend my past misdeeds towards you. I will love only you in this life and next!" Taken back with the unexpected declaration, Hephaestion looks somberly up, "I have never had any regrets for loving you Alexander. As I have told you before, I knew the consequence of being with you. I do it because I love you!"

Hephaestion turns his head to search out his lover's lips and pushes into him as if to reaffirm his vow. Without the use of words, the men merge themselves further into each other trying passionately to charge though and annihilate another barrier that had been built around them throughout their years together. They ravish each other to establish some physical affirmation of their enhanced love. They make no effort to hold back their needs as they thrust aggressively into each other's body until they find their release and stake their claim time and time again.

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As they lay saturated and intertwined in each other arms, they silently relish in the moment finding complete comfort. Not wishing to break the mood, Alexander sits up to lean on his elbow to lovingly caress his lover's body. "I had always wondered what would happen if we left this all behind..." But the King is interrupted by Hephaestion taking hold of his hand to stop him from gliding over his scars, and moves forward to look sternly down at the other man. "You would never be able to push your destiny behind you Alexander. Your destiny has been etched by the Gods before we began this campaign. The Gods have always dictated your fate Alexander. You were meant for greatness!"

Alexander concedes momentarily to the words to reflect upon their validity. He lies back calling forward the day after Cleitus' death.

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Hi All: This was a difficult chapter to write! Thanks TribalShimmy for giving me the boost to submit it!

P.S. I am no poet but I gave it my best shot - I hope this chapter wasnt toooo much of a history lesson!

P.S.S. The Hunting Party will be updated sometime late this week!


	11. Chapter 11 Death of Cleitus Road to Re

_Chapter 11 – Death of Cleitus – The Road to Redemption_

_Maracanda, Autumn 328 BC – Meeting of the Council_

"He insulted our king!" screams Leonnatus at the top of his lungs "Before all the commanders and companions, Cleitus accused Alexander of abandoning his men and ruling as a selfish tyrant. He made out our King to be nothing more than an absolute ruler, who sought out only for his own personal glory and fame."

"For that our General should have been murdered!" counters Neandro, "We are free men. When have our rights to speak freely come to an end?"

The room roars on with more argument as each man takes to their feet with their own words for reproach and accusations. The large council tent, normally used for strategizing military tactics against the enemy, now served as its own battlefield. It was warfare of words fueled by heated bitterness and detestation. As the night wore on men shifted and situated themselves into two groups. At the end, the result is a dividing wall between those who supported Alexander's new world and those who clung on to the old ways. It was no longer a council comprised of a union of Macedonians but an assembly of have and have not's, old and young, allies for the King's reprieve and those seeking justice for Cleitus' death. For the most part, it was the old guard's last stand.

In the far right of the room sitting still and quiet was the King's unofficial Second in Command, his boon companion, his lover. Hephaestion along side his true comrades, Ptolemy and Perdiccas watched in horror and disbelief at the destruction of their King's dream of a unified empire and an integrated army. The young General had been hesitant leaving Alexander's side. Hephaestion had wanted to be present when his King awoke. After the banquet, Alexander had been inconsolable as he was being led to his tent. It had taken three guards to restrain him as he tried relentlessly to take his own life. The King was a vicious lion leaping and tackling any person within range who possessed a weapon. Throughout the next day, the King's frame of mind fluctuated from indifference to dejection to remoteness. With extreme devotion, many of Alexander's intimate friends had tried to give hope to the King's grief and pain. But all efforts had been unsuccessful. Once again duty pulls Hephaestion away from his truest love. The young General once more finds himself sitting distressed in the room filled tent. The second council meeting was again taking longer than anticipated. For two consecutive nights, the King's commanders have gathered to meet together and exchange ideas and opinions as to what to do with Alexander's action. Towards the end of the second council, it would appear there would still be no resolution in sight. The show of uncompromising determination between the old guard and the young companions was finally taking its toll on the general. There was to be no end to the rhetorical battle ensuing among the commanders in the room. As the evening progressed, Hephaestion began to understand the harsh reality of what this meeting foreshadowed. He painfully becomes aware that should they survive this tragedy, the campaign would be forever eclipsed by this internal conflict and deep division between the two fractions.

Exhausted with the grumbling and nonsensical debates, the young general slowly pushes himself off his couch with unwavering firmness of character and confidencey walks toward the center of the room. Immediately the noise and commotion of the tent comes to a standstill. "Brothers!" he announces with full conviction and resolution, "What would you have us do? Convict our King of murder and then rapidly watch this army crumble into panic and chaos?" Hephaestion stares across the entire room to find only the top of the heads of each man sitting before him; none were willing to face him. "I make no excuses for our King's actions this night. Nor has Alexander pleaded any differently for his responsibility of Cleitus' death. He is no more mortal than you and me." Hephaestion then steps to walk before several of the commanders both old and young. "But… what of you all? I have sat here for two nights listening to you all argue among yourselves using our King as a catalyst for the intense hatred and difference many of you carry against each other. I ask you here my brothers, are you able to see the truth through all your lies. Do you intend to sacrifice our King for this contempt you have all voiced during council?" The General then steps of up Neandros, staring at him sternly, "I have seen the look of anger on all your faces here tonight. Are you only able to see this empire our Great King had tirelessly created and many of our brothers have died for, through only troubled eyes?" Hephaestion then turns away to look at Leonnatus sitting across the room, "How deep and for how long do you wish to carry on this tension and animosity among us?"

The young General moves around the room again pacing to both side of the tent, "My brothers are you so blinded by your shame here that you will place the burden of our differences solely upon the shoulder of our King? The burden should rest with all of us who have indulged in the vast riches and wealth that we have gained through the years of our conquest. Together we have all basked in the glory and grandeur of our victories. The gold talents that fill heavy in your pockets and the power at your fingertips have all been made possible by the leadership of our King and the unity of this army. As of late, I have seen no one step forward to return what has been freely given to us."

"We have all fought hard and put our lives on the line for what we have gained from this campaign." calls out an anonymous voice. "We deserve all we have been given."

"True!" smartly responds Hephaestion, "But how far and how much do you believe any of us would have achieved without our King?" The General pauses and is relieved to see the nods of agreement from many of the men.

With certitude, Hephaestion raises his voice with more passion, "I tell you here and now, the finger of blame should be upon all of us for considering the notion of abandoning our King in his darkest hour." He walks up behind Ptolemy reaching out to place a hand to his friend's shoulder as he looks out into the room, "If we are to desert and sacrifice our King, who among you will raise your sword and convict him for his action last night? Surely there must be one among you who believes they carry the right to execute our King. And should you put to death our Great King,.. what then?" The General momentarily looks down to his feet and with a deep breath he looks out intently to his fellow commanders, "Would you lead us?" pointing randomly at various men sitting in each side of the room. "Will you take Alexander's place? I tell you my brothers without our King you have no army and without our army, by all the Gods, we are all as good as dead…ferry bound towards Hades!"

The room stood in complete silence. Without another word, Hephaestion retakes his seat again aside his two companions giving off no indication for the true fear and uneasiness building in his body. This was to be his greatest performance, one that would require him to put aside his heartache and focus on finding the right words to convince the council to exonerate the King. Hephaestion was fighting his toughest battle to protect his lover's greatest dream and his reign.

"Treason!" softly utters out Eumenes, "We can declare Cleitus' action as treason."

Astonishingly the room remains quiet. Finding sudden courage the secretary steps up off his seat to face the room. He is visibly anxious but finds strength when he catches the warm smile of an unexpected ally, Hephaestion. "Cleitus' conduct last night could be considered a high treason, an act of treachery against our King. Cleitus' open display of hostility against Alexander's reign and conspiracy for eliciting dissention among the ranks would justify his killing. The conviction of treason would save face for our King and appease the army."

Once again the tent comes alive with sentiments of rage and disbelief. Both sides come to their feet trying to convince the other of the merits of their argument. Hephaestion, along with his close companions sit defeated as the verbal assault among the commanders as carry on further into the night.

As the moon hits high night, it is the secretary who brusquely marches himself with a small stool into the far end of the room and stood above shoulders of the screaming commanders. "Macedonians!" bellows out Eumenes, "Here my out my brothers!" The yelling men gradually cease their arguing as they listen attentively to the secretary. "Cleitus had made his choice to confront and antagonize our King the other night. His decision to defy and counter Alexander's reign and leadership was his alone. I saw none of you step to his side when he called upon others to join him in his argument. Must we allow for the choices of one man become that of the whole army?" The tired and worn out secretary stands straight amazed at his ability to hold the interest the men gathered in room. "True by declaring Cleitus' conduct as an act of treason, we will pardon our King of any crimes. But, we must think of ourselves as a whole, as one, for the army is watching. Alexander is what holds this army together, without him we are nothing! Come let us put aside our differences and think what is best for us and this campaign."

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_Across the Camp in the King's Pavilion_:

Alexander's head is heavy with drowsiness. He carefully pushes himself up on his bed leaning his back against the headboard. He tries to focus on his surroundings. The small oil lamp flickers on a distant table to faintly confirm to him that he was in his own tent.

He is alone. The shadows of the setting sun reflect on the tent reaffirms to the King his fears that he had slept through most of the afternoon. He tries to gather his thoughts. Alexander wipes the sweat dripping on his brow. The effect of his nightmare lingers within him. It had been so vivid. The terror of his dream engulfs his mind filling him with utter rage and hatred. Alexander quickly bolts up. Was it a dream? The previous evening flashes upon him; his heavy drinking, Cleitus' antagonizing remarks, the spear he held firmly as he lunged for his old friend. Suddenly, the waves of remorse crash within the King and through his vision the harsh realities of his cruelty and tyranny awakens him. It was not a figment of his imagination or an illusion created by Hypnos. Defeated and filled with renewed guilt the King turns into his pillows to once again let loose the agony and the regret swelling within him. He cries out in agonizing pain.

With a heavy heart the grief for the loss of his old comrade and for himself consumes the King. He now stood at the edge of abyss. Alexander had allowed for his pride and ego to override his rationale. He had been morphed into a coldhearted murderer. He was now a solidified tyrant damned forever with the memories of the death of his friend. He now gave reason for his men to distrust him and perhaps to fear him. How was he to persuade them he led by passion for glory and a sense of level headedness that once inspired them? From this point forward, he would be viewed as impulsive, unstable and unpredictable.

The movement from the shadow of the tent alerts the King. Stepping out with his head hung low was his eunuch. Silently, Bagoas approaches the King, the expression on the young boy's face spoke it all, the concern, grief and anxiety. The usually pristine and composed servant now stood heavy eyed with fatigue and disheveled in his appearance.

"My King" murmurs the nervous boy, "how may I…" But he is cut off by Alexander raising his hand motioning him to stop.

"I do not require anything" cuts Alexander, "I wish to be alone."

"My King" pleas Bagoas as he cautiously takes another step forward to reach out for the Alexander's bed, "You must try to take some food or something to drink. It will help give you strength."

"Strength!!" annoying blurts out Alexander, "You wish to revitalize me so I can once again kill another of my comrades" He then drops his eyes towards the ground, "Perhaps even kill you" He then turns with death in his eyes and with a heavy heart. "I am a cursed man" snarls the King, "No matter, what I say or do, the Gods have forsaken me. I am a broken man!" A depressed and malice laughs bawls from the King, "I have become the tormenter of men, Bagoas. I am a titan among men ill-fated to now roam through eternity alone."

The eunuch is speechless and unable to respond to the deep seeded regret spurring out of the King. Again, he slowly moves up to Alexander to comfort him but is stopped short in his track, when suddenly out of the air flies a cup aimed at his head.

"Leave!" barks out the King, "I do not wish to be disturbed. Have the guards dismissed I wish to be alone." Alexander sits up straight in his bed to further emphasize his point.

But Bagoas does not move away, rather he courageously takes another step forward. But again, he his attacked with every object within the King's reach, "Do you not understand" hisses Alexander "Out!!"

The young eunuch hustles out of the tent distraught and grief-stricken and runs towards the council tent.

0000000

Having dismissed all the guards and his servants, Alexander turns again in his bed wrapped around his sheets unable to sleep. His head was heavy and the remorse was crushing his spirit. He rolls onto his pillow to stare across the room to notice a small stream of smoke floating in jagged lines into the air. The King focuses upon the white clouds and makes out his small alter to the God Dionysus. He closes his eyes trying to erase the image but he flickers them open to once more stare at the hallowed alter. He lays out concentrating only at the small table that held a statute of the wine god, the inspirer of ritual madness and ecstasy, along side two oil lamps and a small bowls of incense. The statue stood face forward across him staring at the disheartened King. The flames of the lamps create a shadow over the god's face producing a lively illusion of laughter at the King. Alexander catches sight of the sardonic expression of the God. The life like imagery further crashes down the dread and misery brewing though his vein.

Slowly Alexander swings his legs over the bed and sits naked with only the thin sheets draping over his legs. He sit quietly mesmerized at the Alter as if trying to receive a message it was surreptitiously conveying. The King leans forward with his elbows to his knees. He drops his head in humiliation.

Alexander tears out his hair unable to bear the despair engulfing within his soul. He begins to wonder if he will be able to make it out alive as he reflects and connects the past night. In his own way, he was trying to come to grasp the situation but the feeling being revealed to him turns him cold and detached. Everything comes into focus and he soon finds himself hating his own existence. He looks at the statute crying to himself, "Is this a warning? An evil sign?" With a long face, he bows his head down to his chest, "Do you mean to abandon me?" screams out Alexander, "Will this be my end?" The King steps off his bed, his body is numb but his heart clashes internally with his soul. He is struggling if he would be able to live through his shame? Could he continue on with his campaign with it?

During the early part of the day, his most closest and intimate comrades had come to visit and counsel the King. But all attempts from the companions to console Alexander had been refused. He had renounced every explanations and justifications offered to soothe him. Many of the King's companions had tried explaining to him that the Gods had sought revenge using Alexander as a device for wielding his wrath through his killing of Cleitus. Several others tried reminding the King of his earlier dream of Cleitus talking with Parmenion and his sons under a large tree along side a green hillside. It was Ptolemy who had zealously argued to convince the King that the dream was a forewarning of Cleitus' imminent death. He reminded the King of how in his dream he saw Cleitus sitting together with Philotas and his father content and unscarred by any battle or misfortune. But to each reason provided to Alexander, he dismissed them contesting that it had been his hand that held the spear lunged into Cleitus' stomach. The death of the old commander had been Alexander's doing alone.

But now alone in his chamber, the King sits repugnant and aghast with himself. He could no long feel his senses but perhaps he just stopped caring for all that mattered around him. The consciousness of his guilt and self deprivation was overpowering his pride and confidence. The sheets slowly fall off the King as he staggers to carry the weight of his hollow body towards the Alter. He kneels nude before the God of the wine cloaked over with his remorse and self pettiness. On the small table, the King reaches out to take a lighter and incense as he burns them in homage to the god. The smoke of the rich scented aroma fills the air. The steam generated creates the illusion of tiny rows of tears falling from Dionysus' face. But the even line smile of the statute lingers creating the appearance of the God's smirking in delight in the instability of Alexander's state of mind. Dionysus looks to be relishing in the moment, pleased with the King's personally inflicted destruction. The dark crimson eyes painted on the statute stares through Alexander as he looks up once again for a sign of forgiveness. Then through the small cloud of smoke, red paint can be seen melting off the statue as the steam burns over it.

Alexander follows the crimson colored oil flowing down each side of Dionysus' arms. He stares silently at the trail of oil flowing downward and suddenly catches sight of his own dagger lying on the small table. The paint slowly drips onto the blade of his ivory hilted dagger. The King has received his message. He now understands what he must do. Alexander reaches out for his knife.

Out of nowhere, the soft sound of a cough diverts the King's attention to the flaps of his tent. Alexander quickly hides the dagger under the cushion of his couch. He looks up to see Anaxarchus standing behind him. "My King" humbly bows the young philosopher, "Aristander has requested I see you. I understand that you have also spoken to Callisthenes." The King is non-responsive resettling his gaze upon the statute. Anaxarchus appraises the situation before him and carefully walks up to the King. "Is this Alexander, the son of Zeus and the source of law on earth for all men?" boldly exclaims the philosopher, "Are you not the King of this Great Empire, the King of Persia, and the Pharaoh of Egypt? Yet I find you kneeling upon the floor like a petty servant." Alexander is astounded and taken aback from the manner he was being spoken to by the young curly haired youth barely older than the King himself. On any given day, the King would have the man flogged for such impudence; but, Alexander is physically deflated by the weight of his emotions; he is unable to counter the bold statement.

Realizing the emotional vulnerability of the King, Anaxarchus continues on berating Alexander. He had thought a more direct and confrontational approach would be more effective in converting the King's melancholy state. "My Sire" extends out the philosopher's hand to the Alexander, "You are God Born King. Come let us get you dressed. The God among men should not be seen naked and weak before his army."

Anaxarchus' words awaken Alexander out of his stupor. He turns to look at his friend with renewed fire in his eyes. How had Alexander forgotten his lineage with Zeus, his ancestral tie with Ammon. He was no meager earthly bound man. The ingenious philosopher had managed to manipulate the King out of his despondent state of mind by effectively tapping into Alexander's vanity. Anaxarchus' leads the King to his bed and pulls out from the royal coffer the most elaborately designed chiton he could find. "My King" calmly states the philosopher, "This attire is more appropriate for you… for the God among mortals".

"But it had been my hand that wielded the spear into Cleitus" whispers the King, "I am but a mere mortal, who has carried out a horrific and inexcusable crime."

"Nay" confidently counters Anaxarchus, "You should hold no regret for what has transpired the night before. You are the King. Your word and action are limitless and unrestricted. As the God Born King, you are free to do as you wish."

"Of course!" nods the King in agreement with a renewed sense of self-dignity, "I am the King. I have done nothing wrong."

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_Outside the Council Tent:_

He pushes open the tent flaps followed by Ptolemy and Perdiccas. The men were mentally exhausted. At the end of two nights of meeting with the other commanders, a resolution was finally made. It was a decision that would best serve to maintain the unification of the army than to preserve Alexander's self esteem. Collectively, the council had come to an agreement to charge Cleitus with treason and exonerate the King of murder.

As Hephaestion walks out into the full moon night, he is immediately approached by the King's young eunuch. The youth is hysterical and in a frazzled state. Forgetting the code of behavior when confronting a high ranking commander, Bagoas leaps before the General fanatically grabbing hold of Hephaestion's arms. The startled men instinctively go for the hilts of their sword.

"My Lord!" frantically calls out the young servant, struggling to find this breath, "The King… the king…. is not well…" Then all of the sudden, Bagoas takes sight of the three companions' moving to arm themselves and quickly realizes his abrupt behavior and rudeness. He takes a few steps back to bow his head low and hastily stands silent before the Generals. Hephaestion finally able to decipher the eunuch's outburst becomes alarmed and moves up to tightly grip the boy's forearm. "What is it?" questions the general in a low growling voice. "What has happened to the King?"

Bagoas' whole body is shaking but he manages to gain his composure as he looks up to stare directly at Hephaestion, "The King has ordered everyone out of his tent. I fear for him my Lord… for his life..." He then looks down, "I have seen the look of death upon his eyes my Lord… his daimon…"

With those last words, Hephaestion roughly pushes aside the eunuch to lead his comrades pass Bagoas to storm forward across the campsite, to King's pavilion.

"Hephaestion!" comes a shout from behind the three men shoving their way through the gathering crowd spilling out of the council tent.

"Hephaestion wait!" exclaims Eumenes as he reaches out a hand to tug at the General's chiton. "We need to hold a trial for the King"

"A what?" sharply turns Hephaestion staring irately "You seek to give grounds to humiliate our King before the army?

"A mock trial" hastily explains the overweening secretary, "for show and appearances only." Eumenes immediately takes in the glaring stares from the men facing him. He understood quickly did not have much time to explain himself. "Hephaestion you must convince the King to stand trial in order that the council may officially absolve him and charge Cleitus with treason. The men must see that the King's killing of his general was justifiable and with cause."

Hephaestion steps forward coming inches before Eumenes "You know better than I…. I have no authority to command the King to do anything he himself does not wish to do."

"But you do have more influence than anyone in this army. As his lover, you must try to convince him to see the rationale and common good of holding this mock trial."

The young general steps up prepared to physically counter Eumenes' outspokenness, when he feels a hand grip his shoulder, "Hephaestion it would benefit the army to see Alexander cleared of Cleitus' death publicly, before all the men." calmly interjects Ptolemy, "It may be best for all…"

"We also need the King to offer a proper funeral… it should be granted to Cleitus…" further adds the secretary.

"I will make no promises" replies Hephaestion throwing an icy stare, "I will talk to him." He then snaps around to head towards the King's pavilion.

The secretary once again moves up to give chase after Hephaestion. But he is stopped with a firm hand to his chest. "You have heard him!" tersely barks Perdiccas, "Hephaestion will talk to him."

"Hephaestion must be made to understand. The King must come to realize what he must do for…." desperately argues Eumenes.

"He understands!" spits out Perdiccas, "Now let him tend to the King. You would best serve your cause if you remain here!" snorts the blond haired General as he steps up with a look of warning, "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes… but be sure!" before Eumenes is able to utter another word, the General disregards any further comment from the secretary and turns away to catch up with his fellow comrades.

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_Outside the King's Pavilion_:

As Hephaestion returns to the King's pavilion he instantly notices only two guards present at the front entrance. The tent flaps are sealed and the braziers around the entryway have been drawn out. "Where are the others?" demands Hephaestion "Why are there only two guards stationed out here?"

"The King had dismissed the others my Lord" quickly responds one of the guards, "The King had ordered the others out of his tent."

"Do you mean to say he is alone!" bellows out the General, his rage burning through his veins, "Hades and all the furries. You Fools!!" Staring sternly at the other guard, "You there gather the others and see to that that these braziers are relit. I want a path cleared with guards bordering each side down the passageway leading to the tent at each end. Do I make myself clear?"

"But my Lord… he is not alone" quickly stutters one of the guards, "Ana.."

Perdiccas steps up to place a hand on the corner of Hephaestion's shoulder. The young general cups his friend arm, "I will be alright! See to it that the guards are posted." He then throws an arm around his companion, "If I could ask you and Ptolemy to wait for me in the antechamber?"

"You never need to ask!" reassuring whispers Perdiccas, "I will be right here."

"I know!" softly states Hephaestion as he releases his hold of his friend. "Promise regardless of what you both may hear you must not interfere."

Both men reply with a silent nod all too familiar with the King's impulsive and violent tendencies when influenced by unstable emotions and or his daemon.

The General cautiously walks up to the tent and enters into the antechamber when he finds Anaxarchus lifting the interior flaps leading into the King's private quarters. The General comes face to face with the unexpected visitor. Hephaestion stares at the philosopher suspiciously. "My Lord!" nods the philosopher, "Our King is doing better now. I would not worry."

"What have you done?" snides the young General as he shoves past the philosopher.

Hephaestion pushes through the tent flaps and finds the King pacing before his large desk. "Alexander" calls out the general. "What did that fool headed Anaxarchus have to…"

Hephaestion's words are cut short as Alexander storms towards his comrade.

"Phai!" enthusiastically whispers the King, "Where have you been?" Alexander is frantic. He embraces his lover with the strength of ten men. He forces himself onto the General ravishing his dry lips against Hephaestion face. The young general is taken aback as he pulls to look at Alexander's face. The King appeared to look right through the General; his eyes gave a faraway gaze. He looked to be somebody else.

"Alexander" calmly states the General, as he withdraws slowly away. He is utterly confounded with the King's sudden change in demeanor. The previous night the King had been inconsolable crying out for Cleitus. Alexander had lapsed into depression, rebuffing and scolding off the slightest touch or show of comfort. But now, the King appeared more lighthearted and relaxed. Miraculously, Alexander appeared to be his old self transformed out from his anguishing pain and grief.

"What has happened Alexander? I do not understand this sudden change in your behavior?"

Alexander grins maliciously at his closest comrade. "I have been made to understand that as a God Born King… I need no reason to justify my conduct last night. I am a man above the laws."

Hephaestion is speechless. But his expression gives way to his distress and shock. Alexander does not miss his lover's widen eyes and down sided frown. The King was well aware that his General was not convinced. His friend's reaction causes Alexander to burn with a clash of rage and disappointment. He had expected his lover to understand and perhaps be more compassionate, at least far more than any other. Dismayed with his friend's response, the King harshly breaks his hold of his lover.

"You do not agree!" annoyingly growls the King as he spurs around and walks away, "You would see me as weak and nothing. Whereas, Anaxarchus has helped me to see that I am more than a mere mortal."

"The self-seeking conniving philosopher seeks only to exploit you. He has clouded your mind at a time when you are most susceptible and fragile. Anaxarchus cannot offer any real solutions for you. At most he is offering you a short term answer to a long term problem." snaps the General, Hephaestion refrains from arguing further regarding the philosopher's reckless attempts of invoking the King's fragile ego by encouraging Alexander's personal pride and sense of worth. The General feared that exacerbating Alexander's already heightened self-importance would only awaken his demon. Hephaestion clung to the hopes that Alexander would be able to see through this tragedy with tolerance and reasoning. Yet, the General understood, that his lover's unyielding nature would push him beyond the human limits of personal discipline and patience. Hephaestion moves slowly to the King with an extended hand, "Alexander" tenderly pleas the General "You are emotionally vulnerable. You must allow yourself to come to terms with Cleitus' death but not at the cost of your sanity."

"I am no child Hephaestion!" retorts Alexander bitterly, "I do not need to be coddled and looked after by any nursemaid." The King turns to press forward when he finds himself looking into the deep cerulean eyes reflecting back to him the inner turmoil spinning within his lover. It is at that moment, Alexander begins to realize, that he has once again broken Hephaestion's heart. He was once more hurting the one person he loved above all others.

"No Alexander. You are the Great King. You have long ago outgrown our boyhood antics and behaviors. But still you are the same man I knew as a child who dreams of seeing the end of the world, of surpassing his ancestral heroes, of being a better warrior, a greater King."

The King turns again to look at his lover. With a hollow look, he whispers softly, "What am I Hephaestion? Am I Divine or Great?"

Hephaestion hesitates in responding to the complex question. He immediately acknowledges Alexander's expectations and predetermined response. The General was treading in a perilous terrain; he risked the possibility of driving his lover towards his pride or rage. He saw himself losing his Alexander to the dream his King wanted so badly.

With a deep sigh and bracing for the worse, Hephaestion looks up to face his highly volatile King, "You are a Great man blessed by the Gods. You possess both the human nature to understand the weakness and fragility of man, but also carry the strength and courage only the Gods could bestow among their own. It with this balance between being man and a god that you are able to be both great and divine. But my love, do not allow your self pride to distort your judgment."

Alexander swings away as he absorbs the impact of his lover's words. The King suddenly feels exhausted. He had struggled for almost two days with his personal sorrow and depression. He had contemplated his own death and was driven to the point of madness. But he was given a way out, a reason for his transgression. Anaxarchus' offer for a solution was more alluring. Yet in his heart, he understood Hephaestion and knew his lover argued a valid point. He now stood at a crossroad between elevating his personal belief of his standing with the Gods or shattering into small pieces likes a merger simpleton, a mere mortal. Alexander crumbles onto his couch losing a battle with his emotions and thoughts crashing within him.

"I have allowed for my daemon to invade me, take possession of my body and scornfully triumph over my will" dejectedly whispers the King, "How can I ever inspire my men to follow me now?"

"Your bravery inspires hope to your men and it's your strength to face your fears that motivates them." responds Hephaestion carefully choosing his words, "There can be no limit to the bravery you inspire. You only need to find the courage to start over." The General holds his breath hoping his words would lure his lover out of his internal struggles, his madness.

"Anaxarchus has tried to convince me… to help me realize that I am a King born from the Gods. I wish … I want to believe him…" sadly mutters the King holding his head in disgrace, realizing that he could not escape the truth. "But I know my fears Hephaestion. In my mind logic takes hold but in my heart the daemon grips me."

Hephaestion looks into his lover and for the first time takes sight of the signs of the weakness in his eyes. The fire of hesitation was burning bright in the soul of his strong King. "Anaxarchus is an idealistic man who only looks to flatter you with his imprudent fables." answers the General, "One day he will find himself pounded to death for his atrocious notions."

"I killed one of my own companions. Cleitus was family to me." mumbles the King, "His own sister nursed me as a babe. Is there no end to my tyranny?" He glances up to his lover, "Who will be next? Is there no limit to the power of my daemon?"

"Sometimes Alexander, you have to lose the ones you love the most, for it's the only way you can know how important they were to you. But Cleitus was an old man, tired of his duties and foolish." Quickly counters Hephaestion, "I do not believe for a moment that Cleitus' death is to be your demise my love. This act, his death was decided before this evening came to pass. Cleitus' fate with Hades that faithful night was predestined before you confronted him." There is no response to Hephaestion's explanation. To the General's dismay, he receives no verbal response from his lover. The King continues to sits sullen and unattached from reality.

"It was me alone who drove the spear into him" whispers Alexander closing his eyes unable to look at his lover, "It was my action alone that led to Cleitus' death. As such, I have proven that I am but a fragile mortal… a man abandoned by the Gods."

"Do you remember when we met with the Priestess at Delphi before beginning this campaign?" kneels down Hephaestion to his lover.

"I do!" murmurs Alexander, "She said I was "invincibly unrelenting"

"You still are my love. Your existence Alexander through your ambition and sense of adventure is what enthuses and makes the men and your army holds confidence in you… in this campaign. You give us something to believe in Alexander. You give us more to our futile existence that makes us alive." Confidently explains Hephaestion cupping his lover's face to look tenderly into the sea of misery, "You are a man ahead of your time. You have taught all of us through example… through your love, that you will never give up nor do you give in… you are the initiator of change."

"Who I was before, I can no longer become" murmurs Alexander, refusing to accept his lover's touch, "I fear the silence around me now, as it is in the silence that I hear the truth of my pain."

"My love" tenderly reaches out the General, "There is more to being a King then wearing a crown. Your men would have never given their loyalty to you, having followed you this far and for this long without your respect and love. It is you alone that inspires this Army."

"Truly I wish I could find comfort in my pain for then I would be able to hide my true shame." counters the King, "If I could walk through the doors of my mind and hold memory close at hands to help me understand my daemon's hold over me… over us. if only I had the strength." Alexander looks away, visibly shaken with pain, "I cannot allow myself to hurt another of my companions… to hurt you." Unable to hold back his emotion, Alexander allows himself to fall apart before his lover. He feels alone and paralyzed.

Hephaestion is beside himself in grief unable to pull his lover out of his melancholy. He leans forward between his lover's legs and looks compassionately at the dark eyes of remorse, "Your humility to understand the human nature is what makes you great. You cannot tear your life apart for this. If you want to talk about this then come and sit with me Alexander and together we will share your burden." But the King remains motionless deeply lost in his grief. The General is unable to find any signs of courage but only gloomy clouds of sadness.

"Time is too short my love. I know there is something more for you as destined by the Gods. The dark shadow of these days will soon be eclipsed by all you glories Alexander. The rays of your bright sun will set above all those throughout time." continues the General, "Any failures, you may have felt from these past days, transcend over other men's futile successes."

"You see me as a failure? And now believe yourself equal to me" snaps Alexander sitting straight up in his couch, his rage evident in his tone, "Do you seek to bring me down to the level of a commoner in that I may be made into a fool?"

Hephaestion is stunned. He had not expected the terse response. How did his offer of condolence turn into a personal insult? The tables have turned against Hephaestion's efforts for a peaceful resolution.

"Alexander my love" pleas the General, offering his hand out to the King again. But he is scornfully rebuffed and Hephaestion is left to watch hopelessly as his lover turns more inwards into his emotions and brewing daemon. Devastated, the General sits quietly as he observes the King's demeanor turn threatening. A storm of emotional turmoil swirls within the depth of Alexander's psyche. Hephaestion foreshadows the inevitability of a long emotional and perhaps physical battle. Alexander's daemon was fighting a vast war with his lover's soul. Alexander the man, who could be restrained and logical, was gradually being replaced by the Glorious King, one who could be influenced and blinded by his own power, his own destiny and his own need for greatness. The General watches powerlessly as his lover transforms before him. Soon a battle would begin.

"Your men still believe in you my love," tenderly states Hephaestion, "The council of your peers has charged Cleitus of treason… and" holding back the emotions crying inside him, "they have pardoned you of any crime…"

"The council… of my peers" growls Alexander, "Am I not the Great King?"

"Alexander?" implores Hephaestion, "It is the Macedonian way to stand before you men to be…"

"To be judged like a mere subservient fool" scrawls Alexander, "Would you have me humble myself like some lowly slave or perhaps a eunuch made solely for the pleasure of other men."

"No!" cuts Hephaestion but he is unable to go further as the King angrily thrusts Hephaestion to the floor, "I have heard enough of your nonsense" gruffly responds Alexander as he reaches under his cushion and leaps to his feet. At that moment, Hephaestion takes sight of the ivory hilted dagger. The General is baffled as to how the King had come into possession of the weapon.

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"In your eyes I can see the truth of your feelings" earnestly states Alexander, "You see me as weak, a monster among men." The King moves up walking around the area of his chamber. "I can see your disappointment."

"You are wrong" cautiously replies Hephaestion, keeping a steady eye on his lover, following him pacing around the room, "You are a force of nature, beyond mere words. I have never ceased in my love for you. Nor have I ever lied to you."

The words have a counter effect on the King. Alexander's emotions are overwhelmed with disappointment and frustration. He was teetering between his self-absorbed glory and the humiliation that weaved through his moral fiber. Alexander feels the tension of the past days consume his body. He shakes in anger and rage. The King needed peace and resolution with himself.

Hephaestion courageously steps up to walk over to his lover. Alexander stares defiantly with a look of bitterness and hostility. "My love…. my King… you are tired and in need of food…." begs the General as he extends out his hand towards the dagger held by the King, "Come, let me tend to you and…."

"NO!" screams out Alexander, clasping his face with both of his hands in utter rage. Throughout his life he had been told of his heroic ancestral lineage; he had always believed himself destined for a life unlike any other man. He was designed for greatness, to live among the stars. Yet here he stood disheartened and a poor reflection of the ambitious and arrogance of his youth. For the first time in his life, Alexander is unable to grasp a clear solution to his situation. The touch of Hephaestion hand around his waist sets off the King to react. He blocks the General's move toward him and swings his free hand to hit his comrade in the face. But Hephaestion holds his ground ignoring the blood flowing down his cut lip.

Alexander staggers back realizing the pain he had inflicted on his lover. "Phai!" whispers the King, "You must leave…. I can feel my daemon take hold and I cannot ….. allow myself… not with you."

"We will go through this together my love" calmly responds Hephaestion moving towards again reaching out for the dagger, "Please hand me the knife." Once more, the General tenderly clasp for Alexander's arm, but he is again assaulted with another punch to the chest. The General stumbles back from the force of the blow and trips against the nearby stool onto the floor.

Alexander looks down at his lover feeling his rage ignite within him. He is fighting with himself. He desperately wanted to embrace the man crumbled on the floor. But instead he curses his weakness and turns away gripping tightly to the hilt of his dagger.

"What is to come of me Phai?" whispers Alexander, "I am the Great King blessed by the Gods, yet you and the others would have me stand trial to be judged by men beneath my statute. I cannot have a member of my phalanx or men from my cavalry take me away from my destiny."

"It is but a mock trial Alexander!" quietly replies Hephaestion, "A show… a formality of sort. The decision has been made. This is for your men to settle their concerns and to be given reassurance that the much loved King was justified in his action."

"They will see me as weak!" snaps the King, "I am NOT WEAK!"

"Nay" counters the General, "They will fear you for now they know of your intolerance for dissent and insolence among your rank and file and within your command. Others will think twice before countering you again."

"So I have become a tyrant, an oppressor of my men... my empire." sarcastically cuts Alexander.

"You are wrong my love…" moves up Hephaestion to his knees, "You are the King… the sole commander of the campaign. Your men love you and if I knew nothing else about you this fact alone would validate your honor and valor Alexander."

"It can never be the same Hephaestion" snorts Alexander, "My destiny has been written by the Gods. I know now that sacrifices will need to be made. Aristotle had once warned us to be careful of our dreams as they have a tendency to swallow us alive."

"You are meant to prove the old philosopher wrong my love," coolly replies Hephaestion, now kneeling before his King, looking for an opportunity to rise to his feet, "You must remember the man that you are… You are great for your belief in unifying your empire and your men."

"Perhaps I have been too naive in my faith" softly sighs Alexander, "Many blood has been spilt and many more dreams lost". The fire in the King's eyes begins to soften and Hephaestion waits with abated breath, hoping that his lover was finding the strength to win the war exploding inside him. The General watches his lover grip firmly to his dagger and an uneasiness wave rolling over his body.

"Hades Balls! They will sacrifice me?" swore out the King, now pacing frantically in the room, "I am a lamb out for the slaughter."

"No my love…they will elevate you to glory!" softly counters Hephaestion. He cautiously slides a leg up as he moves towards the couch. Hephaestion sits up beseeching his lover with his sorrowful gaze.

"I am the KING!" screams out Alexander, "I am the son of Zeus – Ammon. I should not have to answer to anyone but the Gods! Yet I fear that the Gods now wish for retribution… for my failure… to rise above the weakness of being a man. They will need an offering for my misdeeds… for their disappointment."

Hephaestion looks up with sadness and love. He offers a last appeal to his lover. "If a sacrifice is what you need ... then take me!"

"NO!!" screams Alexander madly, "I will not lose you to all this… it is you that I love… more than myself!... the offer should come from me." At that moment, the King steps away from his lover with a distant look, with death in his eyes.

"Alexander NO!" screams Hephaestion "DO..NT!!"

Alexander lifts the blade to himself but he is thrown off balance as Hephaestion leaps from the floor to struggles for the knife.

TBC

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** Sorry this chapter is soooo long. But I have finished this section and am ready to move on. There is one more chapter to post in a day or so. I just want to give you all a little time to absorb this chapter. Please share your thoughts with me on this story!

Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to _Angstman _for waiting so patiently for this update. Also a huge thank you to Stella for being my saving grace with her thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12 Death of Cleitus Road to Red

_Chapter 12 Death of Cleitus – Road to Redemption (cont.)_

The dagger slices deeply into the rolls of Hephaestion's robe. He flinches temporarily but never releases his hold on the King. They struggle for control of the ivory hilted dagger. The beautifully engraved weapon is one of two. The other identical blade was held in the personal possession of the young general himself. The weapons had served as a reminder of their oath after Chaeronea. The daggers had been taken from a pair of Theban lovers who died hand held clinching to the hilts. Throughout their relationship, the brilliant weapons had served as a representation of the men's vow of unconditional love and devotion. Hephaestion finds the irony in how the very symbol that was forged out of love was now being used against him.

Alexander's strength overwhelms Hephaestion; the King is possessed by the shadows of his grief and the wrath of his personal daemon. By the luck of the gods, the General's far superior wrestling skill proves to be useful as he manages to pin his lover down. Hephaestion secures Alexander's arms above him and pries his fingers into his lover's tight grip to loosen the dagger free of his hold.

"Alexander, you cannot seek to leave me here alone." calmly whispers Hephaestion, "I will not lose you to the underworld… not in this manner." He looks then sternly down at his lover, "If I must, I will fight your daemon and be the object of his fury. I will never allow myself to live to see the day when you will be taken by it."

Alexander's eyes come into focus and the gloom lightens slightly. The King raises a brow and stares with newfound eyes at his lover, as if to see him for the first time. "Phai, how can you defend a tyrant? A titan of …" A tears rolls down the King's eyes as he relaxes his body's struggle against his lover. "You can only come to your own demise if you do not take leave from me now." grief stricken in his voice to utter a clear word, "I have killed too many who held themselves too close to me. I could never bear the rapture of my soul should I do the same with you… by my own hands."

"Alexander, you would never will it nor could you personally undertake my own death. The Gods have destined that road for me." gently responds Hephaestion as he sits up with the dagger in his hand, "If I am Patroclus, I will die a glorious death for you my Achilles ... for your glory and love I will die in the battlefield by your enemy. Never will I see my end by your very hands _my_ Alexander."

Hephaestion starts up moving to his feet. He carefully tightens the sash around his waist as he struggles to pull his King up. "You are tired Alexander, let the pages or Bagoas prepare your bed and then rest," softly recommends Hephaestion guiding his lover by the hand to his bed. "You will think more clearly with some sleep."

"I am the Great King!" murmurs Alexander, "A God born King!"

Hephaestion hesitates, but one look at the broken spirit before him, leads him to push aside all his logic and arguments. "Yes Alexander you are both divine and great. You are a son of the gods… a god born king." Out of feelings of devotion and love for the man before him, Hephaestion concedes to Alexander affirmation of godly divinity. With his concession, Hephaestion accepts that he had sealed the fate of his lover's place to be _among_ the Gods and _above_ his army and companions. The King had the reassurance he needed. Things would never be the same again.

Having received the response he wanted, Alexander nods complacently as he finally allows the tension and anxiety of his body to release. The King's body slowly relaxes and Hephaestion immediately takes hold of his lover with both hands almost carrying him to his bed. The General calls out for a royal page to step forward to spread open the top sheets to comfortably settle the King into the large bed.

Hephaestion sits upon the bed, stroking the loose strands of hair off his lover's forehead. He then pulls the covers up over Alexander's exhausted body and places a soft kiss upon his cheek. "Sleep well my King" whispers Hephaestion, now feeling his own weakness taking hold of him. "I will be at your side in the morning. We will face the future together… as we have and forever will do so."

With a look of subtle appreciation and a final nod from the King, he gives a soft moan and closes his eyes to Hypnos' hold. "Together Phai, as we shall always be."

The General steps up and instructs the page to fetch Baogas to watch over the King as he sleeps. He gives strict orders that no one is to disturb the King, under any circumstances. All inquiries and issues were to be directed to either himself or Ptolemy and no other.

Hephaestion then looks down once more at this lover and is relieved to see him finally asleep. He slowly turns around, wavering slightly in his steps but gains his composure and walks out of the King's quarters through the large tent flaps.

As Hephaestion emerges into the antechamber, he is greeted by Ptolemy and Perdiccas. He gives a small smile as he watches his constant guardians stand a short distant from him. Their concern and fear are obvious in their expressions. They had heard all that transpired in the King's chamber. The other generals look up at Hephaestion as he fastens the straps of the tent flaps and turns to his friends. The young general than carefully unties his robe. The stained sash is soaked through as he places his hands over the blood seeping through. But his efforts are useless, as his hand immediately becomes covered with the red stains of his injury. He stares up and without a word slowly collapses to the floor into the awaiting arms of his two friends kneeling at his side.

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The next morning, Hephaestion is awoken to the familiar soft sounds of a person snoring nearby him. Without having to lift himself off his pillow, he recognizes the sleeping head resting down at his bedside. He carefully takes his hand to gently stroke the long blond hair cascading down the sleeping man's neck. The General's hand is gently cupped over by callused fingers as it is placed tenderly to the cheek of the other man.

"Perdiccas" murmurs Hephaestion, "What has happened?"

"You have suffered a deep gash below your chest." Softly states Perdiccas as he settles himself up to look down at his injured friend, "You have once again been a victim of our King's daemon. But the doctor says it is not serious and you will recover.. but…"

"What of Alexander?" interjects Hephaestion,"Where is he?"

"Ptolemy and Seleucus are keeping watch …guarding his tent." sadly responds Perdiccas, "He was able to sleep through the night. I assure you Hephaestion; we will both be the first informed as soon as our King is awake"

"I need to see him!" quickly exclaims the General, taking great pain to move himself off the bed, "He will want to see me as soon as he is awake."

Taking his hand to gently push his friend down, Perdiccas slowly sits up upon the bed to look sternly down at this friend, "You should rest yourself," whispers Perdiccas, "You have lost a lot of blood from this injury. You need to save your energy. The others will notify us as soon as our King is up."

Placing his own hand to cup his friend's face, "You too look exhausted!" observes Hephaestion, as he submits momentarily to Perdiccas' request, "How long have you been sitting there? You do not look very comfortable?"

Without a word spoken, Perdiccas leans forward to place a soft kiss on the General's forehead and lips, "I will always look after you Phai … I would spend a life time shadowing and guarding you…when all others have failed you, including our King."

"Perdiccas... you know…." A noise near the tent entrance interrupts Hephaestion and quickly the flaps fly open as a page rushes in to inform the generals that the King has awoken and has requested for Hephaestion's presence. Throwing a look of understanding, Perdiccas, assists his friend out of the bed as helps lead him to the King's tent.

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_The King's Pavilion: _

Hephaestion tries to gain his composure as he enters the King's pavilion. He stops before Alexander's chambers to adjust his chlamys and straighten his posture. The General takes a deep breath to bury the burning pain on his side. He stands head up to confidently open the tent flaps. To his surprise, he finds the King and Anaxarchus whispering quietly heads together. Alexander looks relaxed sitting on his couch zealously talking softly with the philosopher across from him sitting in a stool.

"Ah General Amyntor, do come in!" calls out the King, "Anaxarchus was just discussing with me how I should handle this mock trial."

"Sire… I had we thought would go over that this morning… and that…" stutters the General trying to conceal his apprehension.

"Hephaestion! Do not worry!" replies the King lifting himself off his couch to allow his page to fasten his chlamys. "I have considered your words, along with Anaxarchus."

"And what have you decided my King?" whispers the General trying his best to maintain a firm and calm stare on his lover, "I would hope we would have time to discuss this matter further prior to you making a final decision."

"As you have said Hephaestion, I am the son of Gods!" Smiles Alexander walking proudly to his general, "All my actions as of late have been the manifestation and desires of the gods. I am beyond any manmade laws. I will not allow myself to be brought down to serve anyone!"

"Sire, this trial is only a formality" quickly counters Hephaestion, "There has been no question raised regarding your leadership or reign. This is but of the Macedonian way. It is customary for…"

The General is cut off by the King who places a firm grip to his shoulder; "Of course for show!" smiles Alexander. "But this will be the last of these old traditional ways. It is new age Hephaestion. I mean to change the turmoil of the past with more rigid and organized set of laws. I will allow for this Trial to proceed as a political tool to appease the army … for now!"

"What do you plan to do?" openly questions Hephaestion, "Sire? How will you?"

"Ah my General! The first is the obvious. There will no longer be a "freedom of speech" among the Macedonians or any Greek… none that will inspire men to rile against me or my cause."

"My King!" quickly implores Hephaestion, "There are many men here who will find this very difficult to accept. Think of your companions who have grown accustomed to your openness to their criticism and opinions. They are your friends…. your consults."

"All will learn!" replies Alexander coming to face his General and leans forward "Only you will be allowed to be so candid my love". The King then places a quick kiss to his lover's cheek. He then turns away, "I have allowed myself to be confused these past days, but now I see my true destiny." He then looks to his General with eyes a blazed "Do you recall Aristotle teaching us that in each age comes a being superior to the laws of man. This man would be the rightful King." Hephaestion looks up ready to protest but is intercepted by the King, "I know now that I am this man. My word will now be law."

Hephaestion bows his head in defeat. "Yes my King!" murmurs the General, "As you say!"

"Oh yes, before I forget, be sure Hephaestion that arrangements are made to have Cleitus' body prepared" announces the King, "In show of clemency, I will ask that a funeral be given for my old friend."

Alexander smiles widely as he takes one last look at himself before the mirror disk held before him. "Excellent" jubilantly replies the King, as he glance up to his lover, "General, you do not look well. Perhaps you should go and get some rest. Your King appreciates all that you have done for him and I will allow you to be relieved from participating in these trivial proceedings."

Hephaestion shakes his head in disagreement. "No Sire, I will be there to support you!"

"As you wish Hephaestion" smirks Alexander has he head out of his chamber, "Come let us get this over with!"

The General straggles behind the large procession following Alexander into the council tent. As Hephaestion walks up to the entrance way he is met up with Ptolemy and Perdiccas along with Coenus and Leonnatus. The companions stand aside watching the large group of servants, foreigners and the rank and file advance into the tent. The King's old friends finally take their place inside as they follow Hephaestion's lead.

The King strides into the center of the room as the audience encircles around him. Alexander is dressed eloquently and looks regal as he stands before his army. There was no denial the man had a great divinity in his presence. In the forefront of the room sat a jury panel of Macedonians comprised of members of the King's companions, and old guards. Standing near the entrance away from the spectacle about to play out is Hephaestion and Ptolemy and Perdiccas. The three men stand silently as Eumenes reads out the charges against the King and the panel's decision.

As the King addresses the council, Perdiccas moves forward to whisper into Hephaestion's ear, "Our King looks to be above us all. Something has changed in him."

"He is lost to me" sadly murmurs the General refusing to acknowledge the two men standing at his side. "He has been taken up by his dream."

"We are here for you" quickly responds Ptolemy, "You are never alone with us here by your side."

"I am here for you Hephaestion" softly whispers Perdiccas as he carefully grips his friend's hand, "I …I can. lov … Just know I am here!"

"I know!" softly utters Hephaestion has he follows Alexander take his position in a chair in the middle of the room, as the mock trial begins, "Life as we know it now will never be the same."

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_**Susa – 324 B.C. - Several Days After the Mass Weddings**_

The tall auburn haired general walks through the column of his troops. Each of his men stares straight ahead, not daring to flinch risking the possibility of invoking the rage of the officially appointed Chiliarch and brother-in-law of the Great King.

Hephaestion tugs on the kit of several of his men ensuring they were fastened correctly and securely. He then walks up to the front lines of his men and glances around the royal companions, now consisting of 500. The new recruits before him had recently arrived comprising both of Macedonians and the other nationals of Alexander's vast empire. The General looks out sternly at his men silently pacing back and forth. Hephaestion appears lost in thought as if alone in his own world.

"Dismissed!" calls out the Chiliarch. Rather than scramble like little boys, released by their school masters, the men slowly disperse into small groups walking cautiously away from their commander. Word around the camp was Hephaestion had been at edge as of late; his usual candid and buoyant character had been replaced with impatience and annoyance. Many speculated the change in the General was the result of the stress of his recent marriage to Drypetis. While others believed it was the animosity created by several of the companions, who sought to blame the new Chiliarch for Crateus' commission as the new regent of Macedonia. Many of the remaining old guard had voiced their malcontent with Crateus' transfer realizing he was the last of the "old traditionalist" remaining in Alexander's commanders. Regardless of the reason, Hephaestion had become short tempered and extremely agitated.

Hephaestion stares momentarily watching his men break away from him. The General was well atone to his recent change in his behavior. He was filled with anxiety and distress as the army prepared for its move for Escanaba in a week. Hephaestion was growing apprehensive as he comes to terms that his time with Alexander was now numbered. The countdown to his death had begun.

The General turns to his second in command, "Marcus, have the guards prepared early tomorrow. I want to go over the new battle maneuvers before leaving for Escanaba."

"Yes Sir" quickly replies the young captain, "I will see to it personally."

"You are driving your men hard!" teases a voice from behind Hephaestion, "I am sure they can perform their maneuvers in their sleep no thanks your constant drills."

"That is the goal" curtly replies Hephaestion, "Shouldn't you be working on organizing your own men? Are you not leaving in two days Crateus!"

"My men need their rest" replies the tall curly haired General as he wipes the wine off his beard, "They have a long journey ahead of them. As I am sure you are aware Macedonia is quite some distance from here."

"What is it that you want with me?" snaps Hephaestion as he dismisses his captain and turns to walk away from his fellow companion, "I am sure you have more important matters than to criticize my handling of my men."

"How easy it would be to find fault in your command. Yet through the years you have surprisingly proven yourself to be quite a warrior in your own right" smiles Crateus as he takes another sip of his wine bowl, "I do not believe you would have survived this campaign with only your looks and bedroom skills alone."

"Hmph!" spits Hephaestion, "You are no different than the others who have underestimated my skills. Be assured I do surpass all your skills, on or off the battlefield!" winks the general to the older general.

"I have come to ask if you would share a drink with me" grins the battle ridden general. The new regent of Macedonia emitted strength and authority. It was no wonder Alexander believed Crateus to be the best soldier in his army. The old General was a steadfast loyalist to Alexander's kingdom and dream. Through all Crateus' doubts and uncertainty, he never wavered in his support to the King's ideas or plans. He stood quietly when Alexander offered him the hand in marriage to Amastris, daughter of Darius' brother, Oxyathres and humbly accepted his new assignment in Pella. There was no question Crateus was a lover of the King.

"Come now Hephaestion!" states Crateus breaking the Chiliarch's thoughts. "We must bury the hatchet of our past disagreements and come to peaceful terms before my departure in a day or so." The older general places a hand to Hephaestion's shoulder, "Or do you find yourself too exalted in your new position as the official Chiliarch and brother-in-law to our great King to partake in the company of us lowly foot soldiers."

"I am still the same man!" mummers Hephaestion, "I have had a tremendous amount of responsibility bestowed upon me… with Alexander moving to Escabana… I have just been preoccupied and busy as of late."

"Well then let us share a drink and toast to our new roles in our Great King's ever growing empire" smiles Crateus gleefully, "I hear Alexander has plans to invade Saudi Arabia next season."

"The man is relentless" jokes Hephaestion, "He will not stop until he has the whole world under his fingertip."

"Well then let us share a drink and toast to our beloved King" moves up the new regent as he tosses an arm around his nemesis' shoulder. "Come my residence is closer."

With a wide grin, Hephaestion takes Crateus' offer and follows the older general to his temporary housing.

_Later that night_

Hephaestion's head is heavy with exhaustion and intoxication. The offer of one drink with Craetus had evolved into a drinking feast as other companions including Ptolemy and Leonnatus later joined in the small gathering.

It is late in the evening, when the Chiliarch staggers back to his private residence at the palace. He decides on for a quiet evening alone rather then engaging in a doleful conversation with his new wife. Though Drypetis was beautiful and intriguing, he had found it difficult to grow close to her. Realizing that his time was short, he had been distracted with other matters. The young general smiles as he reflects upon his wife's efforts to learn her new husband's language and culture. She was no doubt a well match for him, if only he able to find time enjoy her. However, time was of the essence and he had little of it to waste. Hephaestion had been pre-occupied making preparations for his departure. He had begun delegating his duties in order that the logistic and organization of the army could be maintained and functional after his passing. He had reassigned more responsibilities to his second in commanders. More importantly, he was pulling himself away from Alexander in hopes of easing the blow of his demise.

Lost in thought, Hephaestion suddenly finds himself before his private chambers in the royal palace. As he enters the room, he is not surprised to find the room is well kept and dimly lit with several oil lamps. The General walks over to the stone carved table and fills the large washing bowl with water. He leans forward to reach for a linen towel, soaks it and begins to clean off the grim off his face. He unfastens the pins of his chiton rolling it down to his waist. Again he re-soaks the cloth to cleanse his arms and chest. A faint noise behind him mildly diverts his attention; but Hephaestion does not cease what he is doing. He immediately recognizes the gait of the unexpected intruder. After over twenty years together, the General is able to instinctively recognize the man approaching him.

The subtle sound of the sandals hitting the hard floor gradually echoes louder as the visitor draws near. Hephaestion does not turn to face his King. Rather he glances half way looking over his shoulder to gauge his lover's presence. Slowly, he feels Alexander arriving to the right side of his table.

Hephaestion's whole body tingles in anticipation as Alexander places a single finger to slide it across the top to the bottom of his back. The sensation of the gentle touch burns a fire throughout the surface General's skin.

"Where have you been?" inquires the voice over Hephaestion's shoulder, "My pages alerted me of your presence in the palace. I had not expected to see you tonight. Though I had hopes of it."

"And so you are here!" smiles the Chiliarch, as he finally turns to face Alexander, "Should you not be with your wife or… wives... instead of wandering the halls at this time of the night?"

"Ah! I could be with one or all of my wives to ensure an heir is produced!" bashfully replies the King, "But now that you are with me. I have no other desire than to be with you."

"I hardly see myself able to beget you a son" teasingly replies Hephaestion, "I am but a simple man."

"Never just a simple man" coyly responds Alexander as he cups the neck of his lover to pull him in. "You are so much more" The kiss is tender almost plain. But it is quickly followed with another and with each subsequent kiss the contact grows more feverish and passionate. Alexander pushes his tongue into his officially appointed Chiliarch and demands entrance as he draws their bodies closer into each other.

Hephaestion gasps with the sudden lost of air but he does not withdraw from the fierce hold of his lover. The feeling of the King's silk robe is smooth against the General's warm body. As the kiss deepens the embrace of the eager lovers transform into wandering and groping hands. The Chiliarch moves his fingers down to undo the loosely tied knot of Alexander's delicate robe. The General wraps his arm around his lover's naked body to draw them closer. In response, Alexander slowly tugs down Hephaestion's chiton as he moves his swelling lips down the other man's neck to his chest. The King passionately bites a nipple causing Hephaestion to moan and arch back onto the table. As the General's chiton falls to the floor, he feels a small breeze blow on his erection causing it to throb against the lower region of his body. But the cold is subsided as he is ignited by warm lips and a strong tongue engulfing him. Callused hands wrap tightly around his waist as the King gains momentum and speed, the General is lost to his senses.

Hephaestion grabs a handful of Alexander's hair as he loses his wits focusing on the burning fire exploding below him.

"Alexander there is a bed" pants the General breathlessly trying to find his voice. "We would be more comfortable…"

The King withdraws causing Hephaestion's mind to collapse in disappointment. He is almost a lifeless shell of a body craving for complete satisfaction of his carnal needs. Alexander moves up to face his lover, "I do not want to let you go now that I have you here with me" whispers the King as he gives another deep kiss to his lover. The sweet smell of his Alexander's musk obscures Hephaestion's mind. He is absolutely lost to his desires. Without warning, with sudden force and great strength, the King roughly turns his lover to face the table. Alexander leans forward to spread Hephaestion's arms across the solid built table as he presses his hard body up against his lover.

"I have missed you Phai" gasps the King, "I sense you have been pulling away from me" groans Alexander, "Perhaps you need to be reminded of your place in my heart. My wives hold nothing compared to my love for you Phai."

"What?" exclaims the General as he tries to rotate his body around, "I have been busy… nothing…" but Hephaestion's words are muffled as he feels the warmth and moisture of Alexander's body slide behind him finding its entrance. Then without another word Hephaestion is breached through. The initial pain is quickly set aside and absolute ecstasy is felt as a rhythm is created and their bodies fuse into one.

Alexander concentrates only upon his love for the other man, as he tries to express all is feelings into his actions. He is unable to control himself as he fervently drives his thrusts deeper into his lover. Hephaestion props up firmly to the table focused on the poundage hitting the area within his soul that brought his body to life. He then feels Alexander take hold of his own throbbing erection. The General almost loses it by the sensitively of the touch.

"You are mine! Phai!" murmurs the King, "I can never share you with another … not again!"

"Alexander!" whispers Hephaestion with concern in his voice, "I have always been yours and no other…." But his is unable to find another coherent word as a sensational wave of heat quivers within his body.

"I can never lose you Phai" firmly states the King as he thrusts harder, "Never…lose you!" The men go silent as they both reach the pinnacle of their passion and desire in unison. Both men say nothing and lay toppled against each other in complete pleasure.

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Hephaestion is only able to hear his heartbeat racing through his ears when he finally feels the weight of his lover over him. "Alexander' calls out the General, "I am unable to breath."

"Oh Ah!" hastily replies the King, "Yes, of course" as he pulls out and up from his lover's back. Before Alexander is able to step away towards from his lover, he is pulled quickly up against the other man.

"Thank you!" smiles Hephaestion, "You are what I needed." He then leans in to place a passionate kiss reflecting his gratitude. He then pulls away with a smirk, "Care for a drink? I am suddenly parched!" However, prior to the General walking towards the nearby decanter of wine, Alexander grabs hold of his wrist.

"We need to talk Phai!" firmly states Alexander, "I have grown concerned with what I have been hearing from the men… from our comrades."

Hephaestion looks bemused at his lover as he smile fades away. He stares into Alexander's eyes seeing the true concern and uneasiness swirling within them. The General ponders as to the cause of his lover's trepidation.

"Of course Alexander" calmly replies Hephaestion trying to conceal any signs of his personal quandary. "What is that troubles you?"

The King's body relaxes slightly as he is finally given an opportunity to discuss with Hephaestion the reports he had been receiving regarding his General's strange behaviors. Alexander had been informed by several of his companions of the Chiliarch's unusual restiveness and abrupt temper. The King had also been apprised of Hephaestion's sudden delegation of his duties and responsibilities from several of General's own men and staff. In all appearance, it would seem that Hephaestion was the one being sent back to Pella. However, perhaps the most disconcerting of Hephaestion's recent conduct was the sudden withdrawal and distance growing between them, since the mass weddings. Alexander had tried to discuss these concerns with his lover, but with the recent plans for Escanaba and Crateus' commission to regent, the King had been preoccupied with other pressing matters. But now alone with his lover, he would find the source of Hephaestion's odd behavior.

Hephaestion says nothing more as he gingerly walks to the decanter of wine and fills two small bowls. He looks down to compose himself as he runs through his mind all he was willing to reveal to his lover. Hephaestion closes his eyes and takes in a deep and long breath as he turns with a subtle smile at his King now reclining on the large bed propped up among the vast pillows. With the silk robe removed, Alexander lies naked on his side following his lover with his eyes.

The General walks casually to hand the King a bowl as he sits on the edge of the bed to remove his sandals. Hephaestion says nothing as he purposefully stares to the floor. He finally lifts his head to reach for his own bowl and motions to lie next to his lover.

The King snuggles close to the General placing his head on Hephaestion shoulder. "Where were you tonight?" questions Alexander as he reaches out for the bowl of wine, "My pages informed me that you were not at your personal residences."

"I was with Crateus and a few of companions to share a drink or two… or a few" smiles Hephaestion trying to lighten the mood, "I may have allowed myself to indulge in more than my old body can handle." Hephaestion then looks down at his lover as he tenderly strokes his smooth chest, "So you have been waiting up for me?" grins the General as he leans in carefully to place a small kiss on Alexander's lips. "I am honored for your attention."

"Will you not tell me what it is that inflicts you with sorrow?" questions Alexander slightly pulling away. "I had hoped the enmity that we may have once shared can now be set aside and the love can begin between us again."

Hephaestion is lost for words drawn to the musky scent of loving making on his King. He drinks his bowl of wine as if to find his words, to build his confidence. Having received no response, Alexander gives a large sigh and moves away from his general to sit up to harshly stare at the man across from him.

"Hephaestion your silence speaks volumes" dejectedly observes Alexander, "I know that you have been re-delegating your duties and resigning your command. I have heard the reports about your ill- temper with your men and almost discourteous behavior with your fellow commanders. Not to mention that you have been keeping yourself distant from me… from us. I ask you once again Phai, what has happened?"

It takes all of Hephaestion's strength to hold back the emotional tidal wave spinning in his heart. He chokes a little as he listens to Alexander's last remark.

The General is speechless. The King spoke the truth; he had been avoiding his lover. Since the wedding the General had sought out every opportunity to engage in activities and businesses that took him away from meeting and encountering with the King, especially alone. On several occasions, Alexander had invited Hephaestion to join him for a private meal or a drink and on all instances he had graciously declined his lover's offers with some trifling excuse. The General was unable to face the direction of his fate as he stared down at the concerned King. In his heart, he had wanted to share his nightmares with Alexander but in his mind he knew it would gain him nothing but grief and sorrow. Alexander, the ever suspicious man and believer of symbols would take into heart the seriousness of Hephaestion's nightly visions, to judge them as valid. Alexander the lover would go to the ends of the world to alter Hephaestion's fate; he would seek out all means to save his life.

But the General was a more sensible man and accepted his future realizing there was no possibility of altering it. His only anxiety was to keep it from Alexander from saving him the pain. Yet, Hephaestion understood and believed in the strong bond and love held between them. The future of one man was intertwined with the other, so long as they were together. Hephaestion now sought to break the relationship to save his King.

"Hephaestion we will not leave this room until you talk to me" nervously announces Alexander, once more not receiving a response to his questions, "Would you have me call the Guards to restrain you … to make you talk to me? Must I force it out of you my love." Alexander head falls to this chin in sadness. He was fully aware of Hephaestion's withdrawal from him. Alexander recognized the signs. He was all to familiar with the distant look in his lover's eyes, the General's avoidance of any encounter with him and his unwillingness to share any intimate thoughts. Alexander had seen this behavior before after his despicable display in India. It was then, in the presence of the entire army, Alexander had proclaimed Hephaestion's insignificance and almost sycophant position in the army by denouncing his worthiness without the King's favor.

For weeks after Alexander's heated words to Hephaestion, the love between the two men had dissipated and faded away. The stubbornness and ego of each man would not allow for a compromise… a possibility of reconciliation. They were a broken pair. A couple damaged and destroyed by mere words. It was an all out war between the vanities of two very strong men.

Alexander looks up to Hephaestion again reaching out to caress his lover's face. The General turns to look somberly at the King, his eyes glistening with tears.

Hephaestion take a moment to reflect on his words. He was alone in his grief and long to confide with his lover. But he prevails in his conviction. Looking at Alexander's misery reaffirmed the dire situation and that they soon would face life apart and on their own.

Alexander is taken aback by the unexpected sorrow he finds in Hephaestion's expression. There was pain and almost a hint of loneliness reflecting back at him. Alexander realizes immediately that it would be a long night and that Hephaestion was hiding something… a matter that would change the course of their lives. Alexander understood this to be case having recently seen the same look once before, at a time when his own pride and vanity blinded him to the harsh reality of the situation. But now he saw the current circumstances with open eyes and a loving heart. He was losing his lover and to an unforeseeable force… Alexander would have to fight for his life to have his lover return. He would spend his remaining life 'compensating" his lover for his failures, his abuses, for his betrayal.

Hephaestion instinctively reaches out to pull his lover close. "I love only you Alexander" He leans in to place a demanding kiss to reaffirm his vow. "I would die for you." Hephaestion moves up to crawl forward to his lover placing his body over him. The General throws himself to his lover consuming his lips with a heated desire. In his mind he was trying to merge their body as one. The King appears submissive deepening the kiss and drawing his lover further in. Hephaestion casually pulls away moving himself down Alexander's body taking in his chest and caressing his thighs. The King moans in pleasure, but then suddenly, Alexander flashes opens his eyes quickly dismissing his throbbing arousal, to reach out and push his lover away.

"No!" exclaims Alexander, "I need to know what it that troubles you Phai?" pleas the King, as he pushes up with his elbows to sit before his lover, "I can see you withdrawing from me. I recognize the behavior. You are pulling away?"

"Pulling away? What is it of my actions of late that has alerted you to be concerned in such a way?" replies Hephaestion as he too sits up across from his lover, "What is it that you recognize? You have seen me this way before?"

Alexander sits up to look at his lover tilting his head to the side as if to study him. "I have known you my whole life Phai." whispers the King, "There is nothing about you that I do not know. Your eyes tell me the truth. I am able to recognize that you are pulling away because you have done so once before. Do you not recall… India?"

"India?" confusingly answers Hephaestion, and then his expression goes somber, when all of a sudden he realizes the meaning of the word. A flood of memories crashes within the General as he begins to recall the separation and break up endured by both men after Hephaestion's verbal altercation with Crateus. The General calls into mind the night the King announced to the world that he was nothing without him. Hephaestion sorrowfully reflects upon a time in his life when he in fact lived in a different world apart from his lover… a life he once shared with another. These would be the last memories he held concerning his relationship with Alexander, in which their lives were once again influenced by misguided love and uncertainty.

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_Chapter 13 – India – Life With or Without You_

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TBC

* We are heading towards the end! With the ending written I anticipate two or three more chapters to this story. I hope you are all enjoying your read of this fiction. A big THANK YOU to TooBeauty, Queendel, Angstman, Tribalshimmy, Laurensis, Freebird09 for your reviews. Without them there is no point! To MLygia: Yes! We are finally done with Cleitus' death and now off to India we go - I promise these chapters will be a short but a bumpy ride :) Hang on! :0


	13. Chapter 13 India Life With or Without

_**Chapter 13 – India – Life with or without you**_

The heavy rain cascaded down the tents to create a drum roll cadence that echoed within the camp. In the distance, the cymbal crash of the violent thunder shook the ground to a baritone rumble. It was the sound of Zeus' orchestra.

It was a melancholy symphony played out by the God of the Sky and Thunder's musical ensemble, a song of nature's wrath. The dramatic scenes exemplified the animosity and anger that back dropped the group of men facing each other. In the forefront were the Great King of Persia's most trusted and loyal generals. It was to be a battle to the death, the winner would take all.

Hephaestion stood drenched under the heavy down pour as he grasped firmly to the hilt of his sword. He stared blinded with rage at the old general of Alexander's phalanx. The young General's body was burning with annoyance and fury. He had had enough of Craterus' insults and taunting. On most occasions, Hephaestion would endure the accusation of his sycophantic position, his intimate history with the King or even perhaps the malcontent created by Alexander's marriage to a barbarian. However, when the attacks were raised against Alexander's personage as a man and as a ruler, to question his intention and true aspiration, the General would hold no tolerance. This had been the backbone of the mounting tension brewing with the army. For months, since their entry into India, the Macedonians of the Great Army were growing restless and agitated. For ten years, they had followed their beloved King from the coastline of Greece to the mountainous terrains of India. They were exhausted, older and yearned to go home, back to Greece. These arguments were the voices of those who had seen enough of this "new world" and now sought to go no further. But then there were those who stood at the other end of the spectrum. They were loyalist to Alexander, his companions and new "guards" who would follow their ruler to the ends of the world. Thus these were the established reasons the two generals now stood before a divided army, as the unofficial representatives of the Macedonian traditionalists and the integrationalist for the new world.

"Should not your place be with the Harem among the King's wife and his eunuch lover?" sneered out Craterus in a loud laughter, "We are men here."

"Ha! What I see here is a retched, narrow minded fool who is well beyond his prime" counted Hephaestion with undeterred by the older General's larger body size, "You are but a poor reflection of who you once were, an old man within a new army."

"Hmph! I lead my men at the head of every battle like a true commander." Snapped the older General, "You have yet to be given a sole command of a mission. I have proven myself with each victory I have brought from the battle field. I earned my rank through merit not from my skills in the sack… _omnium amicorum carissimus_."

"Consort!" yelled a voice from the crowd that stood in support of Craterus. The comment caused a small stir of laughter.

"Whore" came another voice

The crowd behind Hephaestion shoved suddenly open as Leonnatus swept pass Hephaestion, "Step up you cowards! Come forward and say those words again."

Hephaestion had also been ready to lunge had it not been for the firm grip of Ptolemy and Perdiccas. The younger general still managed to take a step forward, "I will not degrade myself with such pitiable insecurities. Your open display of discontent towards this campaign makes you no friend of the King."

"Come boy I grow tired of this rhetoric foreplay." Snide Crateus as he also took a step towards Hephaestion. The two men stood inches away from each other, "Let us find out if you truly carry balls of a real man under your Persian attire", added the older General as he flicked Hephaestion's chiton.

The men gathered behind the Generals follow their lead as the mob also jostled forward. The hard steel of metal can be heard grazing through the air. The two sides are prepared for an all out crash.

"Hephaestion" uttered Ptolemy as discreetly as possible to his friend, "You must try to be reasonable here. Should Alexan…" But his voice is lost to the roaring growl of fast approaching horses entering into the campsite. Prior to any man is able to distinguish out the loud roar through the pouring rain. The King could be heard before seen bellowing through the crowd.

"Stand down!" called out Alexander as he exploded out of the darkness of the night between his two Generals, "I have ordered that you all… STAND ….DOWN …NOW!!"

The King glared angrily at his favorite generals, "What! What is the meaning of this?" Although he was aware of the rivalry between the leading men before him, he refused to give justification for the ill-mannered conduct.

"My King!" began Crateus "Alexander" stated Hephaestion; their manner for addressing the Ruler of Persia exemplified their position with him. The King's own words came to haunt him, 'I endear you both as my _Philexandros_, Hephaestion and to you Crateus, my _Philobasileus_..."

"I will not tolerate to have my own commanders lead this army, _my_ men into disarray and division" yelled out the King, "You _both_ will cease this quarrel now by pain of death. I swear to it by the Gods! I will not give consideration to whom this may concern."

Alexander turned sharply to the older General, "Craterus, take leave from here. You are to remain confined in your tent until I deem it otherwise."

He then snapped around to his long time friend, "_And Hephaestion, what will be your power and your accomplishment if one bereaved you of your Alexander_?" The King continued further as he stared focused upon his comrade, "_for without my favors, you are __nothing_!"

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_Months Later - Near Indus River_

Hephaestion woke up in a cold sweat. He sat up from his bed with a mixture of the heat of his body against the coolness of the night. The sky above crashed a booming noise from the heavy rain. The echo brought him back to his dream. His bed shifted as Hephaestion came to realize he was not alone. He looked over his shoulder to see golden hair fanned over the pillow next to him. Hephaestion took comfort that he was not alone; his heart steadied and became calm. The General leaned back on the bed to take in his surroundings. His head slightly ached from the night's celebration. The King's bridge across the Indus River had finally been completed. It had taken longer that expected, to subdue the local tribes. This delay was not his fault alone as a skillful and worthy commander. He was also the governor of a small city. Hephaestion not only managed an army but a large wagon train that consisted of the King's wife, eunuch, harem, and various trades. Alexander had split the army taking with him only those he needed to clear the Northern regions. But finally, after three months, Alexander's bridge was constructed, ready and prepared for his crossing against Porus, the last remaining nation who refused to submit the new King of Persia.

During this assignment, Hephaestion had worked tirelessly in his first real command. Perdiccas would serve as a co-commander when needed. The new role brought a welcome distraction to his mind and heart, an outlet to forget the faithful argument against Craterus. The quarrel with his fellow companion had not only scarred the relationship with the older general; but it had redefined his place with Alexander. Everything had changed that dreadful night and nothing would ever be the same. With the King's firing words, Hephaestion had been given a new prospective of his true place in Alexander's heart and in his army. Even now, months later, the words, "_for without my favors, _you are _nothing"_, loomed a dark cloud over the General and tormented him nightly in his dreams. For years, all the details and purpose of Hephaestion's existence had been interwoven with that of Alexander; for he had believed it to be reciprocated. What a fool he had been to believe their childhood love would last. Hephaestion had realized too late his disappointment and heart break, the exchange had been unilateral, a one way trade. With the King's public announcement before the entire army, he had solidified Hephaestion's place for indeed now he would be perceived as nothing without Alexander. It will forever be apparent that Hephaestion had gained his place in the army not through his personal merit and valor; but as a result of favoritism. In one clear swoop, Alexander's remark had invalidated all of the General's efforts and work to be frivolous and meaningless. . In those few words, Alexander had obliterated Hephaestion's own identity and significance as a warrior.

Shortly after Hephaestion's formal vow before the Gods and the King to never again engage in another quarrel with Craterus, he had volunteered for this mission. He needed the time to reassess his position in the army and redefine himself without Alexander in his life.

Initially, Alexander had rejected Hephaestion's request to lead this mission across the Khyber Pass. Several days after the argument between the Generals Alexander had tried to explain his words, to give more definition to the meaning of his outburst. But both men understood that the only truth that could be interpreted in Alexander's remark was that no matter how it was explained, the damage had been done, the wedge was too large and too painful. How does one change a factual truth even if said by force? How can one forget what has been said?

The pride of both men would not allow a simple submission; especially when the foundation of their relationship, their love was now delicate and breakable. .Since the death of Cleitus and the King's marriage to his barbarian wife, his relationship with Alexander had become strained and worn. A gap had been created between the two men as a result of the realities and hardship of the both the campaign and the King's other lovers. The boy that Hephaestion had loved long ago had become a man, who was far more powerful and unattainable. It did not help matters that since Cleitus' death, the King had an elevated prospective to his identity. No longer did Alexander allow for a forum of "freedom of speech" among his men or companions, the King had become the final law on all matters.

For that night forward, nothing would be the same between them. Hephaestion had given all he could and now there was nothing left for him to offer. He had been consumed and driven lost to Alexander's campaign. In some way, the King's words held validity; he was nothing without his love. He was in complete darkness without his Sun God. Hephaestion had always lived his life in the contexts of his King and his lover. Before departing his King, the General had resolved, he was not ready to lose his heart to his childhood lover again, to have it broken. And so it was, both the King and the General went their separate ways, the King went North to contain various war tribes and the General went West to build a bridge.

The bed shifted again and Hephaestion again returned his attention to the man sleeping next to him. The General could not help but smile. He was again made whole. The promises of love forged by childhood memories and a common goal had rejuvenated him out of his slumber. Hephaestion reached out to tenderly caress a small scar across the tan back, a blade cut from a sword match at Mieza; a gash on the right shoulder, a pierced arrow from Chaeronea, and a final wound to the back of the thigh that was placed there after the Battle at Issus.

The man beside him matched Hephaestion in every challenges faced by the trial and tribulation of this Persian Campaign. He mirrored Hephaestion's love and devotion for adventure and a dream to conquer the end of the World. Theirs was a friendship that withstood all that contradicted it. He was a boy of his youth now a man before the army. He led his men valiantly, inspired all around him to believe to follow and to see the new world as a place of endless possibilities. This man craved for change and was the first to argue against the traditionalist, the old Macedonians of the army. It was for these reasons; Hephaestion allowed this man to into his shattered heart, to renew it and give it hope.

Hephaestion was unable to restrain from staring love struck when he found a pair of dark warm brown eyes staring at him, bemused and tired.

"I did not mean to wake you?" smiled Hephaestion as he stroked a strand of hair to better see the dark eyes adjusting to the light of the room.

"I was not sleeping!" gruff out the man next to him, as he moved up to hug the pillow to better nestle his head on it. "Another nightmare?"

Hephaestion sat quiet as he tried to hide the truth under his eyelids.

"Again you are troubled by the same nightmares!" came the soft and tender voice, "The words that still haunt you were said in the heat of the moment, never was it the goal to destroy you. Do not let it break you Hephaestion!"

"You should know me better than to think me so frail" responded Hephaestion in a controlled tone. "Perhaps it is your boisterous snoring that had kept me awake."

"These nightmares are the only dreams that startle you into a cold sweat" explained the other man, "I know you to be a great warrior, general in this army, but these dreams of yours takes hold of you. You must let it go. The past is behind us and we… you… must move forward from it."

"So you are a philosopher now?" teased Hephaestion as his mood lightened, "Aristotle would be pleased."

"You bring out the best in me" smiled the dark eyes of his lover, "You alone and no other."

A scarlet blush burned on Hephaestion's face. He stared at the man lying next to him. He could feel his heart racing. In an instant, Hephaestion leaned over and felt his body bursting with a deep urge to calm his nightmares. He could feel the hard tip of his lover's _softness_ against his thigh. He raised a brow and offered a smirk as he slid a hand to glide over it, tease it. Hephaestion hovered over his lover's face to cover the lips of the other man and forced his tongue to open his mouth. The kiss was deepened quickly, the passion rose over Hephaestion's mind. Each man laid shifted onto their sides. They slowly massaged each other with soft caresses down their lover's back, neck and arm as they intertwined their legs together. Suddenly, Hephaestion was rolled to his back as two strong arms pillar at his sides and the scent of the forest falls off the long blond hair that trickled down his face. Hephaestion was surrounded with the intense heat of the other man's rapid breathing. For a moment, the kiss was broken as brown eyes pierce through his soul followed by a bright smile that ensured he was not alone. Hephaestion leaned further back into the pillow as a gentle hand took hold of his erected organ pulsating to the touch. Instantly, Hephaestion lifted up to the rhythm strokes on his body, as the wave of ecstasy encapsulated his senses. The young general moaned in grief as the hand was withdrawn, but was wrapped with relief as he watched his golden lover sit up to shift himself between his legs. Hephaestion moved further down the bed to adjust himself as his lover reached out for the nearby oil. The warmth of the thick oil on his body gradually increased his anticipation. Then without warning, Hephaestion balked back further into his pillows as his lover entered into his body. The General gasped at the initial shock through his tightness, but quickly bent his legs and moved forward to match the hard trusts now moving into him. His lover was riding him hard taking Hephaestion out of the dark shadows of his dreams into a newfound hope of a better future. The storms of the haunting words "nothing without me" were now lost as Hephaestion was washed away with the wave of pure sexual satisfaction and love rolling over him. His lover groped for his organ stroking it in time to the pace rocking inside him. The General concentrated only on the heat and climatic boiling inside him. He was on the edge, ready to erupt and release the aftermath of his dreams, of the past. But in his heart Hephaestion knew though he would be slow to forgive his king, but would forever be in love with the only man who held this heart. Feeling himself exploding within the clasp fingers of his lover, Hephaestion was once more reconnected to himself and was again reminded that he was alive. Suddenly he was in possession of euphoria; the weight of the world was lifted. He was finally set free again.

The General embraced his lover close as they collapsed together in each others arms. Hephaestion welcomed the warm kisses against his hot skin as he sought to catch his breath. Without another word spoken, the two men cuddled close as the power of _Hypnos_ cast over them into a welcome slumber. Hephaestion would sleep through the night without the lingering images of his nightmare or the reoccurring remorse. He was his own man again.

_The Next Morning_

The morning breeze was warm as it blew through the General's chambers. Hephaestion pulled a clean chiton over his head and carefully walked to his desk. He reached out for the awaiting drink of lemon water and looked over his shoulder at the sleeping man in his bed. He played with the metal band around his upper arm. His lover had surprised him with a small gift of congratulation for the success of this mission. A mischievous grin formed on his face as he entertained the prospect of another moment with his golden haired lover. Suddenly his attention and thoughts were diverted to the flap of his tent. His page, Jaon, rushed into and dropped his chin to his chest as he held out a scroll to the General.

"Sir!" announced the sun burnt youth, his eyes looked up carefully over his brows, "A message has arrived from the King". Jaon was unable to conceal his curiosity as to the movement in the other room. The youth followed the shadow of another person behind the curtain as they were drawn up and opened.

The General noticed the boy's wandering eyes and stepped up, "Thank you Joan! You are dismissed!" The Page again dropped his eyes and quickly nods in acknowledgment as he rushed out of the tent.

Hephaestion did not look upon his lover now in the room. He anxiously broke the seal of the scroll to quickly read its contents.

"Well what new request has our King made now?" inquired the voice behind him, "Perhaps some new mechanical device that will allow him to soar in the air? Or better yet, he will want to conquer the Eastern section of this region?"

"Do not give him any ideas!" chided Hephaestion as he tilted his head to the side to welcome a dry kiss. His head jolted upward, "No!" he stated sharply into a gasp. "He will be here by nightfall. He… has…" he uttered uncertainly, "He has asked for an immediate private council with me upon his arrival."

"It is but an excuse Hephaestion" replied the man now standing before the General, "He misses you and has now found a subtle reason to call for you without losing face."

"You hold too much in my place with the King, Perdiccas" rebuffed the young General, "He has others to occupy his time, to tend to. Do you not recall he now has a wife, a eunuch and a harem of slaves under his care?"

"But it is you that he loves" whispered the stubby faced man, his dark eyes filling with the barest trace of sorrow, "That fact will never change."

"I hold no torch for him!" cuts Hephaestion, unconvincingly trying to appear unfazed, "Some things have changed!"

"And yet not all things have changed!" boldly responded Perdiccas, "You know this to be true. "A full winter apart has been far too long."

Hephaestion was lost for words, his only response was to cup his lover's cheek and draw his face against the other man's forehead, "I have no intention of diminishing what we have."

"Nor do I expect you to do so. I love you" whispered Perdiccas, his voice cracked. He pulled away shameful for revealing more than he had intended. The blond haired General looked at his friend, "I came into this affair eyes wide open. I always knew Alexander would forever hold your heart as you hold his."

"These talks are frivolous Perdiccas! The King has made no efforts to reconcile even a friendship. His inaction speaks louder than words." Stated Hephaestion his confidence was in vain under his trembling voice. He tried to reach out to his lover to ensure him.

"But he has made efforts Hephaestion. Have you already forgotten how he had tried to talk to you after your argument with Craterus? But your pride refused his offers for an explanation or consolation." Firmly responded Perdiccas as he stood further away, "So he gave you the space, the distance you needed and gave you this assignment. But more than enough time has passed, and now" "paused Perdiccas as he looked up again, "Your separation from the King was the result of pure selfish pride and a little stubbornness. Your ego may have blinded you… but your heart will always belong to Alexander."

"And what does this leave you?" asked Hephaestion his voice trailed in anguish, "For months we have been together, and now you tell me this. You have some sudden revelation."

"I always knew what we share could last… forever." Tenderly smiled Perdiccas as he looked up bravely, "I have no regrets Hephaestion to have loved you, even if briefly, will last a lifetime for me."

Hephaestion looked at his friend with a conflict of sorrow and relief. He knew what Perdiccas had spoken was the truth. The past months he had been living in an alternate world. Hephaestion had allowed himself to forget or at least he had tried not to feel Alexander's public declaration and the anguish it brought him. With Perdiccas, he had grown into his own acceptance of his new life. With this new kind of love, he flourished and was reborn in confidence. But always in the depth of his heart and in the back of his mind, he still loved Alexander. He would never be able to sever the connection and devotion held for his King. They were forever bond. Yet, he did love Perdiccas but it fell short for that in which he carried for Alexander. Perdiccas indeed had been precise to the reality of their affair; it would need to end, especially now that Alexander was coming back into his life.

"I will always have the utmost respect… love for you!" promised Hephaestion, as he reached out to the Perdiccas who was now moving further back, "What we have shared…"

"Our moments together, these months…will always be ours to remember." smiled the blond haired companion, "But Alexander is your Achilles as you are his Patroclus. Your fates have been destined by the Gods. But know Hephaestion, I will always be here as a friend and ally. You will always have the love of my friendship."

Hephaestion dropped his chin to his chest in grief. He could not refute his friend.

"Come now Hephaestion, enough of this!" tenderly smiled Perdiccas, his glistening eyes gave way to his heartbreak, "The King will be arriving, we must look sharp!"

"Perdiccas…."

"We have much to do this morning General Amyntor." declared the dark eyed General, as he walked to a chair to gather his sword and chlamys, "The men must be prepared, inspection of construction site and of course you must prepare yourself for your meeting with the King. I am sure you will have much to discuss." Then with a small nod, Perdiccas walked up to place a kiss on each of Hephaestion cheek before walking out of the tent.

_Later that night,_

The trumpets of the King's arrival blared throughout the camp as Hephaestion stood ahead in the center of the compound along side Perdiccas and his other commanders. The King rode ahead flanked with his commanders, Coenus, Craterus, Ptolemy and Leonnatus. Alexander was greeted warmly by all of his men who were unable to contain their excitement as they all rallied around to see their king.

Alexander swung off his horse and handed it to a nearby page. He was immediately overwhelmed by a huge group of men. He smiled and greeted his men warmly, exchanging words of encouragement and triumph; all the while pushing his way through the crowd. He searched out over the mob that encircled around him. He cranked his head to seek out out his friend. But the King was being carried way by the wave of euphoria from his cheering men. Everyone was in total jubilation over the final reunion of their King with his army. As he pushed his way through the crowd, Alexander finally caught a glimpse of Hephaestion embracing Ptolemy and the other companions who arrived with him. He watched as his General was roughly hugged by Coenus. Again, Alexander fought his way forward as he kept focus on the man ahead of him. He had missed Hephaestion's presence, companionship and dare he if could, his love. Alexander quickened his movement as he found himself only a few feet away from his childhood lover. He blushed as Hephaestion looked across to home in on the King's approach. Their eyes met and soon the cheers of the crowd and the world around them disappeared. Alexander could now feel at home, whole at last as he was finally reunited with his Hephaestion. But then he saw Perdiccas lean in and whisper into Hephaestion's ear and suddenly Alexander's world began to crumble. The King's jealousy and pride burn through his veins. He was brought back to the reality of the reports he received of the affair between his two generals. Alexander all once stood frozen and uncertain as to how to best handle the situation. The King felt his heart break but as he looked up, Alexander again saw Hephaestion staring directly at him with a smile. The King felt his confidence renewed and again made his approach towards his General. Hephaestion having located his King walked away from his fellow companions to meet up with him.

"My King!" exclaimed Hephaestion has he stood a few inches from Alexander, "Welcome back!"

"General Amyntor!" responded Alexander, "It is good to see you!"

The two men stood awkwardly before each other not sure as to what was expected. They smiled shyly until the King, unable to take the absurdity of not being able to embrace his old friend, grabbed hold of Hephaestion and pulled him tightly. "Phai!" he whispered into the nape of Hephaestion's neck, "By all the Gods, I have missed you!"

"As have I Alexander…" The General held onto Alexander as if his life depended upon it until the noise of the cheering crowd came to a gradual hush silence. In the short distance across from the General and the King the men was pushed to the side and a clearing was made. Hephaestion looked up and slowly released his hold of Alexander.

_TBC_

Okay I am off on vacation - hoped you enjoyed this chapter - Aloha!


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